Stepping in with a question...

Avatar for judy_joey
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Stepping in with a question...
6
Tue, 04-28-2009 - 9:57am

I'm a teacher but a HIGH SCHOOL teacher so I'm of no help to myself!! My daughter *barely* meets the age requirement to start Kindergarten this year...she would be 4 years old her first month of school. We have always thought that we would hold her back a year just so when maturity comes into play in later years (high school) she would be a bit older and have a better chance at being more mature. Although my daughter has had a "typical" development,she has been on the slower side of what is age appropriate. She is quite shy and very cautious to new situations. She is our youngest and honestly she loves every minute of it ;)I've been asking a few teacher friends and I'm getting real mixed reviews....some say they also held their late summer babies back and think they made the right decision and others say they wished that they would have gone ahead and enrolled them - their kids never felt like they belonged and kids teased them about being older saying they must have failed a year. If we do decide to keep her out of the public school this year she would go to a private, church Kindergarten as she is too old for the local preschool - she would repeat Kindy the following year in public school. The private school Kindy is a small group and I'm sure she would gain all of the necessary Kindy skills.....so there is another problem - don't want her to be bored stiff the following year when she is in public school.

Sorry for the LONG, ramble but I'm looking for as much feedback as possible.

Thanks! Judy

Avatar for guili12737
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Registered: 08-23-1997
Tue, 04-28-2009 - 6:01pm

I'm probably not going to help much but this is my experience. In my area cutoff for kdg is Dec. 31. My younger dd has a Dec 15 b-day and was 4 when she started kdg. I always knew I would send her as she was always in a hurry to do things. She was shy but not terribly and she has never had a problem in school and has excelled academically. She is a HS junior now.

My ds has a June b-day and he was always slow to reach milestones being on the tail end of normal for all things. I really debated about sending him to kdg but, I decided to send him with his peers. He has continued to take his time getting where he needs to be. Had a little trouble learning to read, has the worst handwriting you have ever seen and is disorganized and an underachiever. He is very bright but, doesn't like school much. I really am not sure if holding him back would've helped. Sometimes I think yes, and others I think that this is just his personality and he is so bright that he really would've been bored if I held him back.

I'd say go with your gut. It's very common here for parents to "redshirt". If you think she would be better in kdg in a year then wait. Could she go right into 1st grade if she was bored doing kdg the second time?

I think you really just need to go with your gut on this. You know your kid best.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2003
Tue, 04-28-2009 - 11:21pm

I think guili is right that you have to go with your instincts. With that I'd offer a few other considerations. If your daughter is immature and shy the small private school might be a great way for her to open up and build some confidence in the smaller group. Being younger and somewhat shy

Sherry

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2006
Wed, 04-29-2009 - 9:55am
Hi, I am an early childhood educator.
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Avatar for judy_joey
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-30-2009 - 12:26pm

Thanks for your thoughtful response! I had not considered the option of her moving into 1st grade the next year if needed - I'll check with the guidance counselor.

I'm trying to go with my gut but I feel like I'm trying to judge what she will need years down the road....not right now. Right now she would be absolutely fine going into Kindy, I'm just trying to give her the advantage of maturity in later years.

Thanks again!

Avatar for judy_joey
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-30-2009 - 12:37pm

True, the curriculum would be different so she would not know everything - but probably most skills plus some others not needed in public school (religion). I also agree with what you said re: many classes now with large groups and the demands of standardized testing....my older daughter is a very bright 1st grader and landed in a collaborative class this year. I think a lot of the concept (I'm a spec. ed teacher, lol)but I also know that my daughter's teacher spends WAY more time with the students that need the extra help.

I just feel like this is a big decision and I want to make the most informed decision I can, giving my daughter the best possible chance to be successful in school - not just in Kindergarten but through all the years down the road.

Thanks...you gave me a lot to think about!

Avatar for judy_joey
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-30-2009 - 12:44pm

Thanks, I think she would be fine - maybe not gain the full experience but she is quite bright and has most all the basic skills (colors, shapes, numbers 1-20, alphabet)plus she has a big sister which really helps her with social development. I just worry about down the road.....teaching in the high school it becomes really evident the kids who are older in the class and those who are younger. Because she is shy and reserved I don't want her to feel like she needs to be a "follower" and always last to do the age related "milestones". I know age does not necessarily predict her personality but I feel like she will be predisposed in a way being so much younger than the others.

Thanks for your thoughts!