Help Wanted (Job description inside)

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2007
Help Wanted (Job description inside)
Sun, 02-28-2010 - 8:44pm

PARENT - Job Description


This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way,
I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!!


POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop


JOB DESCRIPTION :


Long term, team players needed, for challenging,
permanent work in an
often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required..


RESPONSIBILITIES :


The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
pack mule
and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from
the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects..
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst..
Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and
janitorial work throughout the facility.


POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :


None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you


PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :


None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.


WAGES AND COMPENSATION :


Get this!

lori010910.jpg picture by lambball