What do you do when you just can't agree?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2011
What do you do when you just can't agree?
Fri, 09-30-2011 - 11:23pm

Dh and I just can't agree on a name for our ds (due in Dec).

Community Leader
Registered: 11-12-2008
Sat, 10-01-2011 - 9:41am
That is such a difficult situation to be in. You have a few options, though. You could go with something like John Micah or Bradley Grant and you could stipulate that you get to call him by his mn-regardless of whatever else he is called be others. Another option is to let him choose the name this time and stipulate that you get to name the next child. I always say that reaching agreement with another person about what to name a child is the hardest part of naming. It would be so nice if every child in the world was named something that at least on parent loved, but often I think children are named "compromise names"-the only thing the parents could agree upon, but wasn't anyone's top pick. Which brings me to another option you have- agree to scratch both lists and find something you both find okay. Good luck, and keep us posted!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2009
Sat, 10-01-2011 - 11:00pm
Dh and I were in this position when we named the twins. I was not very happy he didn't like my all-time favorite names. I didn't like his either! His solution was to do the following, so we would make sure the name was common ground for both of us. We both went through the baby name book, and listed names we liked, or would consider. I think we each ended up with about 15-20 or so of boy and girl names. After, I read off my list, and only names that we both had on our list we kept. This way, we ended up with 3 girls names and 5 boys to choose from, and we narrowed it down from there.

I have to admit, I was a bit frustrated with having to do it this way for a while... because I had carried favorite names with me for years, being a baby name lover. Yet, looking back on things, we can both say that the names were mutual choices, and neither of us has claim to them or can feel slighted by the choice at all.

You Do have to make sure they choose carefully and end up with enough names to come up with common choices. Or, be prepared to go back and add some more if you don't.

~April, Mom to son Jory, 23 and boy/girl twins, Alex and Haley, 11

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2007
Sun, 10-23-2011 - 5:40am
We had the same problem with our first - the names i loved are the ones he hated and vice versa. We ended up making a list each of our top ten names, swapped and knocked off names we just could not do and left names we could compromise on.. we then came up with three names to take to the hospital he loved one and i loved another and in the end he let me choose my fave from the top three because i went through labour and he felt bad :P