Behavioral Issues Now?? PLEASE READ AND HELP!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
Behavioral Issues Now?? PLEASE READ AND HELP!
5
Tue, 11-09-2010 - 4:27pm

Ok so DS is 4.5 He's always been this perfect, independent, sweet, friendly angel. He knows everyone in his school. All the teachers give him hugs in the halls. He's never had any problems. He runs down the hall to class and never looks back. He's always gotten excellent reports.

This year he's in Pre-K. Same school, diff teacher, somewhat different kids (there are 3 classes, and every year they switch the kids up

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Thu, 11-11-2010 - 5:57am

I think the first thing I would do is to address the teacher with "What was done at the time to correct their behaviors?"

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2007
Thu, 11-11-2010 - 12:54pm

I think Rita has great advice. I have an older son and have dealt with him having issues behaving in school. Granted, he is MUCH older when he was having the problem, but we've found things that worked for him and now Kayla that may be helpful with your DS.

Kayla hasn't had any problems, but because of the problems we had with her brother, we've talked about the consequences for misbehaving in school. Right now, if she brings home a frowny face, it results in a loss of a privilege, like TV for the day. I think she gets it because her older brother DeVon has had problems with behavior in school and she's seen him go between losing privileges to being grounded, all dependent upon the severity of the problem. After a two year battle, he has finally gotten his behavior better under control and is doing much better in school. Now, it isn't perfect but we can tell he is trying to improve.

Maybe you can try a reward system at home. If he brings home three out of five smiley face he can pick out any flavor of ice cream he wants at the DQ. If he gets more frowny face then smiley face, he loses tv or video game time on Saturday. Every kid has a "currency" and it's just a matter of finding what his is. As my son shows you, it's not a quick fix, but overtime it does have an impact.

I also wanted to add that I think, and this is only my opinion, the problem the teacher is having with your son and the other boys is not that she thinks his behavior is abnormal but that it may be disruptive to the class. Her having to taking the time to discipline the boys when they are roughhousing takes away from valuable class room time. Kayla's teacher is a friend, and that is one of her struggles as well. It's normal for four year olds, but can be difficult to balance.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
Fri, 11-12-2010 - 7:10pm

Well we had teacher conferences this week, and apparently she told all of us (the mom's of the boys) the same thing. "What they are doing is age appropriate." "They can get rowdy and play harder than they should." "we just keep reminding them the class rules and how we don't put our hands on our friends."

Then she says, "He is a very good kid. He's extremely smart, he participates, he's engaging, he has tons of friends." "He just happens to be all boy. And this school year quite a few of them are ALL BOY."

She is so contradictory. He's an amazing kid but he gets frowns b/c he's ALL BOY.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-1999
Thu, 11-18-2010 - 11:53am

Is it an all day program or a 2-3 hour preschool class?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2005
Thu, 11-18-2010 - 6:58pm

It's 9-2. They go outside once a day, and they have PE, music, or "movement" where they learn self control development, in addition to the usual school/table/craft-type of activities and center times where they can choose classroom instructions themselves.

I've just completely downplayed the whole thing and he seems to be doing fine. Taking away his stuff was pointless. He just gets wrapped up with the boys and they get extremely rowdy.