I don't have the stomach to try again

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
I don't have the stomach to try again
6
Sat, 09-20-2003 - 11:44pm
Well, it's official. Period is in full swing. Shot down in Month Three.

It took half a year to conceive first one. Then it took over a year after regular af returned to conceive second. Will it take a year and a half to conceive another one. I just don't think I can take that much disappointment. I'm not even sure if I'm ovulating, and my sleep schedule is too jacked up to chart bbt. On top of it being af, I've got very painful sciatica going on.

I just want to cry. In fact, I have cried. I get so jealous of my brother-in-law and his wife. They have always conceived on their first month trying. And they don't seem to give much of a flying flip about their kids! And dh and I wan't a whole slew, and we have trouble!

OK now I'm feeling guilty because I know some of you out there haven't had the luxury of even having two kids. And some of you have had to go through a lot more than me to get the ones you have. I'm just so frustrated right now. DH says let it go. It will happen when it happens. It's so easy to say that when your a man. You don't have to live with it day in and day out. Maybe I'll feel better in the morning.

We'll see.

Avatar for isldgoddes
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sun, 09-21-2003 - 12:09am
OH sweety i am so sorry.. I get jealous too and oh so frustrated..It took my 8 months to get my son..My daughter was an oops though..Maybe you should just not chart and just let things happen..Sometimes thats when it does happen..I think Af is on her way at my house too and i dont think i want to try anymore either..Big hugs to you..

Cara

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2003
Sun, 09-21-2003 - 12:57am
I can relate to how you feel. I have one child, he will be 4 in march. I wanted to be expecting another child by now so they would not be very far in age, but I was not told about the side effects of Depo Provera. It has been 11 mos since my last shot and I finally received AF back in May but it has been so irregular. I just went through a 47 day cycle with AF starting today. DB and I are disappointed but he has the same attitude as your DH. "It will happen when it happens" is all that he will say. Meanwhile, I stuggle with the falst pg symptoms and the cramping and the wondering and the trying to figure out if I am/when I am ovulating. All he has to worry about is being there for the five important minutes that I need him to conceive. Men just don't understand. I do understand about your sister-in-law. My sister is the most fertile person that I know. She does care about her kids though, she is the best mother that I know also. My nephew (her 2nd child) was conceived on bcp's. My neice (3rd) was conceived on bcp's and condoms. My sister had her tubes tied after my neice and 3 weeks ago found out she was pg again. She did, however, loose the baby last week. My sleep cycle is irregular also. I work the night shift so when I wake up varies every day. I am going to try to chart though. Maybe it will shed a little bit of light. I have always heard though that if you don't stress about it too much then it will happen. Maybe both of us are just stressing aobut it too much. I guess this is long enough. Keep your chin up and good luck!




iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003
Sun, 09-21-2003 - 8:10am
Ohhhh, I'm so sorry for you. I know what its like to get that disappointment, it took us almost 3 years to get pregnant 1st, and then right away with our 2nd, now we are on our 3rd month trying to conceive #3.

I know how hard it is to hear just relax and it will happen, but ever since I found this board it has made me obsess too much, so this month I had to back off a little and try to force myself to relax. I have a hard time getting into anything because(sorry TMI coming) I'm not one who is crazy about sex. I had an incident happen to me when I was younger that I think affects me now. So anyway I had to find a way for me to enjoy it a little bit. LOL Try to use other things to take your mind off of it and enjoy that time. Don't stop trying if you want something bad enough, your heart will get you through it. I know what you mean by saying others who could care less get it, but then we who want it the most, can't. Keep trying at the very most it will be fun trying. Keep me posted and if you ever need to talk my e-mail is jennybrown22@hotmail.com


Have you considered talking to your OB about the problems. Considering your history, maybe they can do something to help.

On a lighter note, my almost 3 year old finally went pee on the potty today, I might just have one out of diapers before another comes along after all;) LOL

Jen


Edited 9/21/2003 8:15:18 AM ET by jenbrown3

Jen

Proud Mommy to

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2003
Sun, 09-21-2003 - 8:27am
I took depo shots for a year, and stop taking them two years ago, and I still haven't concieved. I would get so upset every month, that finally I said that's enough. And I did good up until this month.

Once again I've got my hopes up and I hope I'm not disappointed.

Steffanie

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2003
Sun, 09-21-2003 - 8:37am
Hi there how are you ? I know exactly how you feel, I too took two years to fall pregnant with my first daughter in 1998 as I have polycystic ovaries so I never have any AF or never know when I am going to ovulate so i gave up trying that way, then it was five years then i had my second daughter this year in january unexpectedly. I never knew that i was pregnant with either of them. I have had two cesearean sections and feel kinda cheated that i will never be able to experience a natural childbirth and that i can only have one more child by c-section but i then think that I must be blessed with my two girls now and they were meant to come along at the times they did for a reason.

I want to have another one but if not then that is okay but if i do then it will happen when i am meant too.

I would like to email you further and cchat some more if you would like then let me know and we can :) in the meantime keep your chin up and it will happen:)

madison

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2003
Sun, 09-21-2003 - 10:23am
Thank you everyone for coming to my pity party. Sorry I forgot the refreshments and party favors. I feel much better this morning.

I do need to see my ob and make sure everything is alright. But after that, I do just need to relax. We'll see if that's possible. After years of trying not to get pregnant, then switching to trying to get pregnant, it's hard to just ignore fertility. It will be a good excersize for me in patience.

I just get frustrated sometimes, and it's nice to be able to vent. Thanks.

Kate