before I BLOW!?!?!
My Mom called me to talk about Thanksgiving.
Oh Christol, my heart really goes out to you. I can't imagine having to try and navigate a parent's grief along with your own. Maybe she is just feeling all of this because of the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday. Perhaps if she had a few days to just deal with her feelings, maybe then you could approach her about decorating for Christmas. How about after Thanksgiving you suggest that she bring out some of her decorations for Christmas, as opposed to all of them. Maybe she could even involve the grandchildren in the decorating part. I realize that this shouldn't be your burden to deal with right now, but I think that sometimes we have to take on things we aren't obligated to so that we can help those that we love.
I have found that there are many things I can do that help make my dad's life easier and I am glad I can do whatever to help him. Of course, I know that you are a constant source of help for your mom and you live nearby so that makes your job tougher.
Typically, my mom and dad would put up two trees in their house. Several months ago my dad mentioned that he didn't want to do the tree in the den. I completely understood it for him. But, for my girls that is Santa's tree. So, I asked him if it would be okay if the girls and I (and my nieces and sisters) could put the tree up and decorate for him. I am not quite sure what he has decided, but I am hoping we can talk him into it.
There are so many layers of loss when it comes to missing those that we love. I can only imagine the lifetime of memories that holidays bring up for our parents. You are such a great daughter and I hope that you guys can solve this before it causes more stress for everyone.
I'm thinking of you.
Thanks ladies, I'm calmer today;)
I'm sorry you're going through this, but I think your tough love is probably just what she needs right now.