7 days late and have Fibromyalgia

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2003
7 days late and have Fibromyalgia
8
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 1:20pm
It's such a relief to know that I'm not the only one going insane because I can't figure out what is going on with my body! Thanks to all of you for sharing your experiences, anxieties, etc.

Well, today makes day 7 of being late, and I am convinced I'm pregnant despite 4 negative HPTs. I haven't tested a 5th time yet because I think I'm getting false negatives and the tests are expensive. I'll test again in 2 or 3 days. I don't have morning sickness, but my breasts are sore and I have strange cramps. I also have heartburn and today I started getting headaches. What amazes me is that some women test positive even before their period is due and other women test negative even when their periods are late. If I'm not pregnant, then there is something very odd going on in this body of mine.

I'm almost 30 and my fiancee is 41. He's totally freaking out at the prospect of this possible unplanned pregnancy because I have severe Fibromyalgia. There is no risk for a baby, but my Fibromyalgia could get much worse during a pregnancy - which means that my pain level could sky rocket. There isn't much information out there on Fibromyalgia and pregnancy. Some people say their symptoms improve during pregnancy and others say the opposite. He wants me to have an abortion if I'm pregnant, but I refuse. Fibromyalgia is definitely not a reason to abort. We were planning to get pregnant in a year from now anyway, so it's not like he doesn't want kids. I won't die in childbirth or anything like that, and I can't think of anything more incredible than bringing our child into this world! If I'm pregnant, I'll be happy...I'm just not sure how much more of this waiting I can take - I NEED to know if I'm pregnant!

Can anyone else relate to this?

Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 1:25pm
I hope you are pregnant. I CANNOT believe he would want you to have an abortion. Explain to him that children are a blessing and that he should feel fortunate as there are many of us who have to go to extreme measures to even hope to conceive. Good luck to you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 2:18pm
Thanks for your support, invitrogirl!

It's been a nightmare ever since I discovered that I'm late. I'm SO stressed about finding out if I'm pregnant, so the added misery of his attitude is almost more than I can bear. I understand his fears, but he's making it so much worse for me. I'm not insured in the country we live in, so that's a big problem as well. We don't have much money, but I know we can find a way. If I am pregnant, he'll have to accept it - and I think that once he calms down, he'll actually be happy about it. If not, well..I'll find a way to go it alone. Stress is the worst thing for someone with Fibromyalgia, so I'm suffering big time at the moment. I can barely sleep, and I'm so nervous and tense. I know that I'll be able to relax once I know whether or not I'm pregnant. I think I'm going to crack if I continue to be so late and keep getting negative HPTs.

Sending you lots of baby dust.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 2:41pm
Thanks for the baby dust. I will take it.Regardless of your insurance situation he should be supporting you.Are you sure he will be able to be a strength for you when "the chips are down" so to speak? If he is freaking out over this, how will he handle lifes other challenges? I was married to someone like this(and subsequently divorced)and his first reaction to me being pregnant was "omigod-what a disaster-this is terrible news". He never asked me to abort(nor would I have) but his first thought was always about himself and how"hard" things would be. Please be careful and really examine your choice!

Best of luck and all good things for you!

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 2:54pm
Thanks for your wise words, Laura.

I told him when we first got together a year ago that there was no way I would have an abortion if I got pregnant - maybe he has a hearing problem? My best friend has 3 kids and she has said that she is there for me 100% if I am pregnant. She knows how much I want kids, and has said that she will help me find another place to live if it turns out that I'm pregnant and he continues with this insanely selfish and immature behavior. I have made it absolutely clear to him that there is nothing he can do to convince me to have an abortion if I turn out to be pregnant. I think it is starting to sink in. He has been there for me a lot (in terms of my illness), and is a good man at heart - really. I think this will be a huge test of our relationship, and if he fails, I will definitely leave him. We have a very loving, respectful, and mature relationship in general...so his reaction to this has left me pretty shocked. The bottom line is that he's scared.

We'll see what happens!

Your support is much appreciated.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 3:17pm
keep me updated and I will say prayers for you!

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 3:36pm
Good luck to you. Hope it all works out the way you want it too.

Wanted to share my story. I was diagnosed with FMS nearly 12 years ago when I was 20. I was in pretty bad shape, plus it was suspected that I had SLE also. When we decided to have children, I was very concerned about how my body would react. I was fine, though more achy then normal. After the baby was born, my FMS symptoms almost disappeared and my SLE symptoms did. Since then I have had another child and am expecting again. The SLE syptoms have never returned and my FMS is much, much less troublesome. I have very little, if any, pain and my tenderpoints are much less tender. I also have almost no other symptoms. I am active and can do things I could only dream about before.

I know the pain of FMS and the constancy of it. If you are expecting, I hope that your FMS will ease as mine has. Even if you aren't pregnant, I hope your symptoms will lessen.

It is sad that your fiancee is not supportive right now. If he is concerned with your health, then drag him to the drs with you so he can ask questions. He needs a swift kick in the behind for even suggesting an abortion!!! I'm glad you are not considering his suggestion.

Best Wishes!

Kris

Best wishes,

Kris with Eliza (4), Adam (3) and Alex born 4/15 (edd 4/22)  

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2003
Thu, 09-11-2003 - 4:00pm
Hi Kris!

Thank you so much for sharing your story! It really helps to hear from someone who has Fibro. I'm almost 30 and I've had severe Fibro for 3 years. I spent over a year in bed = totally disabled. I am doing MUCH better now - even though my daily activities are pretty limited. I can't carry anything heavy, my pain is constant (from my head to my toes), and I have massive sleeping problems. There was a time when I thought I'd never be able to have sex again (too much pain all over my body), let alone have a baby...so there is no way I am going to have an abortion if I'm pregnant. Losing my "normal" life to this illness has made me appreciate just how precious any happiness is, and that's exactly what a baby would be for me: HAPPINESS.

I know we are all different, but I hope that my Fibro will get better not worse if I'm pregnant. After what I've been through in the last 3 years, I know I have the strength to face ANY challenge, so I can deal with the pain if it gets worse. It's worth it!

Thanks again for sharing and being supportive. I'm so glad to hear that your Fibro is so much better!

Smiles...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2003
Thu, 10-23-2003 - 1:58pm
im not sure if im pg lol but im pretty sure i have fms (fibro) its awful isnt it? Im so anxious to know if im pg lol cuz id like to be able to sit down and RELAX and not feel like i have to run around the house trying not to go nuts while im waiting. im testing today. good luck to all of you ttc!! :D