QoTD: 3-2

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2007
QoTD: 3-2
8
Tue, 03-02-2010 - 7:14am
What would (or do) you do when you see someone doing something parenting wise that you just dont agree with?

lori010910.jpg picture by lambball

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2004
In reply to: cl_lambball
Tue, 03-02-2010 - 8:19am

I usually don't say anything, unless the child is in danger (from either negligence or "over disciplining"), or harming my child.


It's funny you posted this--I just had this conversation with my mom.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2004
In reply to: cl_lambball
Tue, 03-02-2010 - 10:32am

I doubt I would ever say anything. I've wanted to many times-but never thought it was my place. The only time I will say anything to a child that isn't mine is if what they are doing is harmful to me or my children. My neighbor (ex-friend) was always correcting the other kids in the neighborhood & I could tell that the other mom's just didn't appreciate it (me neither).

Several times I've thought about calling the police when I've seen kids in cars without being restrained-but have never done it...

-Laura


DD 1/24/05

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2004
In reply to: cl_lambball
Tue, 03-02-2010 - 11:47am
I pretty much feel the same way. If it were harming the child or my child then I would say something. I have two close friends that I don't totally agree with on how they raise their children. One couple yells at their children all the time. I feel so bad for the children so what I do, instead of sticking my nose in their parenting style, I give their children a lot of encouragement and hugs when I see them.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-10-2007
In reply to: cl_lambball
Tue, 03-02-2010 - 1:00pm
I am very non-confrontational, so I wouldnt say anything unless someone was in danger.

lori010910.jpg picture by lambball

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
In reply to: cl_lambball
Tue, 03-02-2010 - 1:33pm

I am also a very non-confrontational person although I am speaking up more the older I get.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
In reply to: cl_lambball
Tue, 03-02-2010 - 3:22pm

This question brings up a sore point for me. When I first quit my job to SAH I met a group of friends and we would hang out all the time. At that time the kids were 2.5 and 6 mos, or thereabouts, and the discipline styles didn't really matter.

As the kids got older (especially the older ones) it became hairier as the differences in parenting styles started to come out. I found myself having to explain my own parenting choices to Connor. He'd ask me "why can so-and-so climb on the furniture?" or "run screaming in the restaurant" and so on, and then the other kids started getting pretty nasty toward him and the parents never reprimanded them. In short, there was a falling out with a few friends and I stopped hanging out with them...but I never confronted them about the real reason (the lack of proper boundaries for their kids). I didn't see the point; they'd get defensive and nothing would come of it.

At this point, I prefer to have a few close friends whose parenting styles match my own. I do still have one friend who is pretty lax with her kids but when we get together I just leave her kids be and let her handle them, unless they're in danger. It's not my business to parent someone else's children, and I'm not interested.





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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2002
In reply to: cl_lambball
Wed, 03-03-2010 - 8:24pm

I don't say anything. I would be appalled if someone in a grocery store said something to me so I wouldn't do it to anyone else.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2004
In reply to: cl_lambball
Thu, 03-04-2010 - 11:29am
Oh, boy, Wendi. With that Wal-mart incident, I would have said something to the little girl like, "Watch out, sweetie, you could fall out and get hurt." Something like that to the little girl, not the Mom. I would say it loud enough so that the Mom would hear it too but never confront a Mom to "watch her more closely". Things happen and when you are distracted with something else and are clearly not seeing something that you should, I would have no problem with another parent stepping in to assist me in something that I am missing that could really hurt my child.
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