i need advice and help please...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2008
i need advice and help please...
6
Wed, 10-15-2008 - 12:18am
well im 18 and i just found out im pregnant. I
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2008
Wed, 10-15-2008 - 12:28am

Welcome to the board, I am Andie :)

First ... schedule a doctors appointment at a local clinic (be it a regular OB clinic or a Planned Parenthood clinic, doesn't matter). They will check to see how far along you are and discuss the risks and benefits of each option with you.

Adoption is a feasible plan if you don't like the thought of abortion. Look in your local phone book in the yellow pages under "Adoption" or look in your local classifieds. I guarantee there is at least one ad there for a place to answer any and all questions about adoption. We also have a couple of young women on this board who can provide answers to a lot of questions for you on this option.

You could also choose to keep the baby. They are a lot of work and pregnancy isn't always the most fun time in the world but at the same time, many teenage mothers make AWESOME mommies, sometimes even better than older mommies :p

Remember, you will have to live with any choice you make for the rest of your life so think everything through. I wish you the best and feel free to post on any thread you want and ask any questions you want as well, we will try to answer to the best of our abilities.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2008
Wed, 10-15-2008 - 12:57am

I'm from Colorado too (sorry I looked at your profile). You most certainly aren't alone! Almost all of the girls I started college with or who I knew from working who were under 22 were married, engaged, or a combination of all of that and had children! I can't really think of that many people our age who didn't have children! You can definitely raise a child economically in Colorado with the rent prices too!

There is really nothing you can't do with having a baby (college, working, dating).

Can I ask what are you afraid of?

I know for me it was always that my life would be ruined and I would end up single and working min wage for the rest of my life. To me that was a life that I could not possibly live - but I know now that isn't how it has to be. Totally ridiculous now but I thought men would think of me as being not as attractive if I was a mother. I was so afraid I couldn't afford it and couldn't manage it (which I am still totally afraid of but am coping better). At the time those feelings felt so valid so painful and now they seem unimportant. Trust me the tissue boxes and walls that heard me screaming and crying along the way knew it was rough. Just so I'm not misunderstood, I'm not advocating abortion but I want to let you know that even if you feel that your feelings are frivolous about being pregnant and that your fears aren't valid - they most certainly are valid and scary to you.

Abortion is a difficult choice and a permanent one that you should carefully think about. The abortion support board can be there for you if you need it. I really think you are here though because you want to know that other women your age and in your situation have chosen to have children and have done it successfully. Don't let anyone pressure you into any decision.

You totally have the power and strength to be a mother and even though it might seem corny it is true. The fact that you are even thinking about whether you are ready for this already indicates that you will be a mother who has embraced her choice to be a mother and raises her child in the most conscientious way she can.

Lilypie Expecting a baby Ticker
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2005
Wed, 10-15-2008 - 1:30am

I agree with Andie, first thing you need to do is get to the doctors asap so they can confirm the pregnancy and find out how far along you are. Do you know when you had your last period?? Abortion is a hard decision and only you can make it. You have to think long and hard about whether your in the position to bring a child into this world. Of course there are always

 BabyFruit Ticker
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Wed, 10-15-2008 - 9:19am

Hi and welcome the the board! My name is Casey and I have a 15 month old daughter named Addison. Are you a senior in high school or freshman in college? I feel like that makes a big difference. I was 17/18 when I was pregnant with Addison and it was hard! It was almost my entire senior year of high school and the first two months of the summer. I was part of the fortunate people who did not have a horrible experience while pregnant in high school. Addison's father and I were dating and had a supportive system of family and friends which made everything really great!

Congratulations first of all for being pregnant! It really is exciting. But like the other girls said there are many options other than abortion. Personally, I am pro-life but also know I could never give my child away. If I was in a position that I literally could not care for my child than I would try to find a family that I knew of that I could do an open-adoption. Good luck with everything. Go see a doctor to give you all the facts. I'm around if you want to talk.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2008
Wed, 10-15-2008 - 4:26pm

well hun. in the end you are the only one that can make up your mind. but you might want to look


into everythin first. i am 18 and everyone wanted me to get rid of it. but i felt i could never live with my self b/c i was already told that i might not be able to have kids and that they are shocked that i even got pregant. so i am just saying look into things. its a life. i think you might want to look in to giving it up for adoption. so many couples try so hard. but look in you area first. to a family that is not rich rich and what not. if i made the choice to give my baby up for adoption i would picked a couple myself and get to know them.. please think about it,


amberlynn


peace

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2008
Wed, 10-15-2008 - 7:33pm
Welcome.. My name is Sabrina, (16) and I am 7 months pregnant.. I am having a little boy.. Well in know how you may feel because when I found out that I was pregnant I freaked... I thought about getting an abortion, but I changed my mind... The reason I changed my mind Is because it was my fault I got pregnant, I couldn't do that to my child..