Do the "rules" apply? (a survey)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Do the "rules" apply? (a survey)
11
Thu, 05-12-2011 - 7:59pm

1. Would you name a baby

Chouli, 34; DH 45 Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2007
Thu, 05-12-2011 - 8:13pm

1. I think it would be socially awkward to use the same name as an ex. Your friends and family (if they knew him) would ask about it. Your husband might feel very uncomfortable with it, too. I would only make an exception if there was another person with that name, too (e.g. if your father and your ex-boyfriend are both named John).

2. I actually like alliteration. Griffin Garrison sounds fine to me.

3. I think syllables should be taken on a case-by-case basis. Some sound good, others sound bad. I think the example you gave, Archer Devan Hadley, sounds fine.

4. Nationality is a harder case. Does your last name sound very Swedish? What's your husband's nationality? How does his last name sound? Is it a name that has an English equivalent (e.g. Miguel) or one that is very specific to another nationality (e.g. Vladimir)?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Thu, 05-12-2011 - 8:21pm

My husband is Canadian/American so our last name has no ethnic sound, really. I am a history buff, so I have to stop myself from names like Eirene and Antenor.

Love your question! I think Margaret is an awesome name. I wouldn't let your cat Maggie get in the way of it. Some of your close friends/family may notice the correlation but most people would be just happy about the cute little bundle.

Chouli, 34; DH 45 Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2010
Fri, 05-13-2011 - 10:40am
1. Depends on several factors... How long did you date? A couple of times vs. a couple of years would make a huge difference. Was he around your family enough to have him be a strong association with the name? How common is the name? I'm not sure if you are using Tate as an example or that is his name. Tate is uncommon enough to give me pause, John is not.

2. For me it's about the actual names being used. Our last name starts with a B and is unfamiliar and has a weird rhythm. For us, B names are out because they all sound awful. I like alliteration with some letters, Ks for instance. Your example of Griffin Garrison isn't my fave because they also repeat the r sound. Griffin Gay I wouldn't mind as much.

3. I think it depends more on where the syllables are stressed and ending sounds than just number of syllables. Your example sounds fine, my nephew's name, does not, Zachary Anthony Buginlee ( made up that ln for these purposes)

4. I'm on the fence about this one. We gave our daughter a very uncommon (in the US) Scottish name. People have a very a hard time with her name in general, so I always include that it is the Scottish form of Elizabeth. Most people get it after that and are done, but a few have then asked if we are Scottish, which we are not. It has given me pause all threee times i've said no.
DH couldn't care less, he hates the double standard of no one questioning Isabellas' parents of their hertige. Of your examples, I don't think Boris or Javier would give people much reason to ask, but Antenor will, so it depends on your comfort level with explaining.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2010
Fri, 05-13-2011 - 10:58am
Jadzid's question: again this depends for me. I'd be fine with your example, I'd have a harder time with a cat Mike and a child Michael.

My question:
Is it okay to introduce my child be her nn if I know a person is going to have a hard time with her name? Example, my elderly neighbor thought Graham's name was very strange, her exact words were "I've never heard that before". So when she asked about E's name, I just said Elsie. We don't call her either exclusively, I'd say 70% Elspeth, 20% Elsie, 10% Els. I have Elsie in place for peole who have a hard time with Elspeth, but I have always explained her full name first.

In this case, the neighbor will hear us call her Elspeth and since I never told her that was her real name, I wonder if this practice is the right thing to do or not?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2007
Fri, 05-13-2011 - 11:42am

I think it's fine to introduce your child by whatever you want that person to call her. Unless that will cause confusion later, for instance if your neighbor hears you calling your daughter Elspeth after you've said her name was Elsie. Maybe the easiest way, if you use both names, is to say, "Elspeth, but we sometimes call her Elsie" or something like that.

My son is two and a half years old and we call him Charlie almost 100% of the time (or sillier nicknames). I cannot for the life of me convince him that his full name is Charles. He just laughs and laughs whenever I say it. He especially doesn't believe me that his middle name is Isaac, because there is another Isaac in his class.

Jadzia

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2004
Fri, 05-13-2011 - 5:22pm
1. Would you name a baby the name of a former partner/relationship if its just b/c you like the name and not in honor of?

I'd say no. I really like the name Harris but I dated a guy with last name Harrison and I couldn't even do that.

2. Is it really bad to name a baby with the same starting sound in the first and last name? Ex. Griffin Garrison

No. I have a Corban K_________ and I think it's fine. My nephew is Caleb Christopher C_____ and I think that sounds fine as well.

~Even though Garrison isn't my LN, it does have a hard G to start and I love the name Griffin. I was thinking the combo sounds author-like.

I think Griffin Garrison sounds fine. I love Griffin!

3. Is it true that syllables shouldn't be repeated in first-middle-last? Ex. Archer Devan Hadley

I wouldn't worry about syllables. I have Ethan Robert and Logan Ryley. I'm not bothered by it.

4. Nationality names.

~I'm from Sweden and living in the US, but what if I like the name Javier, Antenor, or Boris?

Anything off the beaten path people are going to question. I wouldn't care.

My question - would you use a name if it's anywhere remotely close to a 1st cousin to the child (that only sees each other a handful of times in a year, if that)?

I didn't use Maris for Madeline because dh's brothers daughter is Meryl. Am I kicking myself? No, not necessarily but I'm wondering if I let that influence my decision too much. BTW, I love Madeline and it suits her. :-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Sat, 05-14-2011 - 8:09pm
I would still use the name. In your example, the names you wanted aren't that close to Meryl. If you had wanted Marilyn...probably not, but Maris and Madeline are fine!
Chouli, 34; DH 45 Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
Avatar for devenvasko
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 05-16-2011 - 1:52pm
With #1, I think that would depend on your so. How do they feel about using the name of a former so?

With #2, My siblings & I all had the same letters for our first & last name. D. It was fine. I don't really think this is a rule. I think how it sounds is more important.

With #3, I think syllables do matter to a small degree. BUT, if it sounds good to you. I wouldn't worry about it.

With #4, I don't think this is a problem either. Not in the US anyway.

;-D I guess I'm just a rule breaker!

Deven, homeschooling mommy of Kol, Jul, Elle, Liv & baby #5 due 11/16. Three Sweethearts in Heaven;

;-P Not bad for 11 years of marriage!

http://fromthedepthsofacreativeheart.w

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2004
Tue, 05-17-2011 - 9:37am
I think Madeline (long 'i') is very different than Meryl, that's why I didn't hesitate when we named our daughter that. ;-)
We must be saying Meryl and Maris differently because the only sound that's different is the ending. The beginning sounds the same.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2008
Mon, 05-30-2011 - 1:09am
1. Would you name a baby the name of a former partner/relationship if its just b/c you like the name and not in honor of?

Well, my SIL had a crush on a Joshua and named her firstborn Joshua, but she'd always wanted a son named Joshua. Tate is a bit more unusual, though. I think I would do this only if DH loved the name at least as much as I.

2. Is it really bad to name a baby with the same starting sound in the first and last name? Ex. Griffin Garrison

This example also repeats the last letter, so it sounds even more repetitive. I usually don't like these, but this isn't bad to me. My husband has a name with repetitive sounds--like Peter Zapper--and loves his name. Our son is Peter III. I don't love the combo, but I do love my son's name.

3. Is it true that syllables shouldn't be repeated in first-middle-last? Ex. Archer Devan Hadley
DH has this too--think Peter Whitney Zapper. I don't think that's so bad, at least not always. Like you said, there are a lot of 2-syl names (mostly with the accent on the first syllable).

4. Nationality names.
It depends. A name from your child's nationality, IMO, is always okay, though there are disadvantages when it can be hard for people in the culture he/she is in to spell. I would use a very Hebrew OT name because I am Christian. I might use a name from a different culture that sounded just a little exotic, like Paloma, or similar to an established name, like Luz. But without a strong connection to the culture, I wouldn't pull out something like Fyodor or Etienne (I think there's more room for girls' names, though, because they tend to be just exotic (especially if they end in -a or -ie) rather than ethnic, if they flow at all well in English. Also, it depends on naming trends in your area/time. I think with all the Irish names around a more unusual Irish name that fit the same patterns (Finnegan, Rogan) wouldn't seem too out there. A boys' name that's a form of an English name but ends in -o migh go over okay--like Marco, Petro.

Pet names--similar is okay (though I would think something like "you must really like that name" and might say it too). Same is not okay. This means I can never have a Hope, Kyp, Kody, Kay, or Daredevil.

I love Elspeth. My grandma is Elizabeth and I plan to use that, but if it weren't for that I might consider Elspeth. It wouldn't strike me as anything but a lovely name; I like it much better than Elsie.

I would not reuse a cousin name, unless the name is after another family member (If BIL wanted to name a son after his grandfather George, and so did I, I think we'd both have a right to it). I would use a somewhat similar name--I have a nephew Joshua, and for a while I wasn't sure I could still use my crush-at-the-time Josiah, but decided I could (especially since Joshua's parents wouldn't have minded). I would avoid exact duplications of even a second cousin I saw once a year. (I used to like Lily, but my cousin used this; DH's cousin has a Christian).
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