Psycho Parents

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2000
Psycho Parents
7
Sun, 11-06-2005 - 8:51am

I have this 7th grader in my class, who is one of the most nervous children I have ever seen. Most of the time, he's OK, but as children sometimes do, he has his little misbehaviors. And he has a huge problem with being corrected or being told "no".

He has a behavior plan and it details a number of steps to take. "Timeout in classroom" is at about #4, whereas "call parent" is at about #8. Any severe issues and the behavior plan goes out the window.

Anyway, I don't know what was in the water on Friday, but my class was bonkers. Most had lost all of their "tickets" that I give daily, and the lunch detention teacher was not on campus that day. SOoooo, I had the majority of my class stay with me for the first half of lunch on Friday.

Well, this little 14 year old 7th grader (who definitely deserved the timeout/detention/ whatever you want to call it) decides that he's not staying and leaves. That is fine. 14 is old enough to make choices - even if they're bad ones. He stood by the door for at least a couple of minutes before he decided to leave, so this wasn't an impulsive action.

One way to get a guaranteed write-up in my room is to leave without permission. I did, and he's suspended on Monday.

Mom is LIVID that I didn't leave my room and call her to let her know that he was going to leave the room, so she could come to school and help him make the right choice. She's appealing the suspension and "calling her lawyer".

Am I being unreasonable to think that a 14 year old with a good head on his shoulders should be able to make the choice and live with the consequences of whether he should stay for detention or not?? I am not going to leave my room to call her every time he needs his nose wiped.

It's going to be a long year.

Karen

 


PJPIIadoration.jpg picture by Kimberly_sahm

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2000
Sun, 11-06-2005 - 1:48pm
You can't just leave and abandon all the other kids you are responsible for.
You did the right thing.
He needs to live with the consequences of his actions.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Sun, 11-06-2005 - 3:29pm

You absolutely did the right thing!! He's not 6 or 7. He chose to walk out, he chose the consequences. Plain and simple. Let her go through the lengthty process of retaining a lawyer over a suspension and see what happens. She and her son will look like total fools by the end of this....

Babe, what you are going through is small potatoes compared to the crap I have endured. I have been every dirty low life name in the book and all because I want "their" children to follow a simple rule. It's ridiculous!!

Ladies, there must be something that can be done about this. The emotional and verbal abuse we suffer is crazy. I refuse to believe that we have no recourse. I just have to figure out what to do about it.

I wish schools wouldn't tolerate such garbage, but most people who run schools are cowards. They are more concerned about dollars that teacher/student safety. Hang in there and keep doing what you are doing. You were absolutely correct.

GT34

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Sun, 11-06-2005 - 5:01pm

I'd guess that part of his problem is mom.

Sherry

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2000
Sun, 11-06-2005 - 7:08pm

Thank you.

I DO have an aide/assistant, so technically I *could* leave. But this is not something I want to be a regular occurance. She wants me to call so she can "calm him down". But no one was upset. He did what he had to do - very calmly. And I did what I had to do - very calmly.

SHE was the one who needed someone to calm her down.

Karen

 


PJPIIadoration.jpg picture by Kimberly_sahm

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2000
Sun, 11-06-2005 - 8:01pm

I know you have seen some stuff in your journeys!

I can't complain about our administration. I refused to talk to that woman without my AP present, and when the mom started to raise her voice, the AP halted the meeting and told me and my assistant that we were dismissed. The woman said she was appealing the suspension, and the AP told her that was her right and asked if she needed the phone #. I'm not the first teacher she's been in there hollering about.

I agree there should be some recourse when you are dealing with nut cases (students and parents).

I called another mom last week and left a message at the one phone # that I have that I needed to schedule a meeting with her and asked her to return my call. I asked the child a few days later if his mom had gotten my message. His sister, who is also in my class, piped up, "What do you think my mom is? A message-returning-machine??" And I'm thinking, "If MY kids' teacher called, I'd have called them back within the hour." Different strokes for different folks, I guess.

Karen

 


PJPIIadoration.jpg picture by Kimberly_sahm

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2000
Sun, 11-06-2005 - 8:30pm

You have described his mom exactly. "Oh yes, send home his homework that he missed." But it comes back undone, because that was "pool night".

IMHO, she is about 95% of the problem. I don't know what they pay-off is for her - to have kids that will be dependent on her forever??? She invests a heckuva lot of time in making sure that they are not held accountable for their actions. But tries to make it look like she's supporting us.

OF course "office referral" is further down the line that phone call to Mom, but I felt that when he left the room, we skipped all of the intervening steps.

Some days you win, some days you lose, some days you don't even get up to bat.

Karen

 


PJPIIadoration.jpg picture by Kimberly_sahm

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Sun, 11-06-2005 - 9:24pm

I think you're probably right on. These moms want their kids to think they are on their side and their best friends. They indulge, make excuses and rationalze to their kids. They don't parent.


I'm glad your AP was supportive. It sounds like they know her game.


Hang in there. Maybe someday we will really be in charge of our classrooms and respected for our abilities.


Sherry