feel completely stupid and alone

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2008
feel completely stupid and alone
9
Wed, 05-14-2008 - 10:37am

did everything wrong...

okay my husband had has his Vr on April 1st. We started TTCing right away on april 22 which was on the sixth day of my 1st cycle. I ovulated on the 13 day of my cycle (april 26). Then on the sixteenth day of my cycle yes three days later my breasts hurt days following nasuea, dizziness,enlarged breast, hunger, heart burn, cramping, extreme exhaustion,
round belly. On the (may 7)21st day of my cycle believing i was pregnant I i did a home pregnancy test which tested negative. my period was due sometime around may 9 and may 11. it never came. so I tested myself again on the 27 day of my cycle and again came up negative.

it now the 28 day of my cycle and i woke-up with some light bleeding the toilet paper looks brown and severe
cramping. I am going to see a doctor probably today

the part that I did wrong is that i was so so so sure that i was pregnant could I still be? if this is implantation blood it seems rather late to be happening?

sorry I feel so alone and red faced
robyn

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2006
Wed, 05-14-2008 - 10:45am
sweetie, you are NOT alone. There are so many people TTC and feeling lost and without hope because it takes some time to do it. Every cycle is different for most women and if it helps, we all go thru it. I used to think that you can get pregnant whenever you wanted to. And since I have started charting myself I never realized how complicated and how much your body goes through every month. Here is a website that many of us on the board use to do our BBT and cervix checking to TTC. www.fertilityfriend.com Register for that site *its free* and this next cycle *if you should see AF ugly face this month* start taking your temps every morning and monitor your CM and CP. This site (depending on your temps and how often you chart) will tell you exactly when you ovulate. Don't feel ashamed for what you are doing. Its natural to feel insecure and "lost" when TTC. Hope I have helped you out a little and I hope that you get your BFP soon!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2008
Wed, 05-14-2008 - 10:48am
Please don't feel alone or embarrassed.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2003
Wed, 05-14-2008 - 11:35am

Hi Robyn,


Welcome to the board. Just wanted to say please don't feel all alone. Like Cindy said, we have all been there. TTC can be so complicated. BFP's, BFN's, and it's just not as black and white

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2008
Thu, 05-15-2008 - 9:50am

well it is over. the brown spotting became enough to fill a maxi pad. In my mind i had a miscarriage. I was pregnant for ten days. I could not see the doctor yesterday but have an appointment for june 12th.

So i will start over and be more careful...I have been speculating and wondering how this happened? I did some gardening tuesday.

It was a terribly mixed up day yesterday for me. I woke-up alone with bleeding (my husband was out of town) I had to go and receive a literary award for writing a story about my deceased daughter(she died three years ago) while bleeding and severely cramping.

by the afternoon i had given up on the idea that this was just implantation bleeding. I had to wait hours for my husband to return back home but when he did I had a good cry and realized we can try again.

Questions,

so from day one of bleeding I start counting the days of my second cycle on the fertility chart?
thanks for all the advice..
Robyn

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2008
Thu, 05-15-2008 - 10:01am

I'm so sorry about your loss and about your daughter.

>
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2003
Thu, 05-15-2008 - 11:41am

Robyn, I too am so very, very sorry about your loss. :-( I agree with Wendy, at least call the doctor to give them the news and find out their thoughts about that. I don't know why these things happen, but I'm sure that gardening didn't have anything to do with it. Please don't blame yourself, okay?

Big ((((((HUGS)))))))) and please stick around and let us know how you are doing ...

rachelsig

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2008
Thu, 05-15-2008 - 12:05pm

thanks everyone.

I have learned alot in the past month from this forum. I know that I will test after my due date of my period and to rest until the egg is firmly established and also until i show positive on my blood test. that I may be quite fragile and need to take extra precautions. I also will never ever tell anybody that i am pregnant until my blood test confirms the
postive.

That hey I can get pregnant with only one functioning fallopian tube. That I do ovulate.

as for phoning my doctor he is quite busy and it is different here in Canada. I will wait until the bleeding ends and start again with BDing every second day and next moth I will have a positive pregnancy that will result in my little girl

I have to hope..I do not want to remain in this big empty house living my life with no child (children) to nurture.
I will keep you posted
Robyn

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2003
Fri, 05-16-2008 - 5:55pm
Robyn, again I am so sorry. You are being so positive though, which is terrific! Big (((HUGS))) and ***baby dust*** to you!

rachelsig

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2007
Sun, 05-18-2008 - 6:16am
Robyn, hang in there.
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