18soon2Bmom help

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2008
18soon2Bmom help
Sat, 10-11-2008 - 1:53pm
my name is amberlynn. I just turned 18 and I am now about 3 months and a week or two pregnant. the father has a two year old already. we were together for about 5 months. I told him that I was pregent. two days later he told me that he had feelings for his son's mother again. he is only 19 so I guess I understand his panic. we were still together everyday and talking about baby names and moving in together. I was so happy while he was saying all of this thinking in my had when I first found out I was going to be mom was that I was going to be alone, well this end my fear for the time being so I was getting used to everything and was starting to not panic. two more weeks went by. I thought everything was going so good. he was doing things he has never done before. I started to open up to him and answer the questions he was asking about my last boyfriend who had not treated me very well. everything was going fine, I was so happy for the first time in such a long time and it was not fake so I loved it. out of the blue he calls me and says he is going on the weekend camping trip that we planned with his neighbors with his sons mother. and not to call anymore that he is going to be with her. I thought it was because this is going to be his second child and that he was just panicking. I told myself to let it go, I told him how much I cared for him and loved him. I asked him why. he said it was not my fault. that I was a good person but he was just having this feelings for her again and that he was sorry. I asked him if he was going to be involved with his unborn child. he told me no to do what I wanted, I call him every doc appt I make. he will not pick of the phone so I leave him messages, telling him when and where and what time, I will leave a random one telling him when I am leaving town or when my ex is calling me and starting stuff. that I need the voice mails that my ex is leaving him to take my ex to court again. he knows how scared I am of ex. I still didn't get a reply.
I don't understand how everything went wronged. now my moms boyfriend and are breaking up and I have to find somewhere to go again. I move around so much, but I thought everything would have changed, my mom has cancer and almost died last month. I had no one but her. I cant go complain to her when all I do is help her, she cant walk very well anymore so all my time is devoted to her. I lost my job while she was in the hospital. I don't know what to do. I am scared to know what is going to happen to me and my unborn child. I am trying to keep stronger and find a job again but I don't even know where I am going to be sleeping Tuesday night. I never even finished high school. please I need advice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2008
Sat, 10-11-2008 - 5:59pm

First of all, love the screen name :) My name is Amber, I am getting married in a year to my FOB, his name is Logan. Our son's name is Brennan. I'm 19 and Brennan is 5.5 months.

Wow, what a complicated situation. If you go to Department of Human Services of the Healt Department they can probably help you out a lot, with medical bills, food, shelter, and whatnot. As for FOB...I don't really know what to tell you. Boys are dumb. Hopefully he comes around, and if not you can always take him to court for child support if you want. Good luck and welcome to the board!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Tue, 10-14-2008 - 2:42pm

Hi Amberlynn, my name is Casey (19) I have a 15 month old daughter named Addison and FOB is Greg (19).

Wow. That is a very complicated situation. I am really sorry about your mom, first of all. I know personally I could not have gone through this without the love and support she gave me. The FOB seems like he is not worth your time or effort. I would say try your hardest to get your life on track by getting a job and finding a place to stay. You need to honestly access the situation and figure out if you raising this baby is the right move for you at this point in your life. You could look into an open adoption or a regular adoption to give the baby a great home. This is COMPLETELY your choice though, and don't let anyone talk you into anything. Just a suggestion because I know a lot of people who would love a baby to raise and give a great home to. Just try to figure things out in your life excluding the FOB in case he does not come around. If you need anyone to talk to or anything just let me know.

<3 Casey

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2005
Tue, 10-14-2008 - 3:12pm

Welcome to the board! I'm Haely (21) single momma to my daughter Taegan (20 mo old).

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I really don't have much advice for you, but I'll offer what I have. First off, ditch the FOB (father of the baby). He's not worth the time, or the stress your going thru over him and


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2008
Tue, 10-14-2008 - 5:49pm

I'm Nerissa (21) and my fob and ex-husband is almost 23.

Men really suck sometimes - no matter how old they are. Just forget about him - if he wants to be in the baby's life he will call...

You can definitely do this your self and don't be afraid to get help and lean on other people.

Your mom might be really excited about having a grandchild! My mother certainly was. I try to keep her out of the drama with my ex and it seems to help.

I would suggest finishing school - the state can help you with money for childcare and expenses until you finish. The taxpayers want you to finish so you can get a better job and pay more taxes, so I wouldn't feel guilty about accepting any type of aid you can get.

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