question about twins and school

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2006
question about twins and school
7
Sat, 06-24-2006 - 9:12pm
I am a high school science teacher, but I am not sure what to do with my own children. Here's our story. I have 4.5 year old b/g twins. This fall the will start their last year of pre-school. Last year they were in the same class. They will also be in the same class for pre-K. I have talked to a kindergarten teacher who says they like to split twins up. If I do not do it in kindergarten then they WILL be in 1st grade. Do I have a say in this? I am not sure what I want, but I feel like it should be my and DH's decision. Any thoughts on the issue would be appreciated.
Thanks,
Kristi
 

  

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2000
Sun, 06-25-2006 - 9:37am

Honestly? I think you should defer to the school on this one.
Other parents don't really get to have a say in their child's class placement and who they are placed with. I am wondering what makes parents of twins think they should have special consideration in this? What is so different about twins that it should be the parent's decision when it isn't really the parent's decision for other kids?

Other kids do not get an automatic, built in comfort zone considered in their class placement. I'm sure MOST kindergarteners would be happier and more at ease if their best friend from the neighborhood was guaranteed to be with them in class. But, they get placed as they get placed and learn to deal without that other person and to meet new friends. Your twins are just as strong as that - so why not let them be?

The tone of this is coming across as harsh, and I don't really mean it to be.
The question marks are truly questions. If there truly is a reason in your mind why it is important that you get to control this, I would be interested in hearing it. It is pretty common that parents of twins seem to feel entitled to more power in this decision than other parents, and I would love to hear an explanation of why if you are able to articulate it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2006
Sun, 06-25-2006 - 11:41am

Glad you clarified that you were not being harsh. Anyway, I am not seeking control of placement. I am not seeking more input than a parent of a singleton. To me this is just a unique decision for parents of multiples. It is a decision that singleton parents do not even need to contemplate. Furthermore, I said I am not sure what I think is best, but I think I should be consulted. What is best for one set of twins (separation vs. not) may not be best for another.

I am part of a mother of twins club where most members are from the surrounding community. The twins go to small schools where separation is not an option. These moms have loved having twins together. But, it seems like as soon as you get into a system where separation is possible, then everyone thinks it should be done.

So much about raising twins is different (and at times more difficult) than raising a singleton. However, there are some great benefits. Once twins start school, if they are not separated a huge benefit to the family is 1 teacher to deal with, one set of HW, one calendar, etc. Yes, parents of children in different grades do not have this "luxury". But, they do not have twins. Sometimes, the issues are just a little different.

One last thought, I can see why two sets of parents would want to have their children that are best friends placed together for a comfort zone. But, I think deep down each of those parents would be thinking I want this because it is best for my child. In my case, these children are both mine. And as mom, I want what is best for both of my children.

Hope I was able to articulate my thoughts well enough.
--Kristi

 

  

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
Sun, 06-25-2006 - 8:17pm

My person stories. I've had twins in my class before. One set of b/g and


crazy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Mon, 06-26-2006 - 11:35am

I think that your decision should be based in their personalities and relationship. In my experience bb or gg twins, especially identicals have more problems being together. They use their special relationship to play games and sometimes take advantage. The familiarity also can cause more talking, inattention, defensive actions, and accusations.


Most BG twins are more like different age siblings. They have their own interests and personalities. They would probably have different peer groups also. This would seem to indicate that the decision, either way,

Sherry

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 06-26-2006 - 3:16pm
Well I think that the school also has a right to have a say because
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2006
Wed, 06-28-2006 - 9:58pm

Thanks everyone for the input. I am leaning more towards separating, but I will see how this year of pre-K goes. I like the way the separation in kindergarten has been described. They will still be somewhat together. We can see how that works, then either keep separated in 1st or put back together. There are pros to keeping together and separating. However, I think there are only cons when staying together. The cons when separating are things that would be negative for me (and husband). These would be the things that parents of two sibilings in different grades have to deal with all the time. Thanks again for the input.

BTW, can you believe how close we are to school returning. I saw one of my vice principals. He has been out with heart stuff. I asked him if he was coming back to school. He said he is going to try to come back in the fall. August 15 is hardly the fall. I know some schools start even before this.
--Kristi

 

  

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2000
Thu, 06-29-2006 - 2:56pm

Summer is speeding by. August 15 is pretty normal around here, but teachers hate it. Only our schools on alternative calendars go back earlier. I'm half way though a 5 week summer session. It seems like I started yesterday! At last I get five weeks off after I'm done.


Keep us informed about the twins and what you're learning through the experience. I'm sure

Sherry