Finally want to share...(longish)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
Finally want to share...(longish)
13
Wed, 08-13-2003 - 3:25pm
Hi there, great women of the boards, it is Owlessa again.

I have been from this board to the Jan 2004 board and back due to a miscarriage.

I have been hanging back in the shadows for a few days, but I thought I would join again....the first time around I made so many good friends...I am sorry to all of you who I did not stay in touch with...you have always been in my thoughts.

For those of you who I talked to a lot, I will tell you what occurred - and for those of you who are trying, I have things I want to share and lessons I have learned. I am a bit superstitious about being here, you understand, but I think it is healthy to move on so...here's the story:

Started trying Dec 2002.

Got on the boards in Feb 2003...the support was great...I learned about symptoms, myths, and facts about getting pregnant. I listened to great women and their stories and learned to be patient with my body, but to keep science in mind - the two would work together to help us conceive.

Had a vicious period on April 11th 2003 ( I think I O'd on April 25th)....that was my last one.

I spotted a browninsh pink on May 5th (had the WORST backache EVER 2 days before this) and then it was gone.

My symptoms included very painful bbs, abdominal pains, some tiredness, etc. There were days I swore I was getting AF, especially when I started to get my typical dizziness...I was expecting AF on May 8th or 9th...never came. I was VERY intune with my body and noted every symptom...I prayed a bit each day.

I tested positive on May 10th and told our families and my best friend.

We were thrilled...I was tired...I was a tiny bit queasy.

Went to doctor on May 22...got a EDD of Jan 18th 2004.

Still felt tired but never had morning sickness...but ALL WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT...some do get it, some don't...my mom didn't with either myself or my brother.

Back to doctor on June 7th for first u/s. He said the baby looked small for almost 8 weeks...looked about 6 1/2....come back in 9 days...could be dates were off...could be not ok...BOTH ARE A POSSIBILITY, LADIES! Don't panic on me, ok?

Went on the boards again...asked for support and got it...amazing stuff and prayers.

Went back to the doctor on June 16th...the baby had not grown...I had a D & C the next day....never had m/c symptoms that were glaring except that I wasn't tired anymore.

Just got my first AF on July 21st - 5 WEEKS after the procedure.

It was hard, it was sad, it is life, and we are trying again.

My observation/ lessons/ sharing:

Remember, I am not a doctor, but I have tried to understand the process as best as I could.

- Try to get pregnant for the right reasons

- Listen to your body, get in tune with your cycle, and don't stress the process...my 6 months of trying felt like an eternity b/c I stressed every month about whether I was or wasn't pregnant.

- Notice your changes when you are getting close to AF...the symptoms are sometimes silmilar.

- Don't torture yourself with testing all the time...I think the best time is after you have missed your period.

- If you have questions, pain, bleeding that is abnormal, fears, or anything that needs medical attention PLEASE call your doctor.

- If you don't feel comfy talking to her/ him - get a new doctor ASAP.

- If you are trying to get pregnant and you don't have any forseeable reasons why you can't, just be patient and trust yourself.

- If you get pregnant and have a m/c, please remember that it is NOT YOUR FAULT!!! You didn't walk too fast, eat too much, kill your child with one beer or one cigarette, jinx yourself by telling people or wanting it too much...it may have happened because of genetic factors or other things, but IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT.

- Don't fall into myths.

- I read that women who do not have morning sickness have a higher rate of m/c because of the lack of hormones the body is producing. My Dr. says no or small correlation...but DON'T PANIC!!! It probably means nothing if you don't have morning sickness...not totally proven.

- About 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage.

- Most women who m/c end up with healthy babies on the next try! REALLY!!!!!

- Read about pregnancy and the do's and don'ts if you have questions....EDUCATION is key for your future child and for yourself.

- And mostly, know that whatever you are going through, you are never alone.

Thank you for listening to me...this was cathartic for me, and I hope it helped you too.

I can't say I will be here as often as before, but these boards are addicting, so I might be!!

Here's to trying again! Stay positive and wish us luck!! I'll get to those "expecting club" boards yet!

With much love,

Owlessa :>

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Thu, 08-14-2003 - 4:36pm
I am very grateful for you and your kind and strong words. I believe everything happens for a reason and brings with its doings a more stronger and powerful person. Although I have not passed through your situation I cant relate but more likely understand and comprehend your anguish and pain. But mostly I see how much of a stronger woman you became. Thank you for showing us that in every dark corner there is a ray of sunlight and the only way to reach for it is to follow it and let it grow.

Angie
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Thu, 08-14-2003 - 5:23pm
I was really depressed, the dad told me he wouldn't help me if i had the baby, i had nobody to turn to for support, and I was 15, no money, no insurance.

so i overdosed, trying to kill myself. my mom found me and took me to the emergency room. a few days later i started bleeding and found out i had miscarried.

i still feel SO guilty...i think about it every single day. : (

sorry that was a hard one for me to post because 1)i feel guilty as hell. 2)i don't usually tell people....

*jen*

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
Sun, 08-17-2003 - 10:45am
Punky,

Thank you so much for sharing with me...I posted to you directly and am going to look there...be back, k?

O :>

Pages