Question:Can you turn off.......

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Question:Can you turn off.......
7
Sun, 09-26-2010 - 2:15pm

YOUR MATERNAL SWITCH?? What I mean can you give children the "tough love" and "discipline" in your classroom without worrying about how you would feel if it were your child.



So I'm working in a class with 2 other women, the teacher and I are not mothers, the other person is and I notice that the teacher and I aren't "coddlers" but the other woman is.



And it's to the detriment of the children she does this with. They act super spoiled and then run to her because they know they will be babied.



They come to me sometimes but only when they are making positive choices, if they are screwing up, they don't run to me cause well I don't have sympathy for negative behavior regardless of the reasons why.



So I said to her, "you've got to learn to turn off you "mother switch" the button that makes you feel guilty when they cry or think of your own child when they behave in less than a stellar manner and then want to act "very spoiled" when it's time to face a consequence.



Case in point, little girl having a tantrum, the teacher and I would not pick her up, even though that's what she wanted, the other woman, ran over, picked her up cause she couldn't take the crying.



But this child does this alot. A whole lot. So you have to let her just "tantrum" until she comes back to herself and when she does, assist her in following instructions.



The other scenario is a little boy who everyone spoils and coddles and pets, well he's a real spoiled brat and hits and kicks and pushes people for no reason, but runs and hides behind her cause he knows he's wrong and she will pet and hug him even when he's wrong. She does everything for him, and he does not have to be independant so he's not.



Now yes this is a special needs class but they are supposed to be learning some level of independence and she won't allow it because she's too concerned about "how they feel" and "does not want them to feel bad."



I know she means well and is a very helpful person and the children do love her, but she's already creating a "good cop/bad cop" scenario in the classroom.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2006
Wed, 09-29-2010 - 8:11pm

I am just as hard on my students now as I was before I had my daughter.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 5:24pm

"IMHO....a special needs classroom is a place that needs more "tough love" than a regular ed classroom. Most of the kids lack the internal controls and reasoning

Avatar for judy_joey
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 09-28-2010 - 1:30pm

Even with these pregnancy hormones running through my body I can still turn it "off" lol. I'm actually pretty tough on my own kids so having and keeping policies in my classroom isn't too hard for me.



IMHO....a special needs classroom is a place that needs more "tough love" than a regular ed classroom. Most of the kids lack the internal controls and reasoning

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Sun, 09-26-2010 - 11:55pm

Guili said what I was thinking.

Sherry

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2009
Sun, 09-26-2010 - 10:19pm
i can turn it off. im a preschool teacher and i dont baby my 3 to 5 year olds. they can do stuff for themselves and im not their mom. i have class rules and i expect them to be followed. i dont mind giving hugs and helping but when you break a rule you get your time out. second offense you get longer, third offense you lose a center. you have to inforce rules. i have 2 kids and one is developmentally where my class is. if you let the children do whatever and break the rules then your going to have a rough year and your kids wont be ready to move on.
Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

My Magic Mom Button
Photobucket
Avatar for guili12737
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-1997
Sun, 09-26-2010 - 9:58pm
I have three kids. I don't think about the kids in school as if they were my own kids but, I tend to be tough with my own kids too. I don't feel sorry for students in school. I just discipline them as needed. I don't believe most teachers are like the woman you are describing, or a least I haven't seen it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2002
Sun, 09-26-2010 - 2:24pm

I speak from the point of view of someone with no kids, but who believes she possesses a great deal of sympathy for special need kids.



I have to say, I think kids get spoiled enough at home these days without their teacher doing it at school, too.