nervous...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
nervous...
3
Wed, 10-01-2003 - 12:24pm
Scared:

I just lost my 16 month old daughter to SUDC (SIDS in children over the age of 1) on May 17th of this year. Her father and I have been on and off for 3 years, he split up with me when I was pregnant, so I had to do everything on my own, then he kept coming back and leaving, couldn’t make up his mind. I was a single mom for a long time. We are together now though, and have been for awhile.

Obviously she was not planned, and was a surprise, although a blessing :o) (I sure do miss her)

I recently got off of my Nuvoring, because it was just too expensive every month (my insurance doesn’t cover prescp.) I have tried so many different types of BCP, I tried, the patch (wouldn’t stay on) BCP (I’m so forgetful, and if I took 2 the next day I would get a migraine and be throwing up all day long, depo- I bled for 6 months straight!!, and the nuvo ring was working pretty well, but my partner wasn’t too fond of it, and the cost.

So, we have been using condoms (TMI?) Although I don’t think I could be pregnant, I’m having a lot of the same signs as I did when I was pregnant with my Bella.. I just knew I was pregnant.. I keep having cramping like my period is coming, but it hasn’t. I have been really nauseous for the past few days ( I don’t think I had that with my first, but I can’t really remember) quite a bit of discharge.. It may still be too early to tell, but I had my period last time on the 29th of September.

If I am I don’t know whether to be happy or sad. Is it too soon, we aren’t married, and I definitely wanted to wait until we were married this time… Bella will never be replaced, but I long to be a Momma again, ohmigoodness I miss her soo much.. I took a test on Monday just to ease my mind, and it came back negative, but I am really surprised my period hasn’t come yet.. I don’t know if it’s because my body is used to the nuvo ring, and I kind of controlled when It came, or what? (When you take it out a few days later you get your period) I felt myself ovulate so I know my cycle is back to normal ( I just wish I could remember when I felt it) It hurts so bad when I ovulate I can hardly move for hours, it’s awful.

I know that SO is not ready for one, he decided to go back to school, and isn’t grieving for Bella yet, he is just pushing it aside, and wont talk about it..

Opinions? Could I just be jumping the gun? Should I take another test soon? Should my period have started yet?

Kathy

http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/a/angelbella/

http://www.geocities.com/bellasmomma2001/

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2003
In reply to: b_e_l_l_e
Wed, 10-01-2003 - 12:28pm
my prayers go out to you, i really cant explain my feelings for you, i would think that if it was a pg about to take place, i and this is just me, take it as a blessing, maybe its a good sign for you to feel that mommy spac again!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2003
In reply to: b_e_l_l_e
Wed, 10-01-2003 - 12:38pm


i hope u get the result u want

good luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: b_e_l_l_e
Wed, 10-01-2003 - 3:50pm
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