Help settle the dispute in my house!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2002
Help settle the dispute in my house!
17
Sun, 07-04-2010 - 10:24am

I'm only 7 weeks pregnant, but we're both ahead of ourselves insisting this is a boy. Just play along ;)

Okay, so FIL does not have a mn, he's just Niko followed by a 4-syllable crazy Greek last name. DH is Niko Dieter (mn after his uncle). DH is insisting that our son have Niko somewhere in the name as well - as a concession he's saying mn is fine. FIL is pushing his own father's name, Cleanthes on us big time so the name would be Niko Cleanthes followed by a LONG and CRAZY Greek name. That is the worst case scenario in my book. The poor baby would saddled with a 100-syllable, all Greek name. No, thanks!

Options and their problems:

- Niko Cleanthes, I hate it

- Niko Fox (Fox is my grandfather's nick name and I'm in LOVE LOVE LOVE with it) At least with this scenario, it follows the pattern of Niko = first name. The baby won't technically a "third" since the MNs are all different, but it is somewhat of a tradition.

- Fox Myers. This is my dream name! Myers is my maiden name, but DH argues since I'm not close with my family I shouldn't use it. I still like it and it's my name after all!! I know my dad would be SO happy to be included and he'll never have any other opportunities to pass on his name because my brother is very ill. Still, it's kind of a weighted name. I've even told DH I'll have another baby after this one and let him name it Umbrella Stand if he wants.

- Some other option that you suggest. I'm not super keen on the idea of two or more middle names just because it's really getting long, right? It may be the only way to get peace.

Thoughts? Sorry to be a bug on the board lately. Haha, I'll prob be hounding everyone with girl dilemmas in a few months. I'm pushing for team green but getting lots of opposition on that as well :/




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Edited 7/4/2010 10:30 am ET by velvetminxx

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2007
Sun, 07-04-2010 - 11:37am

I would say that using Fox or Myers as the middle name is a fair compromise.

Avatar for chriscanuck
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
Sun, 07-04-2010 - 12:43pm
I think Niko Fox is a nice compromise.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2007
Sun, 07-04-2010 - 1:55pm

First of all, stop talking about names with your ILs. Just tell them the name AFTER the baby is born. If they start the discussion, let it go in one ear and out the other; just nod and smile and say something NON COMMITTAL, like, "Thanks for the input on this important issue. Say, ." If you ever once for one second act as though they deserve any explanation or justification from you, they will walk on you. So end it now!

Second, if you use Niko for the FN or MN, no WAY should you use FIL's father's name, too, esp. when you don't care for it. Your baby deserves his own name that you and your DH choose. The baby is not family property to be tagged with old family names - not unless you genuinely want that. They're acting like he's a NASCAR vehicle, to be plastered all over with logos. He's NOT!

Third, I recommend you either use Niko Fox or use Niko as the MN and choose a new FN altogether - something you and your husband like. You have MONTHS to think about this, so take some time off and then start fresh with some baby books.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2002
Sun, 07-04-2010 - 3:57pm

Yikes. I'm not usually the type of person to get walked all over, but this is a big, ethnic, patriarchal family I married into. The grandson on our side is going to be a HUGE deal.

I don't encourage these people to suggest names, it's like they take over the room when they enter. Did you ever see My Big Fat Greek Wedding? Well I'm like the groom with the long hair. We even live in Chicago and MIL & SIL's names are REALLY Maria & Athina and everything, no joke. See, and we have all these Nikos.

Maybe the board isn't the best place to bring this type of problem :/

Thanks anyway.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2010
Sun, 07-04-2010 - 5:05pm

Jenna, you are more than welcome to bring your naming situations to this board. You are very welcome here. I hope you will stick around and continue to ask for input and give the rest of us your valuable opinionson name ideas.


Now, as to your current situation, I

 

sunflower
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2009
Sun, 07-04-2010 - 5:26pm
I LOVE the name Niko Fox! We're going to use Fox for this baby (if he is indeed a boy, as I think he is!) I think that name sounds super adorable!


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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2007
Sun, 07-04-2010 - 11:11pm
My ILs are like that, too. So I'm just speaking from experience. I don't understand why your reaction was that the board is not a place to work on issues like this. To me, it seems like a great place - you get the benefit of other people's experience and ideas, and you can ignore whatever doesn't work for you and use whatever does... For example, if you want to talk names with your ILs, talk names with them! Your family and mine are similar, based on your description; but just because one way works for me doesn't mean it would work for you. I was just sharing my experience and what worked great for me. I hope you find the path that works best for you and that you end up with a name that you truly like. Best!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2007
Sun, 07-04-2010 - 11:32pm

First of all congrats! I am due a day behind you and also live in the Chicagoland area! How fun!!!

Anyway, I love the idea of Fox or Myers as middle names! Niko Fox sounds super duper cool! I think you have every right to fight for a middle name of your choice - be it family or any name you want!

I get the trouble of appeasing with family names. Is your husband's family very traditional greek in that grandkids are automatically named after grandparents? I have several Chicagoland Greek friends that that is the case for! I often feel guilty because I will want to balance out between using family names from both sides. BUT I am not a big fan of many names from my side though!

Good Luck with your decision and I am sure I will be seeing you over on the Feb board!

BTW - what is your daughter's name? What did you guys do "family name" wise for her?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2002
Mon, 07-05-2010 - 10:28am

Thanks! I guess I can shed some more light on Fox. We had originally talked about Wolfgang because there's some German heritage here as well. Lol, our Thanksgiving is like United Nations. Anyway, I started getting really comfortable with calling the baby Wolf when Fox struck me like a bolt of lightening.

FOX! Smart, quick, attractive. I love it. And the only person who calls my ole papaw by that name is my little mamaw, out of endearment. It's not like it's his real nickname for life, KWIM? His real name is Charles (which I also love) and he goes by Chod. So I feel like Fox would really belong to the baby, with a secret tribute to my gramps.

Fox Myers doesn't feel like a "Nascar" logo stamp of all the names in our family to me. I just love Fox independently of the nod. *swoon*.

I've got seven months to work it :)




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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2002
Mon, 07-05-2010 - 10:34am

Yes, it's the automatic name-after-the-grandparents thing at work here. Somehow somebody got skipped, which is why FIL is pushing me to name this one after the baby's great-grandfather. Seriously, if I'm going Greek, I'd rather name him Apollo or something cool. (Not really.)

Oh, I forgot to mention the OTHER side of the family, DH's cousins on the German side who are also pushing "Christian" middle names. Hahah! If it were up to this family to make a committee decision, I'd wind up with a baby named Cleanthes Jebediah. j/k ;)

Okay, I'm rambling now. Thanks for you input!!





ETA - Our daughter is Bianca Sofie. We just liked Bianca and Sofie is my little mamaw's middle name. Can you tell I'm obsessed w/my grandparents? Lol. They just happen to have awesome names.

I completely circumvented the Greek thing with her because SIL was named after that particular grandmother on his side already. Whew!







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Edited 7/5/2010 10:41 am ET by velvetminxx

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