Discipline

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2006
Discipline
6
Fri, 06-02-2006 - 12:51pm
I could use some ideas from you Moms with older kiddies - my 5and a half year old has got to the you can't make me stage - she is very strong willed and my usual methods of discipline aren't working - we use time out and taking away things!! Any ideas on what else I can try - when I Put her in time out she just yells you hate me !! I have two older boys - one of whom is also strong willed but he hates to lose things so this was never a problem - she just won't let on that she cares and will continue to push for her own way!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2006
In reply to: mom24blessings
Fri, 06-02-2006 - 1:20pm
I am in the same boat.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2005
In reply to: mom24blessings
Fri, 06-02-2006 - 1:36pm

Part of it may be having a new baby in the house. She's just retesting the limits and making sure she still gets attention--even if it's negative. Is there any particular thing she really loves or wants? Sometimes using those items helps more than the general stuff. For my extremely strong willed daughter, we found that taking things away doesn't matter to her in the least UNLESS it's some privelege she really, really wants at the moment. (And it changes from day to day, of course!) What has worked so much better with her is offering rewards for good behavior. When she was younger (7 now), we had a sticker chart with prizes at the end of each row that she had chosen. Her choices were totally not what I expected--a frosty from Wendy's, a cantaloupe, go to the park, new crayons, etc. And the funny thing was that she didn't put the stickers on in order to get to the prize...it was like the sticker and knowing she'd eventually get something was enough for her. Now that she's older, we have a chart on the fridge where she gets to add a check mark for doing certain things and gets them taken away for misbehavior. She can trade her check marks for tv or computer time or some small treat.

I don't know that any of that will help, but know you aren't alone in the world of strong-willed children :-) Good luck--
Amie


Avatar for dawn_98
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2006
In reply to: mom24blessings
Fri, 06-02-2006 - 1:38pm

If you're looking for some good discipline ideas, I highly reccommend getting a book called "Love and Logic" by Dr's Fay and Cline. I have used ideas from this book time and time again with my children. It works so well. The best thing is it has helped me be calm even when the children act up. They even have a video out about Love and Logic, there are also classes that grade schools, or the community, teach about Love and Logic. I think it's one of the best ways to discipline children.

Dawn
DS-7, DD-5, DD-2, DD 6 weeks

Dawn, DS-12, DD-10, DD-7, DD-5, DD-2, and EDD 11-11-11
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2006
In reply to: mom24blessings
Fri, 06-02-2006 - 5:38pm
I second the "love and logic" principle. We give our 2 year old an ungodly amount of choices and it seems to really help as does the staying calm. I've not seen the video, but I hear it's really good.
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Avatar for dawn_98
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2006
In reply to: mom24blessings
Fri, 06-02-2006 - 5:54pm

I failed to mention, there's also a Love and Logic website...

www.loveandlogic.com

Dawn, DS-12, DD-10, DD-7, DD-5, DD-2, and EDD 11-11-11
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-23-2005
In reply to: mom24blessings
Fri, 06-02-2006 - 6:40pm

It sounds like you are doing the right thing by being consistent.

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