wishfulthoughts17 - how are you??

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
wishfulthoughts17 - how are you??
12
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 9:02am
I know you probably got lots more advice than you wanted yesterday, but I just wanted to check up on you this morning!

I am here for you if you need to talk.

Melinda

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2003
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 11:44am
Im here now. just got back from school. (im a senior and i have a ton of studies) thanks SO much for checking up on me. i felt so special. im not sure whats up with me...Im getting more cramps...i almost threw up a couple times today..i feel like im gunna get my period now..but im not sure for a while cuz i got my last on 10/5 but idk, im confused because..i got it so late and all...*shrugs* im still scared...idk what to think because its SO unlikely that im preg but i want to be...but i dont think i could..but then whats the heck is wrong with me if im not? *cries* im SO moody LOL i started laughing when this person was yelling at me...and then crying and then being angry...its like a cycle..and ive got more cm...in fact i felt so wet I thought id gotten my period way early but..i was wrong...i give up! im supposed to see a person at a clinic tommorow, but im doing it secretly...i dont want to make a big deal out of nothing..
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 1:22pm
Just be sure and tell this person to check if it shows you've had sex (that you could have been touched or raped). This is the main issue that needs to get answered. Then you can take it from there. If there is still issues at home - we'll try to offer advice on somewhere/someone to go to in your area.

Just wish I could give you a big HUG!!!!!

Please post tomorrow and let me know how it goes.

Melinda
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2003
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 2:06pm
i definetly will! i feel so accepted here and i love that..this page is on my favroites list..and now im sort of scared im not pregnant..cuz then i loose all of u.... its so weird..i dont rmember how I even found this message forum!! lol im still worried..im scared that theres something wrong with me, please pray for me (if u pray) thanx!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2003
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 3:28pm
BUMPING because I need to find melinda and I cant email her through her profile and well if you get this melinda plz email me or im me...actually any of you feel completely free to IM me or Email Me. :D

Email: rubyslipperz17@yahoo.com

AIM: gretchenanne17

YIM: rubyslipperz17

MSN: aurora33186@hotmail.com

:) hope to hear from some of you if u get the chance. Specially u Melinda!!!

~Wishful/Gretchen

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 5:22pm
Gretchen,

I am here - just have to work a little through the day to earn the money!

And you won't lose us!!! We are always here and you can always sign in under chit chat or off-topic discussions down below. No of them really have to do with being pg or ttc.

So - I am thinking of you often and praying for you!!!!

You know the best thing would be that you are not pg (not yet and not by him) and that everything was just a very vivid dream.

When is your appt tomorrow?

Melinda
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2003
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 6:02pm
ok cool thanx. I mean its not that Id be THRILLED to be pg from my stepdad, guys plz dont think that...but i wouldnt be ashamed...because it wouldnt have been my fault thats all im saying. Im saying I want a baby, and if it were my stepdads, hey thats gross, but it IS a baby. Im not sure what to think except tbat Im praying that whatever fate brings my way...is the right thing...*sighs* but its wacky guys, i feel like AF is on its way sometimes...like i thot it was already here..*shrugs* ok..ill go back to reading other ppls posts lol so i dont ramble.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2003
Wed, 10-22-2003 - 6:37pm
Could your mood be related to the hard time you're having dealing with everything - school and home? I know you want to be pregnant, but imagine what this child would have to deal with someday - let alone what you're life will be like. Not to say that every child doesn't deserve a chance to live, no matter the circumstances under which they were conceived, but you've got a doubly hard situation to live with if you are pregnant. You are still in school, and the possible rape by your stepfather. If your mom is willing to stay with him even though he abuses her (even if it isn't physical), chances are she may have low enough self esteem to feel trapped by him and stay with him. How would that make you feel? What if he comes after you for accusing him of raping you, and what if your mother believes him?

This is just not a situation to bring a baby into. Having a baby or getting married to 'get away' from your family or problems does not usually turn out the way you hope.

I know all about wanting a baby so someone will love you. I went through it when I was a teenager (seems like a hundred years ago). My stepbrother was the one who raped me and molested my little sister. I, too, hoped I would get pregnant. I thank God everyday now that I did not have a baby from him. It took a lot of counseling, and just time to grow up and realize from watching my friends who had kids in high school that my life was so much easier and just as happy and fulfilled - if not more so than theirs. I was free to move wherever I wanted, work any hours I wanted and spend my money on myself - just be selfish for a while.

If you want to talk to someone who's been in a very similar situation (who now still wants to be a mommy very much) feel free to IM me - just use my user name - kessa3 on YIM. I'll be online after 7 tonight central time.


joy3.gif

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2003
Thu, 10-23-2003 - 1:20pm
ok ok i see all of your points but there is, in no way shape or form, that i would ever abort a child..whether i was raped or not..i think its murder, im sorry. but I think that god will will be done. lol doesnt that sound funny, god will will be done..lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2003
Fri, 10-24-2003 - 2:36am
well i went to the clinic guys...as of NOW..i appear and i quote "appear not be pg".it was some crappy brand of a pee test thing lol and I know they CAN be reliable..but...weeeel who really knows cuz its still a little early to test i suppose. but anywayz.. the lady says i needed to call a rape crisis hotline..so i did..and the new lady said i need to go to the hospital..everyone keeps saying that but im not going to if it costs my mother A CENT..its not worth it..and she doesnt know..and im not telling her it either..too hard to..but ppl are getting pushy..even the lady at the clinic told me to call her tommorow (which actually is today) and monday too..and now dss is going to hae to get involved..and we dont even know if i was raped!! my sister says i was and i have to beleive it and get help..i mean i did find...that white stuff on the liniing of my pajama pants and what looks like a blood stain but i dont know..i really want to be pg but this is so crazy...im not sure WHAT i CAN handle..I WANT a baby...but not from my stepdad..my dad would KILL my stepdad if he even touched me the wrong way, nevermind HAD HIS CHILD..oh boy..u dont mess with 185 of muscle or ex-marines (go dad! lol) i dont know what to do anymore..i dont want to cause any trouble. i just want to be able to sleep at night in a nice home...in a home where my mom actually gives a care whether in ok or not..I SO WAT TO BE PG THOUGH..its hard..*sighs* im SOO CONFUSED!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2003
Sat, 11-01-2003 - 4:46am
im so scared i still might be pg guys...we shall see..i had to run away..im moving to sacramento...i had to...im sorry ive been away so long i miss all of you!!

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