August Already DYK

Community Leader
Registered: 10-16-2007
August Already DYK
2171
Mon, 08-01-2011 - 6:27am

Hi friends - love the dialogue happening. Let's keep it up!

Michelle

Mom to Addison (8) & Gabriel (5)

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Community Leader
Registered: 10-16-2007
Thu, 08-25-2011 - 12:32am
LOL at you killing a weed, Karen. My sod is still alive, so there is hope for me yet! The grass out front that Gordon is trying to kill is touch and go still. I have to hand water it with a hose, and it's a pill because to get to the faucet to turn it on, I have to go out the back and around the corner, then run out front. Maybe I should start cutting through the neighbor's driveway to make it less work. Yes, our houses are that close together. It's still a pain though because of the distance I have to lug the hose. But none of this would be an issue if DH fixed the @#$% sprinklers!

Michelle

Mom to Addison (8) & Gabriel (5)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2005
Thu, 08-25-2011 - 12:34am
Oh I forgot! I need help.

Lily was not very physical as a toddler. She gave us some trouble, but very little overall, considering all the drama of her colic and my postpartum when she was an infant.

Now there is Brady. He has started hitting. He full on slapped me across the face hard today (it actually stung) when I told him he could not go upstairs by himself. He tried to hit my face twice more in the following 10 minutes when "No" came up. He has been hitting some of the other kids during confrontations, but today he stepped it up. So far I have handled it by getting down and looking him in the eye and telling him very firmly "No you may not hit" in a low voice showing my serious face. You have to show the serious face because he stares you down to look for the slightest grin, etc. I have tried to be consistent.

He is too young for a time out, but we need to step up the discipline and I am not sure what to do.

Ideas?
-Karen
Lily 07.01.06
Brady 12.05.09
Community Leader
Registered: 10-16-2007
Thu, 08-25-2011 - 12:38am
Hooray for closure on the refi though, right? Sorry, I don't have many ideas for your next project. Refi - done. Investment reorg - done. I'm thinking something financial? A wizardly configuration of kids college savings plans with the money you're saving with the refi? Better idea...I can ship you my laptop and you can get MY financial A$$ straightened out! LOL Seriously though...I'm not a software and administrative dummy. I just need to set aside a day free from billable work and figure it out!

Michelle

Mom to Addison (8) & Gabriel (5)

Community Leader
Registered: 10-16-2007
Thu, 08-25-2011 - 12:40am
Ugh. Sorry Laurie! That's nerve-wracking. I hope that girl is ok!

Michelle

Mom to Addison (8) & Gabriel (5)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2005
Thu, 08-25-2011 - 12:51am
Michelle, don't be too hard on yourself. This stuff is not rocket science, but organizing our finances literally took me 7 months. It is incredibly time consuming and I make things more complicated than they usually need to be, but still who has the time for even a "simple" organization.

You read my mind about the kids' accounts (or lack thereof). I want to contribute to a monthly account for them (i will have to make up Lily's lost time). I had considered a 529 but had not done it and then 2008 happened. I read more articles that said that all the promises of 529's were best case scenarios, so when the market tanked, all the promises were yanked. Now I am not sure what to do. So I think I am going to start building custodial accounts and when I see a financial adviser, I will see what he/she says.
-Karen
Lily 07.01.06
Brady 12.05.09
Community Leader
Registered: 10-16-2007
Thu, 08-25-2011 - 12:51am
Oh gosh...welcome to the world of boys! Gabe is so much more physical than Addison was. I think it comes with the territory. It started with hair pulling, a little bit of hitting...and then the biting, which was the worst. I think you're doing the right thing. It sounds like the hitting thing is him just experimenting with his emotions, but it can quickly escalate to the other physical issues. when they get to the biting stage, it's more about teaching them to communicate...so there are things you can do to help ward that off at the pass. Teaching him to say, "no," "mine," "back up." So then he doesn't use physical methods to communicate and instead uses his "words." But the hitting thing is a lot easier to deal with, I think. He's just looking for a reaction. I found a funny article about that...I'll look for it.

Michelle

Mom to Addison (8) & Gabriel (5)

Community Leader
Registered: 10-16-2007
Thu, 08-25-2011 - 12:54am

Here was the link...hope it helps!

http://www.ivillage.com/hitting-when-your-toddler-hits/6-n-146051

Edited to say, I thought this was the most helpful (and true) part!

Toddlers are fascinated with what they can make happen over and over and they are also curious about how people react in different situations. Hitting people satisfies both of these interests. Furthermore, toddlers see the world only from their own point of view and therefore don’t understand that other people have different ideas and feelings than they do. "If hitting you is fun for me, I expect that it is fun for you, too." They are often very surprised at first when they hit, bite or push someone and that person cries. Sometime they continue to hit, just to see if they will get the same reaction every time and from different people.

Michelle

Mom to Addison (8) & Gabriel (5)

Community Leader
Registered: 10-16-2007
Thu, 08-25-2011 - 1:05am
Oh, that's good to know about the 529s, Karen. Thank you! G and I have been talking about what we're going to do with the extra income from my business and decreased daycare expenses after we get our massive CC bills paid off. I was thinking 529s. I look forward to your continued guidance on this!

Michelle

Mom to Addison (8) & Gabriel (5)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2005
Thu, 08-25-2011 - 1:17am
Thanks for the article. It had some good suggestions. He is definitely looking for reaction. That is why he stares at you for so long after (minutes). I am sometimes able to tell him "gentle pets for mommy" which is what we used to say when he pet the cat too hard - "gentle pets for gray.". He understands that (due to a few cat scratches that he deserved) and when he is just excited and loses control, the "gentle" statement gets through to him. But when he is mad, he is knows it is not gentle. At least the biting seems to have stopped since his latest word spurt. Boys.
-Karen
Lily 07.01.06
Brady 12.05.09
Community Leader
Registered: 10-16-2007
Thu, 08-25-2011 - 1:34am
LOL...totally a toddler boy thing. At G's daycare, they say, "gentle touches." The biting thing was way better until he got into a new class with a biter. Ugh. But we've been working with him at home on using his words rather than biting, and it's gotten better! We've had our same issues with the cats...that's where it started. Thank goodness one of ours is tolerant and the other runs when she sees him. He's gotten his share of scratches from the tolerant one, but he is learning.

Michelle

Mom to Addison (8) & Gabriel (5)

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