SOMEBODY HELP ME PLEASE!
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 07-14-2006 - 8:37am |
Hey everyone. I've been lurking around this site for weeks but I just couldn't get up enought gutts to post here, but here I go. I'm 20 years old I'm going into my junior year in college. I have a two year old son who I love dearly, and I'm engaged to be married to my son's father after we finish school.
* * *The Problem* * *
I love kids, and I was just talking to my fiance about wanting another baby because I didn't want my kids so far apart. He was telling me that he wanted to wait a while so we could have our lives a bit more together so to speak. I was ok with that. My fiance and I hang out alot we drink every weekend, and sometimes during the weekdays. We smoke and I was doing that aleast once a day since June. I didn't think I was pregnant, I had no idea (Well actully I woke up early like maybe 3days after my period and I was having some cramps and I was thinking my this could be implantation cramps but I just brushed it off) I could even be pregnant or would have never done any of it. A couple of weeks ago I started feeling pregnant, my boobs hurted kind, I was feeling sick for no reason, and I was tired alot. I really didn't think much of it because I am on the b/c pill but none of these symptoms are even normal for me unless I'm pregnant. So that weekend I bought a hpt and it was - for two days in a row. I waited a while, until like Sunday and I took another one and it was -, I took one Monday and it was also -. Since I got my first - on the weekend I took it as if I wasn't pregnant and it was just all in my head, I continued to party on the weekend and drink, smoke ect but it was like after this last weekend it hit me that I was really pregnant. It's like I have no doubt in my mind that I am. I took another test yesterday and it was also -. I'm still having all of the symptoms, and I my boobs hurt. It's like I know I'm pregnant but I can't believe until I see the proof. I made a Dr. apt for tomorrow for a pregnancy test so I'm guessing it'll be a blood test. I'm not sure if it'll be able to tell if I am pregnant since I'm not suppose to get my period until Sunday. Also I've been having cramps all week, and I've continued to take my b/c pill because I was thinking like if I'm not then I damn sure don't want to get that way. Usually when I stop taking my pill I'll bleed right away or have bad cramps as a reminder. Well today I decided to not take my pill because I wanted to see if I'd start to bleed or have really bad cramps. Well, I didn't start to bleed, and my cramps seem lighter today than usual. I don't know what I'd do if I was pregnant, I had an abortion maybe a year ago, or a little less than a year ago, my son wasn't one yet so it was over a year ago but I felt so bad about and didn't even want to do it again. My fiance who was my bf at the time didn't want another child yet because we were just about to finish up our freshmen year in college, and his family would just die! I don't know if we're in a better place now, but he is working full-time. I stay at home with out son and go to summer school but I just don't think I can have another abortion. The killing part of this is I didn't do anything different as far as my pills go. I mean I had a sunday start and I started like monday or something but I took both pills, and I do that all the time without getting pregnant.
Ok so I know that was pretty long, but what do you think? Am I pregnant what should I do?
Do you think I may have harmed the child from partying, and continuing to take my b/c pills? I'm so lost I feeling crying this all so much for me because I love kids so much.
Thank you to everyone who replys.
Star*


Star*
Thank You,
Star*