My story - Family is a MESS :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2012
My story - Family is a MESS :(
Wed, 02-15-2012 - 11:47pm

I'm nearly 19, I have a 2 and a half year old son, I live with my boyfriend/son's father. We both work full time and I think we do really well with supporting ourselves! We've worked very hard to get where we are today, and we still work hard. It's a constant struggle and what happens is childcare is too expensive. We can't pay hundreds every week to have someone watch him so my family is burdened with this. Instead of trying to see it as a good thing like yay you get some with your grandchild, I get to hear how irresponsible I am and how I've messed up our family and added so much stress and such a burden.

I admit I'm not perfect. After my son was born I did act irresponsibly more than I like to admit. I did dump him on family a lot in that first year especially. I just didn't know what I was doing and I was in denial. I got some counseling and outside help and it really helped me a lot. I've taken responsibility for my life and for my son. I rush to my grandma's after work to pick my son up, I rarely ever ask any family to watch him when I'm not working even when I very badly would love some peace and time alone or with my boyfriend. I don't ask for that except on special occasions any more. I leave him with them as little as possible. I can't help that we have to work to live.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2008
Thu, 02-16-2012 - 9:58pm
I am sorry you are dealing with this. I am 19 as well with an almost 8 month little boy and five months along with a little baby girl. I know how hard it can be. I stay home because we don't exactly believe in daycares because ALOT of them up here are miserable places and there are ALOT of accidents, however my fiancé can't work much because he has cerebral palsy so we don't exactly have it the easiest either. My family loves our son and is always willing to help while my fiancés mother and step father do not accept our kids very much at all and his father and step mother on the other hand do. It's hard when people think you are being "stupid" but know that as long as you do what's right for that little one and provide you are doing just great! .
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2009
Mon, 02-27-2012 - 7:28pm
It sounds like you should have a talk with your mom. Does she know you feel this way? I think if you can talk it out with her, you can both get to the bottom of the problems, I think that while she had some right to be disappointed, she also has every reason to be proud of you for stepping up and taking care of your little man, I know a number of teen moms who are still big party-ers, with kids who are three or four years old. They still haven't figured it out, and so the fact that you did, and are working to better yourself, your life, and your son's life is reason enough for your parents and family to be proud.