Wishful Thinking?
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| Thu, 08-02-2007 - 9:59am |
Has anyone ever been called a "glutton for punishment"? Have you ever referred to yourself this way? Well, I know I have PCOS and irregular cycles so that means my chances of conceiving on my own are pretty slim, if not nil. But I live with my BF and we don't use anything but w/d method, so mostly every month, I go "did it happen?" And this month is no different. In 2007, my longest cycle has been 37 days, which was way long even for me. I usually range from 27-35 days, and there's no telling when it's coming, except for bloating and cramping, which I haven't really had yet this cycle. My LMP was 6/28 and pretty normal. Well, I had some cramping yesterday for about 15 mins, but that could've been from bd'ing yesterday morning (sorry TMI). Monday, I blew up at my friend, was crying for no reason, and achy. Well, I've been achy for about a week. I've had to pee more often, and my nights have been hell. Tossing and turning from achiness and having to pee. Last week, I was having some really weird dreams. Even had a dream about AF coming. This morning I woke up and something just felt different. It's probably all in my head, and I'm sure after posting this message, AF will come. Monday, I had this sharp pain around my belly button, so painful that I couldn't stand up straight (I'm sure that was gas). I've been nauseous/queasy off and on, and that's about it, I guess. Can't remember when we bd, and I've been traveling for work and very busy.
I guess in the back of my mind I know I'm not pg, but a girl can dream...or cry "why not me?!" I want AF to come, so that I can get on with life, but if she comes now, she's going to screw up my weekend plans (pool party Sat). And if she doesn't come, it only prolongs the delusion. Please help me. I think I'm insane.


Hi,
I'm not sure what PCOS, but up until I was 19 I have irregular cycles and had a BF with Low SC. So at 19 when I got pg with #1 I had no symptoms, so i thought. My mother knew, but I was clueless. So I say be encouraged and give yourself some time and you will see. I know waiting is hard, I've been driving myself crazy, but it will be worth it in the long run either way.
Chelle
Wow! I was watching that episode of Sex and the City last night when Miranda found out she was pregnant...remember her lazy ovary and Steve with one ball...lol.
PCOS stands for Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, which is just a compilation of body dysfunctions, beginning with incomplete ovulation, so the eggs turn into cysts on the ovaries. I also have irregular or male pattern hair growth, and slightly elevated male hormone levels. There is no cure, just a series of treatments to try to balance everything out and promote ovulation to the point where my eggs will fully mature. So that's why I say it's even silly for me to think of getting pg without any help. I think it's just my subconscious making me suffer/hope. And like I said, everything that's going on with me right now, nausea, cramps, irritability, fatigue, is all PMS.
Thank you for sharing with me though, because it does keep me hopeful. Plus, I'm not anxious for AF anyway right now, cause I'm going to a pool party tomorrow, and as hot as it's going to be, I have to go in the pool.
Thank you for explaining. Now I understand, but you just never know. I am a total optomist, sometimes to a fault, but my sister tells me that's one of the things she loves most about me. So on that note, I will be hoping for you from a distance.
And for the swimming, I totally understand. I live in the Dallas area and we are expecting our normal summer heat next week. I have to make sure my pool is ready for me to enter at all times. So AF can stay away for a while and let you go swimming.
Chelle