Prom and a teen no longer living with us

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2013
Prom and a teen no longer living with us
2
Thu, 04-11-2013 - 4:53pm

I know Prom is the least of my problems but I want to do what is right. My step daughter is 18 and has psychiatric problems as well as being a cutter.

For Christmas, she recieved $100 from my parents so she could buy her prom dress. She was sorting her belongings and threw out 3 of her handbags into the trash because she no longer wanted them. She panicked the next day after the garbage was picked up because she could not find the $100 bill her grandmother gave her for Christmas. Then she stated she accidentally left it in one of the bags she threw out. Then she looked to me to replace the money. I told her she must save up that money and replace it and I need to see it in her bank account. She agreed. A couple of months went buy and she did not have the money. At this point, we all had an arguement over putting up a Craiglist personal ad. She packed her bags and moved into her boyfriends mother's house. This was about 3 months ago. Now it's Prom time. She called us to ask us to sign a premission slip. She still has her things at our place and the address for school. She is unwilling to sit down and talk to us about anything. We took her for her psychiatrist appointment and now that she's 18, she is refusing to take her meds.

She got her boyfriend's mother to pay for her prom dress. His brother paid for thier tickets. I asked her if she replaced the money her grandmother gave her. Her answer is no. She never told his mother that someone already gave her money for the dress. She told us that if we do not contribute to the Prom, his mother (whom we never met) will not meet with us. My step daughter feels that even though she moved out on bad terms, it is our responsibility to make her prom beautiful. She plans to move with thier family to another state after graduation.

Frankly, I have been out of work for a year due to pneumonia. I only started working again 3 months ago and we are still behind in our bills. Her father makes a bit more than minimum wage and her birth mom can barely keep her business a float and lives in another state. We all only get the occassional texts or Facebook posts from this supposed young adult.

So whose responibility is it to pay for her prom? Or is this a new one for the book of etiquette?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2008
Thu, 04-11-2013 - 9:52pm

Hello there, I am sorry to hear the hard time you are having with your step daughter. However, this is a board for Teens who are mothers. so you probably wont get much help here. If you are looking for a board for moms of teens, you can try this board here at our parents of teens board: http://www.ivillage.com/forums/pregnancy-parenting/gradeschoolers-tweens-and-teens/parents-teens

Hope that someone can help you over there!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2013
Thu, 04-11-2013 - 10:30pm

thanks!