should I?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
should I?
6
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 10:55am
I'm 21 years old and I just found out that I am pregnant and I am very happy. My mom thinks I should get married to by boyfriend and he did ask me but I don't want to right now. It may not make sense but it just doesn't feel right to get married just because I am pregnant. I'm not sure it will last if we a rushed besides I really don't want a shotgun wedding lol. What do you think? Shoul people get married because there is a pregnacy?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2006
In reply to: curvydiva18
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 1:25pm
I agree with you...I do not believe people should get married
just because of a pregnancy. A lot of people who are old-fashioned
may disagree with us, but ultimately it is your decision. My mother
married my father when she was pregnant with me and divorced him less
than 4 years later. She's now been happily married to my stepfather for 19
years. Listen to your heart...not what everyone else is telling
you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-02-2006
In reply to: curvydiva18
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 3:06pm
Hi there! I'm about 5 months pregnant with my first and am 20 yrs. old. My mother sounds just like yours. She has been pressuring me to marry my fiance in a rush now that I am pregnant. I don't want to either. I don't want to get married just because of the baby. We had intended to get married anyways but we are in no way rushing because I'm pregnant. We will get married as soon as we are ready. Just wait until your ready and don't care what other people think, It's your life.
babies

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2006
In reply to: curvydiva18
Wed, 06-14-2006 - 11:52pm
I say you definitely should NOT get married, if you do not want to yet. In my opinion, getting married simply because of a baby will lead to a quick divorce. Just try to stick to your guns, and let your family know that you are an adult- and whether or not you get married is your choice.
Lilypie Third Birthday tickers

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
In reply to: curvydiva18
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 9:23pm
Sorry for the late reply but thatnk you all for your advice. I'm not going to marry just yet. I feel the same way if we get married now it may not even last. We should and we are going to focus on raising our baby.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2006
In reply to: curvydiva18
Fri, 06-23-2006 - 9:41pm

are you sure you aren't replaying my life?!? just kidding. :) i'm 20 years old -- my due date is 7.28 and my 21st birthday is 7.29 -- anywho. i'm going through the EXACT same thing. mom thinks that i should rush to the altar and be mrs. so-n-so. he's asked, and i said no. not no as in never. but no as in we'll see. i want to make sure he's still in this relationship for me. marriage never came up in any of our conversations until after i found i was pregnant. i figure if our relationship can make it through this... then sure, i would be willing to try marriage. he's older (((28))) than i and more established. sure that's a good thing for my child's sake - but i want to make sure that if this relationship were to fail... i could walk away and still be able to provide for my child and myself, by myself. i atleast want to finish school (((majoring in education))) and get my own career started. -- i could go on and on... lol. to answer your question... i really don't think it's MANDATORY to married because your having a baby. just my opinion... good luck to you and congratulations, by the way. :)

~raya~
7.26

raya2006
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-10-2006
In reply to: curvydiva18
Sat, 06-24-2006 - 1:35am

I sooooooooooooo know what you are going thou in Dec 1999 i found out i was pregnant with my son and my sons dad asked me to marry him and i was just 22 and didnt want to get married. i Knew i would keep my baby and such but i didnt want to be a wife. After he kept pushing me to marry him i left him because i didnt want to be pressured but now after alot of growing up on both our parts we are getting married in 5 days. Go with your heart you can never go wrong with that. Good luck to you and i hope everything works out.

Valerie
Soon to be loving wife to Ambrose (6-29-06 only 5 days away)
Super cool mommy to Logan
TTC#2

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