Can I join?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Can I join?
9
Sat, 08-30-2008 - 9:01pm

Hi, I'm Jordan I'm 15.I really want to join this board but idk if I'd fit in here or not.about 6 months ago I found out I was pregnant well about 10 weeks later I had a miscarriage. I was devistated my bf really wasn't but he wasn't happy either. I've actaully been denying the miscarriage for a while and recently my peiriod was a week late but it still came and now I want to ask my bf if we can try I know I shouldn't I know i should wait I really plan to. But has anyone else wanted to try. Please don't think I'm going. I plan on waiting but I keep having this urge to ask him and everything that I felt after the miscarriage I'm feeling again because I'm talking about it again. My bf and I are planning on going to college and getting good jobs but right now I just want my baby I want to feel it kick and hear its heartbeat =[

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2008
Sat, 08-30-2008 - 9:08pm

Hi Jordan! First off, I'm SO sorry about your loss, I can't even imagine what you must be going through. Secondly, you are more than welcome here [: There are a couple girls in similar situations to you who could definitely relate, and I'm sure they'll offer you some great advice and be supportive. I'm glad you're trying to be responsible and wait even though you really want another baby. Just think, I'm sure if you wait you'll be able to think everything through and plan everything out, and allow your little one to have such an amazing life [: If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always here.

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pregnancy week by week



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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2008
Sat, 08-30-2008 - 10:03pm

Those are perfectly normal feelings ...

It is an emptiness feeling and everyone gets it after losing a baby (at any stage and whether they were happy about it or not). You want your baby in your arms where they are supposed to be.

Even if you do try again, it is likely that you will still have a bit of an empty feeling, that baby was a part of you and always will be, no matter how little or how much time you got with them.

Did your parents know you were pregnant or did you miscarry before being able to tell them?

Talk with your BF, see how he feels. He probably won't want to "try" but, if he is anything like mine, he wont want to not try either ;)



pregnancy due date


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Sun, 08-31-2008 - 1:22am
No they didn't know yet I was still planning on telling them. I wish he'd talk about it more idk if he is sad about losing the baby or not he doesn't seem like he is but he can hide his feelings pretty well.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2008
Sun, 08-31-2008 - 2:32am

I don't really see my DF upset about losing Annie or the miscarriage in May but I know he is.

Guys have this thing where they think they have to be "tough" for us ... they have to stay strong because they are the guy ... that has been ingrained into them since they were born. Even my gay friends are like that ... they have a penis so they have to stay strong ...

During Annies funeral, Casey didn't cry, he didn't get upset at all that it looked like until he got home, by himself.

After the miscarriage he seemed more mad than anything, mad that it seemed like we couldn't have babies, like something was wrong with us ... but then another wonderful SURPRISE!!! :)

This one seems to be doing good. We never tried, we were worried that it would happen again ... only time will tell.

But ... yeah, sit your BF down and just start talking ... don't ask questions, just talk. Show him that you don't mind sharing your feelings with him, maybe he will open up to you afterwards.



pregnancy due date


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2008
Sun, 08-31-2008 - 4:16am

I know exactly how you feel... Literally lol.

I'm Callie, I'm 15 as well. I miscarried 7 months ago. The sex was "not on my terms", however, I was very attached to my baby as well. I planned on keeping *her*. After losing her there was a short period in time, in which I let my emotions take over and I did TTC with my boyfriend. We did not succeed, and my common sense kicked in soon enough and I realized TTC was not a smart idea at my age. It kills me everyday that I am not pregnant, and I can not be for a very long time, because that's the way society works. I would be due in just a few weeks, and it's really been getting to me.

If you ever need to talk, I am always here.




iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Sun, 08-31-2008 - 9:47am
Oh, I'm sorry about your baby, I asked my bf last night and he said we will when we're older and can support tha baby. I know thats best but it really wasn't what
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2008
Sun, 08-31-2008 - 3:26pm
I know exactly what you mean. I do not want to wait, AT ALL. But deep down, both of us know it's what's best. In our relationship I'm the one that has to step up and say we have to wait, which makes it even harder.



iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Sun, 08-31-2008 - 5:01pm

I'm really kind of happy Andrew doesn't want to try. We've been having a couple problems cuz I've been gettin

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2008
Sun, 08-31-2008 - 8:32pm
I think some of those mood swings just come with the territory of a miscarriage. I have the same problems. I get furious at Abry for absolutely nothing, and I think I kind of resent Abry for the fact that we're too young to have a baby. Which is crazy, I know. But Abry puts up with all of this, and if your bf really loves you, he will too.