Didn't think she'd be like this...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2005
Didn't think she'd be like this...
11
Wed, 11-04-2009 - 10:39am

until she was 13 or so. Lily is driving me nuts. She is arguing about EVERYTHING. I mean absolutely everything. She will do things just so she can argue about it. Anytime we say something to her that she doesn't like (pick up your toys, its time to eat dinner, etc.) she throws a huge fit, kicking and screaming and sometimes even crying hysterically. I am fed up. I've tried time out, taking things away and spanking her. Spending extra time with her, loving on her, praising her when she's good. Nothing is working. She's even telling me and DH that she hates us and that we are mean to her. The other day she told me that she didn't care what I said or did she was going to do what she wanted. She doesn't want me going to work and will hide when it is time for me to leave or just flat out walk up and smack me. She won't kiss me or hug me except for in the evenings when I get home from work. I am at the end of my rope with her. She's obviously crying out for something. Boundries, love, attention? I don't know, but nothing I try is working. Sigh.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2005
Wed, 11-04-2009 - 12:13pm

WOW .. that IS a lot to take from a 3 year old ... clearly something's not right .. but sadly, I don't have any suggestions. I will offer (((HUGS)) but know that a cyber hug doesn't help you out tons. :-(

Hopefully someone else will come along with some great advice!!! Hang in there .. kids are constantly going through phases and seasons of life .....

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 11-04-2009 - 1:59pm

I'm actually wondering if it's a stage b/c I was just talking to DH last night about how I'm at my limit with Nathaniel. He has to argue about every single thing I ask him to do & whines & complains about cleaning up 2 little toys. He'll lie about it or go & clean something else up instead. I think it's just time for me to crack down b/c I think I've been letting him get away with too much.

So my advice will be to stay constant with your expectations & punishments & hopefully we'll break through this stage!

(((Hugs))) b/c it is SOOO not fun!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2006
Wed, 11-04-2009 - 4:33pm
Do you think it's a reaction to the baby? She's not getting all the attention anymore, and she doesn't like it?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-1999
Wed, 11-04-2009 - 5:12pm

She looks so sweet in all your pictures, I don't know if I believe you!

Is all the time or does there seem to be some triggers? Does it happen more when she is tired or hungry? I've learned that there are some times of day that I am going to get a reaction like that no matter what is going on, and other times Joey is great. Michael is almost 10 years old, and between 4pm and dinner time I get that kind of reactin when I ask him to do his homework or anything, unless I give him a snack first and let him relax for a minute after school. Once that food kicks in and his blood sugar levels out he is a completely different person.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Wed, 11-04-2009 - 5:49pm

Lorie, I totally understand. I have been going through something similar with Sammie just in the last week. And it's really confusing to me because she's always been my sweetheart, the "good"one. Now she is like baby PMS on wheels. Like you, I've tried approaching it from all angles. Even at this very moment, she is lying on her bedroom floor screaming at all of us because "no one is playing with me!!! no one likes me!!! Ahhhhhhh!!! Uhhhhhhh!" for absolutely no reason. It is total insanity.


I have vague memories of doing this crap to my mom when I was little. I have a snapshot memory of myself standing in the kitchen, hands on hips, yelling up at my mom and getting major attitude (about what, I don't know). I can remember throwing huge fits in my bedroom for no reason.


This HAS to be a phase. Pray for patience and wisdom!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2005
Thu, 11-05-2009 - 1:34pm
Thanks Sandra. I keep repeating this too shall pass, LOL! :)


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2005
Thu, 11-05-2009 - 1:43pm
Thanks Tiffany. I guess it must be a stage. The longer I'm a mother the more I grow to hate stages. (((HUGS))) back at you because if you are as frustrated as I am you need them. :)


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2005
Thu, 11-05-2009 - 1:53pm
Claire, I honestly don't know. I guess it could be. I expected her to have some issues the first month or two and she did have a couple of little things but for the most part has been wonderful about it all. She is so loving towards him and is very proud to be a big sister. Everywhere we go she has to tell the people we see that she is a big sister and this is her little brother. I just don't know.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2005
Thu, 11-05-2009 - 2:03pm

Holly- She does look like a total angel doesn't she? LOL! I'm always telling her to push in her horns and pull out her wings.

The only thing I've noticed about time is she tends to be more affectionate in the evenings. She will cuddle and tell me that she loves me etc in the evenings where she won't in the morning. She is crankier in the evenings and tends to throw the tantrums more which I am sure it is because she is tired. I can usually tell when Lil needs to eat because like Michael she gets cranky and just generally tends to go off the deep end. She's been like that from the beginning.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2005
Thu, 11-05-2009 - 3:25pm
Jamie you have totally just described Lily. I may have to steal the baby PMS on wheels, LOL! I guess it must be a phase. She has always been so good. This behavior throws me for a loop. I will have to pray. It is either God gives me more patience or I strangle her. She's too darn cute to strangle, so... I'll add you and the other mommies in there dealing with this insane behavior too. :)


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