I'm pregnant

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-23-2006
I'm pregnant
4
Sun, 07-23-2006 - 4:00pm

I'm 16 years old and today I found out that i'm pregnant. I'm still very shocked and afraid to tell my mom about this. I don't want to do an abortion but me and my mother are very poor and can't even pay rent for apartment. I don't know what will happen if i'm going to have a baby. And the problem is also that father of my baby is married man, who already has 1 daughter. Please help me decide what to do.

PS: sorry for my english

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2003
Sun, 07-23-2006 - 4:36pm

First I want to say CONGRATS!!!


Things WILL work out,just take a moment to yourself,then tell your mom what is going on.Let her help you through this,but don`t let her decide things for you...lol,that sounds strange but I`m sure you know what I`m meaning.


I know you was saying the man is married...well that is his mistake,now he must pay.Yes it might ruin his marriage but that is HIS problem.


You and your mom go fill out paperwork to get you on Medicade,food stamps,AFDC,Wic...also,in your 2nd trimester apply for HUD.(housing)...the AFDC is a temp childsupport,tell them who the daddy is,let them file all the paperwork,they turn it over to the Attoney Generals office,where everything ya`lls baby needs will be worked out.


And PLEASE ignore the comments his wife is going to make,it`s not just your fault,he is guilty too,you now need to think about the baby growing inside you.


Listen,please go ahead and tell your mother,she will be upset at first but trust me she`ll help you through this,lean on her!


(if you decide you don`t want to keep the baby,either way,the social workers down town where you apply for help,will point you in the right direction)


Good luck and I wish you the best!!((Hugs))

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2005
Sun, 07-23-2006 - 5:01pm
I COMPLETELY agree with the last poster. First off...a married man has no right even thinking about sleeping with a 16 yr old girl. I agree that you need to go into your local DHS office and get all the paperwork and ask about every single program that will help you and your mother out. Make sure to be prompt about getting everything turned in ASAP so that the benefits and stuff can be enforced quickly to help take care of that baby. I also agree that you need to give them teh information on the father so that you can get the ball rolling in the support for the child as soon as the baby pops its way into the world or you may be waiting on the list forever...also plan on the man denying that he is the father...simply tell DHS and the father...fine...when I have this baby...pay for the DNA testing and we will prove that you are the father. As for your mom...simply sit her down and explain the situation to her...I myself would go up to the DHS office and get as educated about all the programs that are available to you and take that education to your mother once you tell her. I AGREE...don't let your mother make the dicisions for you...that is your body and your baby...don't feel pressured to go through the getting rid of it part. If anything you can give it up for adoption to loving parents that aren't able to have any children...in alot of cases of adoption you can still have contact with the child and some couples even pay any expenses involved. Make it YOUR decision...no one elses. HUGS!! It will work out! God plans little side journeys for to make us stronger!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2006
Sun, 07-23-2006 - 5:55pm

wow....what state are you in? sounds like this guy could be charged with statutory rape...what a loser..


if you cant afford to have this baby then put it up for adoption...i wouldnt abort,...its not fair for the baby to die bc you and your man werent careful...talk to your mom and see what she says..good luck


  

exercise

  

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2006
Mon, 07-24-2006 - 9:43am

I agree with the last poster. You're still so young and have so many things you need to do before you're ready to be a mom. There are so many couples that can't have children who would love that baby more than anything. I know it would be impossibly hard but I think adoption is the right way to go for you. Sorry if this opinion offends anyone. Hang in there sweetie, you're going to be just fine. www.itsaboutlove.org helped my friend so much. Good luck!

Chardell

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