I don't know what to do

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2006
I don't know what to do
3
Tue, 11-14-2006 - 5:24pm
My boyfriend, of 6 months, and I have just recently started having sex, about a month ago. The first time with him was my first time ever. We have never used a condom and I am not on birth control. The first time we had sex he pulled out before coming. We talked about what it'd be like if I was pregnant and how would he feel? Well he started thinking and said he'd be happy and he wants a child. He is 23 years old and felt something missing when he'd watch is cousin's and sister's children. Well we didn't really decide on anything. We had sex Saturday (Nov. 11th) and its not Nov. 14th. He has flipped his mind (which he oftenly does). I don't know if I'm pregnant but he says he doesn't think he wants it. And if I am I don't want to get rid of it (abortion is totally out of the question) and then I thought about adoption and know I could never live with myself if I did that. Like I said before, I don't know if I'm pregnant. But I just have this feeling that I am. Let's put it this way the past 5 times we had sex it was without a condom (he did pull out for three of those times though). I don't know what to do. And another thing is my mom. I'm afraid she'd disown me or make me get an abortion. I am 17 years old. I know that I must sound absolutly stupid about this and some may be thinking badly of me. But I need some advive. I also want to know how long I should wait until I get a pregnancy test that will get me a answer that is going to be 100% correct. I can't go to the doctor's because I went about 2 weeks ago and if I go again my dad and mom are going to know whats up. Please someone help me with this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2006
Tue, 11-14-2006 - 5:44pm
Hello. You need to wait until your period is due to get a pretty reliable result. Do you know when it is due? I don't want to tell you what to do but I got pregnant at age 19 and I was in my second year of college. I was with the father for 5 years. He told me the same things so I wasn't careful like I should have been. I had a baby and a week later he left for a new girl that he met. He has never been involved with my daughter. To this day I fear him showing up and wanting a relationship with her. It is a very rough road to follow having a baby young. It is such an enjoyable experience but it is brutal when you are not married, and settled with a career and all. Please do not let a boyfriend take away your strength. Be strong. Keep yourself protected and wait to have a baby when the time is right. It will be much better for you and most importantly for your baby. Like I said, test if your period does not show, which it might be late if you just began having sex. Let me know if you need help with anything. Good luck to you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2006
Tue, 11-14-2006 - 7:49pm
wow your situation is almost exactly like mine. I'm also 17 my husband is older to. we started haveing sex the same way. he was my first i was his. He'd pull out most of the time but not always. about a month into us having sex I found out that I was pregnant. You could probably take a test as soon as possible. I'd only missed my period by a few days. He was my boyfriend at the time but he'd always said that if I did get pregnant he would marry me if I would have him. He was my first boyfriend, first kiss, first everything. We'd only been dating for about 7 months. We decided to get married and keep the child.His parents were really upset that we had been haveing sex. And so were mine though they had already suspected. I was only 4 weeks pregnant then. I'm now 16 weeks. We're married in our own little apartment. And I couldn't be happier. For awhile I went to a school for pregnant teens or teen mothers but I didn't like it, they were nice but I didn't really fit in. So now I do home study and work at a local grocery store. It's kinda tough but also alot of fun. I would say take the pregnancy test alone and if you are pregnant tell your boyfriend. Let him think about it before you mention anything about adoption or abortion.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2006
Tue, 11-14-2006 - 9:32pm
Most pregnancy tests will give you an accurate result as early as 2 days before your period but if you wait until the day your period was due or even a day or 2 afterwards you will get more accurate results. The good news is, no one can force you to have an abortion, they can try, they can kick & scream all they want but it is ILLEGAL to coerce someone to abort a baby. I always thought my mom would disown me too, I was raised in a strict family but when I told her I was pregnant she ran to me with open arms & her & my 2 year old daughter are best friends. There are many free counseling hotlines & websites that will help you deal emotionally with being pregnant, the father & family members, etc.