WWYD?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
WWYD?
7
Mon, 06-21-2010 - 1:27am

My grandparents send the kids a box or two every 3 or so months.

siggysummer2009.jpg picture by briansillywife

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2006
In reply to: briansillywife
Mon, 06-21-2010 - 10:19am
Kelly, We are reading the book "Boundries with Kids" right now (Townsend and Cloud) and they are big on reality consequences, starting young (the idea it's best to teach reality at a young age when it hurts rather then let them experiance it older when it is downright painful).

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2005
In reply to: briansillywife
Mon, 06-21-2010 - 11:46am

I am sooo thankful for both of you posting!!!

 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2006
In reply to: briansillywife
Mon, 06-21-2010 - 1:22pm
I would probably make Lana wear other footwear for a few days, sneakers or old shoes, to show her the consequences. Then, once the behavior dictates, get her a new pair, and perhaps make her earn the Jibbitz back slowly as well.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2005
In reply to: briansillywife
Mon, 06-21-2010 - 2:04pm

When Lily has done things like this I have made her live with what she's done. Lily has broken things when she has been mad. I've made her do without the item because IMHO she had to learn the consequence of tearing her things up. I'd make her wear the ruined crocs or other old shoes for a while. At least two or three weeks. If I only did it for a couple of days the impact wouldn't be that big of a deal for Lily. She'd just wait the two days and then have her stuff back. It would be worth it to her. I've found that natural consequences are the best way for Lily to learn. I can "punish" her all day long but if she is uncomfortable because she refused to wear the right kind of shoes for the activity, refuses to have her hair brushed so she has to stay home instead of going out, or doesn't have her water wings like her cousin because she chose to poke holes in hers when she was mad that sticks in her mind and makes a difference in her behavior and her decisions in the long term.

Another thing I did to show Lily how lucky she is we went through her toys & stuffed animals and pulled out ones she didn't play with or want anymore. Our local police department takes donations of gently used stuffed animals and things like barbie dolls and matchbox cars to give to children when they encounter them on calls and when they go to pull children from homes to be put in DHS care. We boxed them up and took them down to the police station. The public relations officer was there and he talked to her about how he appreciated her bringing them in and how so many kids don't have things like this and how they'll make kids feel better when they are scared or confused about what is going on. That was a year ago and she still talks about how she helped kids. I think it was the combination of the police station and the police officer that really helped it stick out in her mind. You might see if there is something like this in your area.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2005
In reply to: briansillywife
Mon, 06-21-2010 - 6:31pm

OK - I am going to respond before I read any of the other responses...knowing how similar K is to C, I would say the first was an accident. The second was a "science experiment". At this age, they are experimenting with so much, and are still really curious. You and I both encourage it - hey, we do experiments in my physics class about how much force it takes before a string breaks - I think at this age, they sort of get caught up sometimes in the world around them that they do something destructive, and even if we take it as malicious, it was not meant that way -

I don't know that the old shoes would work - I usually have a tough time getting my kids to get rid of their old shoes...I would have a talk with her about taking good care of her stuff, but not go overboard or you will curb her desire to explore her world around her - (ETA - I would also have her wear the broken ones - I love the idea of consequences - we are very big on that because as a teacher it is obvious how many students were never taught that by their parents!)

I think that if she was a different kid, I may feel differently, but I am answering it as if C did it - Just my opinion -s

  

 




Edited 6/21/2010 6:36 pm ET by krassta

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2005
In reply to: briansillywife
Mon, 06-21-2010 - 6:36pm

ugh .. first .. can't believe that she *could* break a new pair of crocs .. they seem like indestructible shoes! haha!!

I hate deciding how to discipline! I agree learning lessons at a young age is the way to go for sure!! You've gotten great advice and I certainly wouldn't go out and buy her a brand new pair .. but once she's earned the privilege of new shoes - then maybe.

I had a discipline moment with Koben (9.5) today and I have SUCH a hard time with what to do with him for smaller infractions - like I wouldn't give him a pat on the rear or hand, OR sit him in time out, KWIM. :-/ Like today ... he plays and rough houses with Brantzen .. and they are both having fun .. and then after a bit .. he gets frustrated when B won't immediately stop - so he'll gently 'shove' him, or do something like that, KWIM? Koben would NEVER purposefully 'hurt' anyone .. but his tone and such is ugly at times and I'm never sure how to discipline that - so any suggestions for me are welcome! :-)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
In reply to: briansillywife
Tue, 06-22-2010 - 2:27am

Stacey I think you hit the nail on the head!!

siggysummer2009.jpg picture by briansillywife