accidental shame = PT i need help

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
accidental shame = PT i need help
10
Fri, 06-18-2010 - 3:06pm

we accidentally shamed lara into wanting to use the toilet. my friend and i thought itd be so cute to take a picture of lara and her new baby brother both in just diapers...she lost it and demanded clothes and particularly shorts. then throught talking with her animals it was clear she was embarassed to be like a baby and a few days earlier she had seen her close friend pee in the grass outside.

so we put underwear and shorts on her and she chose which potty to use and she chose potty chair and we decorated it in stickers (cause she asked for a pink potty we had a brown one so...)

then for 3 hours she was either saying she had to pee and pulling her shorts and underwear down and sitting or i was saying i had to and we'd go. and no pee.

then finally she says i peed and we run and put her on it and a little more pee comes...the first time ever.
then since it was bedtime i decided to put pull ups on (dont use those usually either) and within 10 minutes she was like i peed and there was a ton in there (and i wasnt able to watch her in that time or encourage her to sit mroe cause baby was crying)

and now im not really sure what im supposed to do. most potty training sites seem to be aimed at much younger children and arent really relevant to her.

and i wasnt particularly ready either...is it ok to put pull ups when she sleeps ? and how much am i supposed to ask her do you have to pee--i dont wanna drive her crazy? and we have to take her to dentist tomorrow..am i supposed to put underwear or diaper??

im particularly curious about those who waited til the BB asked cause i think its prolly a little different when its asked by the kid then when the parent asks kid to do it....

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2004
Fri, 06-18-2010 - 7:01pm
I wouldn't worry about "Shaming" her. It's not like you called her a baby and were taunting her ;)
Kiara actually started last summer, but was not officially really ready until this summer. She usually just goes to the potty or tells me right when she has to go, but I always make sure she goes before a nap or if we are leaving to go somewhere. I still make her wear a pullup to bed although she has been waking up dry. I would just tell her that pullups are only for bedtime and nap time just in case you don't wake up in time and go potty in them, then the bed doesn't get wet. She'll get the hang of it soon! GL!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-25-2008
Fri, 06-18-2010 - 9:22pm

I would put her in whichever she prefers. If she says underwear, ask her every 20-30 minutes if she has to go (I sometimes ask my DD every 5 minutes and she gets sooooo annoyed with me!) and bring spare clothes in your bag. Don't forget a plastic bag to put the wet ones in.

She will probably have an accident, but she's going to have accidents when she is learning...no matter when the learning happens (early or later).

Actually, I've heard that you have better luck if you don't ask them if they need to go, but TELL them "okay, time to use the potty". This did not work with my DD - she would throw a complete fit and wet herself right there before we could even leave the room. So I had to let her figure it out for herself and she had lots of accidents and was eventually embarrassed by them because none of her friends ever had accidents (I still haven't told her that her friends still wear diapers, lol)

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wooo Siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Sat, 06-19-2010 - 3:03am

oh that is really funny about the friends still wearing diapers :))

she woke up completely dry after 12 hour sleep...after breakfast peed a little in underwear told me and then did a bit more in the potty...but i know there is a gush load waiting...and the suspense is killing me. i dont care where she pees i just wanna see what happens.

great idea about bringing a plastic bag--i wouldnt have thought of it. great timing with two kids as if my diaper bag wasnt full enough. the other one poops through 5 diapers in a few hours!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2009
Sun, 06-20-2010 - 4:58pm

I wouldn't worry about shaming Lara.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Mon, 06-21-2010 - 8:09am

oh my god this is not fun!! she doesnt want diapers but doesnt want to sit on potty half the time either. and everyone says once oyu put underwear oyu hsouldnt go back (we did for a while yesterday cause she was having a temper tantrum about something else...and then she started asking for her high chair which she hasnt used in months (i guess wanting to be a baby) im wondering how long this is gonna take. i thought it was supposed to be quick if the kid decides...

and now i cant send her to school...they teach potty training at schools here but obviously she cant start in the middle...and i was looking forward to sending her next week :(

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2009
Mon, 06-21-2010 - 11:31am

Oh no...I have no advice.....


I wonder if there is anyway to reason with her?

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-29-2006
Mon, 06-21-2010 - 2:59pm

My oldest started PT at around 18 months and it took him until a little after 3 to fully master it.

MomandKaitlyn
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2006
Wed, 07-07-2010 - 9:14pm

Have you tried a sticker board?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2006
Sat, 07-10-2010 - 2:25pm
very stubborn! but she does like trying -just not good at making it--so i shouldve forced her at 2? of course then she refused to sit on potty at all and was terrified of it...
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-15-2006
Sat, 07-10-2010 - 10:43pm

No, I think you were right not to force it.

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