Miss you! Opinions? (=

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2004
Miss you! Opinions? (=
Thu, 07-01-2010 - 9:36pm

Hi everyone! Sorry I have been MIA. Trent is growing like a weed. Every morning it seems he is an inch taller. (= I miss you all and I need to get to DS! Sorry for being a bad friend! How has everyone been?

Can I have your opinion on something? *sigh* I feel like a horrible person even asking for opinions so no judging :P I do want honest opinions though. (= (Irena, I know I can count on you!)

As some of you might remember, Adam proposed when little Trent was in the oven. He said, "You know you're going to have to marry me," and I said, "Sure. As long as I get to pick out the ring." Then he took out a box and said, "Oh, I thought this one might do." My heart melted and the ring was beautiful but then he was more of a ring his mom gave me so I picked out a different one that is more of a wedding band. We were poor so I figured I would just have one ring until our 10th anniversary.

Well, DH has done the sweetest thing ever. He was really annoying me because he kept going to look at magic cards and talking about spending all this money on them. I just had to buy 3K of training which was money saved up for my TEETH implants. (=

It turns out he was going to a jeweler and making me a custom engagement ring. We were discussing finances and it came out that he has already bought the band and just needs to buy the diamond. He wanted to surprise me for our first anniversary since I never had an engagement ring. That is super sweet right? He did all this research into diamonds and saved up for months in secret. All this time I thought he was spending crazy money on magic cards! I should love it and wear it no matter what it looks like or how well it goes with my existing ring, right?

*deep breath* This is a tricky one! (= He learned at Christmas that I don't like jewelry surprises.. :/

Are the men suppose to pick it out?

Thanks in advance! I miss you all and hope you'll also let me know what is going on with you, etc. (= *smooch*


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2004
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 10:24am

When Tom and I were talking about marriage and of course rings (!) I was pretty specific and told him what I wanted. We visited a couple jewelry stores and I tried on things that I liked, pointed out things I didn't like. So he had a pretty good idea as to what I wanted (and what I didn't want).

There are a few things that he has given to me that I just really don't like, but I will wear them b/c I know he picked them out and he was so proud! LOL. I would never tell him that I didn't like them b/c I wouldn't want to hurt his feelings.

When it comes to something like an engagement (or wedding) band that you are going to wear for the rest of your life...I would hope you would at least like it. Have you seen the ring/setting? Is it something you think you could at least live with for a few years then in a couple of years (say for your 10 year anniversary) get something different?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 4:47pm


I think if he's working with a designer, that it will probably be pretty nice. It's so amazingly thoughtful of him to do this. Now, if the ring turns out not to be your "cup of tea"... I'm thinking you'd better change your cup of tea. Because this is going to be the most personal, 'him' thing he's ever given you.

This is one of those things that, should you criticize, even a teeeeeny tiny bit, it will be one of those forever remembered hurts in your relationship. This is a biggie.

Getting married means just accepting a lot of things... many of them a WAY bigger PITA to live with than the design of a ring. As long as it doesn't hurt when you wear it, you'd better wear whatever this is.

Even if it's a tiny tarantula with a diamond butt. Even if it's a little golden snake hatching from a silver egg.... ha ha, he probably wouldn't do that, right? Right?

Anyway, that's my advice - you can take it or leave it. IMO, marital harmony will be better if you do. :) Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2004
Fri, 07-02-2010 - 7:12pm

haha love you guys! I decided that I was more stressed about the financial discussion that brought it up than the ring itself. I love him and it came out of love so therefore I love the ring. (=

By the way, I resigned from my job today effective immediately which makes every part of my life better. (= I think that was the issue deep down, not the ring.

love you guys!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-06-2006
Sat, 07-03-2010 - 10:36pm

Wo! Holy cow Morgan! That's big news!

I hope you are feeling better now. Cleansing your life of toxins is always therapeutic. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2003
Tue, 07-06-2010 - 9:45am

For me this issue would be more financial and less esthetic, but that's just the way I think.

Do we have enough money RIGHT now to splurge on a ring?

Did we agree on the budget together?

Is any portion of our financial wellbeing going to suffer because of this purchase?

But since he bought it by saving "his" own money (and not buying magic cards instead) I'd say he deserves cudos for both fruggalness and romantic idea. Women would KILL for a husband who makes them custom made jewelry. It doesn't matter what it looks like - think of it as a piece of art, not piece of jewlery. If he painted a picture for you, you'd hang it in the livingroom no? And you would NEVER ever tell him that it's not your style, taste or that you don't like the colors.

Over the years I've gotten some UGLY jewlery (then again I hate yellow gold so instantly if it's yellow I'm like - ickkk). Once I returned a Christmas gift from dh (ugly ring with crazy stones). He never let me live it down. He mentions every time how "he can't get me anything

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2003
Tue, 07-06-2010 - 9:46am
Oh wow, I just see the update message! Quitting your job!!! I thought things were going so much better there. I guess not. Well good for you. Life is way too short to spend it being miserable. With your background I'm not worried about you at all - you'll be just fine :).

Irena2copy-1.png picture by may_sunshine2004

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2004
Fri, 07-09-2010 - 11:46pm

I think an engagement ring is the one thing we should NOT have control over. It is something you are going to wear all your life, but, it's a *gift* which represents something beautiful. It is something that comes from good intentions and love. How could it ever be ugly? Even if it's a yellow (GASP!) gold tarantula pooping out a diamond like Kara suggested.

An engagement ring is not a reflection of the woman who wears it, but rather, the representation of the love of the person who gives it. I have a feeling that no matter what that ring looks like, you're going to love it. The guy gave up a ton of Magic cards for you!

Now, I may be going over the line here for this folder (though it does say OPINION in the thread title), but I think it's gauche for a girl to pick out her own engagement ring. When friends of mine tell me they picked the ring themselves, I just think - UGH. Let the guy pick the ring for you! Dang! I mean, it's one thing to drop hints about what you like, and totally another to be sitting there in the store while it's being ordered. ***shivers***

But, I'm also a fan of the guy having a ring AT the proposal. It shows that he's been thinking about it and I like the idea that Ted sweated it out at several jewelry stores trying to figure out what I'd want.

Mine didn't come in the little blue box I'd hoped for in my dreams, but still, it's perfect.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2004
Mon, 07-12-2010 - 4:20pm

haha thanks! I was just a turd. It is a very traditional ring and it was so thoughtful of him. I will love it for what it represents and hopefully he will love my 1 year anniversary rap just as much. (= Can you believe it is this weekend?!?? (=

I knew when he caught the squirrel that was stuck in the pipe and released it, that he was the one. Hopefully I show him how much I love him as much as he deserves it!