Pregnancy blues or something else?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2009
Pregnancy blues or something else?
9
Wed, 08-26-2009 - 10:36am

Hey ya'll. I'm from the Philippines and i'm due on Feb. 4, 2010. I'm only 19 years old. I found out that I was pregnant just recently and I was already four months pregnant. I was sooo scared to tell my parents. I'm a graduating student and would most probably take up law. I am so scared. I am not yet ready. I'm young AND do not know how to raise a child. I have so many fears. I feel like this is more than the pregnancy blues. Anyway, my parents found out about it. I had no choice but to tell them. They were so devastated, angry, sad, disappointed. My mom was inconsolable and my older brother was so sad. After that, me and my mom went to the doctor, we told her that I just found out recently about the pregnancy. Now, I am worried because I took antibiotics because of my chronic sinusitis, flu, cough and at my first trimester, I took medicines and I smoked.I am so worried on what would happen to my baby, Aside from not being prepared and being lonely, I feel like I have jeopardized my baby's development and health. I need a support group, people, I don't know what to do. My family still can't accept it. Even for me, it hasn't sunk in yet. :'(((

PS The father of the baby wants to be part of the baby's life but my dad doesn't want him to be in the picture.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Wed, 08-26-2009 - 11:51am

Hey, im simone

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2009
Wed, 08-26-2009 - 11:35pm
It's almost 2 weeks since I told them that I was pregnant. My dad doesn't want him in the picture because for him, the guy is no good for me. He'll probably knock me up again and he'll go on and find a new girlfriend to replace me. My dad doesn't want my boyfriend to have any participation, dad doesn't want him to see the baby. You see, my boyfriend's family is not that well off. His brothers are all the same. They got their girlfriends pregnant and right now, they have no work. They rely on their mom for support of their own kids. I am afraid that I would end up like my boyfriend's brother's girlfriends. My boyfriend's mom is the only one who's supporting the whole family right now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2009
Thu, 08-27-2009 - 12:10am
can i be completely honest without trying to seem mean or anything?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2009
Thu, 08-27-2009 - 1:04am
yeah sure. tell me what's on your mind.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2009
Thu, 08-27-2009 - 8:43am
THIS IS YOUR BABY. NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS OR WHAT ANYONE SAYS YOUR THE MOTHER. THIS IS YOUR DECISION. YOUR DAD CAN ONLY GIVE YOU ADVICE BUT UNLESS YOU DONT WANT THE FATHER IN THE BABY'S LIFE THATS THE ONLY REASON HE SHOULDN'T. YOU NEVER KNOW, MAYBE HE WILL STEP UP. LET HIM KNOW THIS ISN'T ONLY YOUR BABY BUT ALSO HIS. IF HE IS SERIOUS ABOUT BEING IN YOUR CHILD'S LIFE THEN HE NEEDS TO STEP UP AND BE THE FATHER. HIS MOM CANT TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING AND ITS NOT HER RESPONSIBILITY TO. ANY JOB WILL HELP. MCDONALD'S, TACO BELL, SOMETHING. I'M NOT TRYING TO JUDGE THE SITUATION AT ALL I'M JUST SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE. IF I DO REMEMBER YOU DID SAY YOU WERE 18 RIGHT. I ADVISE YOU IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY TO GET A JOB. TRY DAYCARE. ITS KINDA EASY PLUS YOU KNOW YOUR HOURS WONT BE TO CRAZY.

I HOPE YOU DONT FEEL LIKE I WAS BEING HARSH BECAUSE I WASN'T. I WAS 18 WHEN I GOT PREGNANT. IT TOOK SOMEONE TO BE STR8 FORWARD WITH ME TO REALIZE AND ACTUALLY LET DH(BACK THEN BF) THAT I WOULD PACK MY STUFF AND HE COULD KISS ME AND MY BABY GOODBYE. WITHIN THE NEXT WEEK HE GOT HIS ACT TOGETHER. I STAYED HOME WITH KERI FOR 10 MONTHS. JUST BECAUSE YOUR BF'S BROTHER DOESNT SUPPORT HIS BABY DONT MEAN YOUR SITUATION WILL BE THE SAME. NOW MY QUESTION TO YOU IS DO YOU WANT THIS BABY? IF YES, DO YOU WANT BABY TO HAVE THE FATHER ALSO? EITHER WAY MAKE A PLAN. BE HONEST WITH EVERYONE INVOLVED. TELL THEM YOU NEED THEIR SUPPORT. IF NONE OF THEM WANT TO BE IN YOUR CORNER YOU HAVE ONE PERSON WHO WILL BE AND YOU KNOW WHERE TO FIND ME. ANYWAY I'M SORRY IF YOU FELT LIKE I WAS BEING HARSH. I WASN'T TRYING TO BE.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2009
Thu, 08-27-2009 - 12:41pm

I completely agree, and i dont think you were being to harsh.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2009
Thu, 08-27-2009 - 1:04pm
ok good because i wouldnt want to seem like a total b word. its just i try to stick with the facts and the reality of the situation.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2009
Thu, 08-27-2009 - 9:18pm

Well for me, if my parents doesn't want the FOB to be a part of my baby's life, it's the least I can do for them. I have done nothing but disappoint and sadden them. i don't want to be hardheaded, you know?But at the same time, I really feel low about this. I pity the FOB. I can really see that he's trying reallllllyyy hard to step up.

*SIGH* i don't know what to do anymore.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2009
Thu, 08-27-2009 - 10:13pm
this isnt your parents baby. your GROWN and your about to have a child. think about what you are doing to your child. you have a father who wants to be in their kids life. not everyone has that. honestly your going to be a parent and your starting off wrong by trying to keep dad out the life for your own selfish needs. i get that you want to please your parents but this is wrong. you wanted my opinion and i gave it to you. if your parents really wanted whats best they wouldnt try to keep dad away. it would be different if he was a some kind of criminal or beating on you but the father has rights. he could take you to court over this. you have to think. anyway the whole thing is just kinda crazy to me. speaking from experience you should really think of what you want. i didnt start a relationship with my dad until i was 15. i resent him and my mom for that. you may not think its a big deal but just ask the girls how many of them have the dad and why or why not. like i said think about your baby and stop being selfish. you want the dad gone to please daddy so maybe they can accept it and be more supportive but if fob loves that baby and he gets legal the judge may favor him
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