scared and unsure

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2003
scared and unsure
3
Sun, 09-14-2003 - 5:16am
ok, im 18 yrs old... i hear that im too young and its too early to have kids, but i have thought about the positives and the negatives 20 times over, and decided that i could handle them.. i also hear that i dont know what love is and that im too young for all that, but i know i love my boyfriend, and i know that he will be a good father and partner for the rest of my life... but now that i am going through the motions, its a lot more emotional than i expected... right now im in the waiting period to know if im pregnant... i have never kept track of my periods, but know they at least start in the first 2 weeks of the month... strangely though i have kept track of the days ive had sex... sept 7-11 and the 13, so far :D all with no protection or precaution... here it is the 14 of september... i had a period in August, in the first 2 weeks, but not yet in september, i know if i concieved in any of the 6 times that it probably wouldnt have kept my period from coming, but at the same time, it never came... ive had a small weight gain, tender breasts, slight naseau, cramps (they felt similar to period cramps but not, and no sign of period)... i havent taken a hpt yet, they say to wait until a missed period, but then i read that they can tell 10 days after conception... im unsure of how early blood tests will work... is it possible to want to be pregnant so bad you convince your body you are when youre not???

--abby--

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2003
Sun, 09-14-2003 - 8:44am
I am not one to tell you, you are too young or anything. I got pregnant at 19 so I can't really say anything there. But as for your delema though, you very well could be pregnant. It is a lil early to test though I would think. Take an early hpt and see. If a neg then wait till AF shows up, and if it doesn't in another week then take another one. Yes your body can give off all the symptoms of being pregnant with out acually being pregnant, the syptoms are so close to PMS. Think we all go through the 'COULD I BE' But we are all here for that reason. Anyway good-luck.

Karri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Sun, 09-14-2003 - 8:53am
It is very possible for your body to experience symptoms of pregnancy when you are not. It's happened to me. I've gotten myself so sure I was that I couldn't believe the 6 negative home pregnancy tests and I made an appointment with the doctor. She sent me for a blood test but told me that my body might be responding to my desire to have a baby. She was right - I was not pregnant. Then again, only a hpt or blood test can tell. You'll have to wait for the results of that (I know it's hard! :)

I think it's wonderful how strongly you feel for your boyfriend. I'm sure you are both very mature. I was 27, had a wonderful husband, owned a nice house, the whole nine yards when I got pregnant with my daughter. I was "ready" to have a baby. I realized that even under the best of situations, having a child is a life-changing experience. I love my daughter with all my heart, and my husband and I are trying desperately to have another. But my life will never be the same. Your life takes a backseat to the life of your child - 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. 3AM feedings when you are exhausted, lots of crying in the beginning, following them around EVERYWHERE they go when they begin to walk, temper tantrums when they become toddlers, throwing food, eating sand, and I won't even mention the expense! Of course I am naming all the negatives and the positives certainly outweigh them. But I know that when you want a baby it's easy just to think of the positives. I just want you to be aware that you're life is never the same. Having a baby is exhausting - mentally and physically. And if you're not ready for it, the beauty of motherhood may be clouded by this exhaustion - it may be difficult to appreciate all the wonderful things babies have to offer. I'm sure you and your boyfriend will make wonderful parents. But just be prepared that it is very hard, even under the best of circumstances. I wish you the best of luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2003
Sun, 09-14-2003 - 9:58am
Abby, if you are sure that this is what you and your boyfriend want to do at 18 then that is your choice but I personally would wait. I truely believe that you and your boyfriend are committed so why not get married first, enjoy those first months of marriage with just the two of you. If you have a child right now you'll never get to experience that wonderful feeling of being a newlywed, just you and your hubby. It really is great and something I wouldn't ever change. And, even though I know you've probably heard it a million times, you have plenty of time for a baby. But, if you truely have your mind set on this and it's something both you and your boyfriend have really thought through, then you need to start paying attention to your body.

First, if your lmp was sometime the beginning of August and it's usually pretty regular, then you should have olulated sometime towards the middle or end of August. So, if you didn't bd during that time the chances of you being pg are slim but not impossible. I would wait a few more days before taking a test and just see if AF comes. If she does then mark it on a calendar. I would then do this again for 2-3 more months before trying to conceive. That way, you can start to see what your cycles are like and will have a better chance of conceiving. If you do get pg, then the doctors will want to know your cycles and when you lmp was. It helps them determine due date. So, if you're not pg and you can hold out a couple more months, I would use this time to learn your body and what's normal for you.

Also, make sure you and you boyfriend really talk about the future. I don't know your boyfriend (or you for that matter) but sometimes the thought of having a baby is wonderful but they, the men, (and women in most cases) don't really understand what's all is involved. I know a lot of men that think it's great because they are not really expecting to have to do a lot of the work. A baby changes any relationship whether you're just starting out or been married 20 years. It's a life changing experience that can't be taken back so make sure you know exactly what he expects to happen. I would hate for things to get rough and then you end up raising this baby by yourself.

Good luck with everything.

Susan

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