19 year old daughter preggo by a LOSER!!!!

bmbmom

iVillage Member

Registered: 09-22-2005

3	Mon, 10-17-2011 - 10:26am

Hello everyone!! I was a teen mom myself and now I am finding my precious daughter in the same boat. Although she is 19 it is still a huge disappointment. My daughter is smart, beautiful and talented and had such a great "life plan" until she met him. UGH!! They have been together a little over 2 years constantly fighting. He does not care about working, his education and is a LOSER!!! I cannot see him standing by her at all. Recently I've seen bruises on her and of course she has an excuse as to how they got there. I want to support her like my mother did me but I cannot even hear his name without getting sick and angry. The baby I think I can deal with, but her not opening her eyes to this LOSER scares me to death!!!! How do I handle this? Thank you!!

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cheyfri

Community Leader

Registered: 06-22-2008

In reply to: bmbmom

Re: 19 year old daughter preggo by a LOSER!!!!

Mon, 10-17-2011 - 3:10pm

Hello. I'm sorry to hear the situation. However, my sons biological father sounds to be the same as your daughters bf. He never worked, was always out with friends and was abusive. However I was with him two years before I left. First I would say to make sure you are as supportive as can be for her durning this pregnancy, and keep it separate from her bf. It might take a while to earn her trust but it will come. Have you asked calmly and discussed your feeling about the bruises with her? Don't push it. But don't ignore it. Hopefully everything ends up working for the best for your daughter and grand baby.

cmjenas

Moderator

Registered: 05-15-2009

In reply to: bmbmom

Re: 19 year old daughter preggo by a LOSER!!!!

Tue, 10-18-2011 - 11:09am

That's a tough situation. I would let your daughter know that you will always be there to support her and the baby. I would also sit down and talk with her about your concerns about her boyfriend. I'd try to leave the insults out and focus on her (the bruises, the arguing, etc.). Unfortunately, there isn't anything you can do to make her leave him, and putting him down might drive her away or make him feel like he has to keep her from you.

Where is your daughter living? If he doesn't have a job or go to school, where is he living? How far along is she?