If it helps, I voted for Bella because it makes me think of "pretty," while simply Belle makes me think of a metal bell. Tell him that ... maybe it'll sway him a bit! ;)
I see Bella come up on these boards all the time. Up to now, I've avoided weighing in. But here goes:
Belle/Bella -- you'd better hope she isn't ugly. What if she is? I think it's really only fair to consider the possibility that your little girl may be the prettiest girl on the playground in your opinion, but other people's opinions will vary. And if she's the ugliest girl in school named Bella, that'll smart even more.
Actually, the more legitimate reason I don't like Bella for a girl is because it makes me think of Bela Lugosi. And Belle sounds like a dog name.
I think that your post was really rude. Why would you say that to someone? "Dont name your daughter something that means pretty incase she is ugly." I dont think that I have ever been so offended by a stranger. The community leader of my "home" message board told me to report you. I wont, but I will say that you need to be a little more considerate of other peoples feelings. Because of your rudeness I will never post on this board again. And in case you havent noticed, my daughter is beautiful, and there isnt a chance her sister would be ugly. Jamie
I wasn't saying that I thought your daughter would be ugly, nor was I insulting Alley or you or anyone.
It's a simple question of what you do when the *meaning* of a name sets a standard or includes some kind of value judgment. I feel the same way about the names Obedience or Chastity. These names just become cruel jokes if someone chooses to believe that the child is not, in fact, obedient or chaste. They set up an expectation for the child that can, in fact, be turned against them by cruel people who wish to hurt their feelings. I'm not, in fact, one of those people, but I do know that there's potential for it to happen.
Case in point: We did a project in my grammar school where we made a bulletin board based on the meanings of our first names. My name, Kate, derives from Katherine, meaning "pure." A nasty bunch of kids picked on me after my project went up on the bulletin board because as a Jewish girl, they saw me as anything but pure. I was, in their eyes, a dirty Jew. And the meaning of my name gave them an "in" to drive that point home. That screwed me up pretty bad for a while.
I would say that Belle is scary to me because of that incident (which persisted for years after the project) and things like it that happened to girls in my school. I don't mean to imply that your daughter will be anything but a beautiful super-model child, but that there is always the possibility that *crazy, mean-spirited, awful* children could use the name against her if, in fact, they think she's anything but the prettiest girl in the universe. Belle isn't even a name with a hidden meaning like Cameron ("crooked nose"). No one needs to do any research or see a school project about the name to know what it means. And it freaks me out. I wouldn't want to make my daughter feel as though she had to live up to a standard of physical attractiveness and I personally think that naming her "Beauty" might set the bar higher than I'm comfortable with. I'd rather name her "Inner Beauty" so to speak.
*I* am scared to use that name for those reasons. If those reasons don't freak you out, then pay them no mind. I was sharing my opinion, not giving you an explicit instruction.
I hope you can understand that I was not in any way attempting to slander either of your girls. I was just expressing a concern built from *my personal experiences*. Of course, your mileage may vary. My advice is absolutely unimportant. If you don't like it, don't think it applies to your situation, don't think it has a basis in rationality, think I'm mean or crazy or insensitive, then please just move on. I didn't mean to start a fight of any kind. It's just a matter of my having an opinion based in experience that might not have been clearly stated right off the bat.
I also hope that you were not, in fact, chased away from this board. I hope that you will look at this post, read it and consider that I did not have any kind of malicious intentions when I commented on the name. I was just throwing a personal concern out into the ether. I'm sorry it offended you. That was wholly unintentional. I understand that you thought it was inconsiderate, I can see why you might, and I apologize. I hope I have explained myself satisfactorily. If not, please let me know what I can do to make it up to you. I didn't intend to hurt any feelings.
I can make a point of not responding to your posts in the future if that's what you'd prefer. I respect that you don't like my "style" and I won't push it on you. Please don't abandon the whole community because you think that I have a bad attitude. I am in no way representative of the group of posters here. Again, I'm sorry. (And I'm sorry to everyone else for having created trouble; I really didn't intend to. If someone wants to report me and thinks this thread indicates that I deserve it, have at it. I will take full responsibility for any comments I make and have made on this board.)
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If it helps, I voted for Bella because it makes me think of "pretty," while simply Belle makes me think of a metal bell. Tell him that ... maybe it'll sway him a bit! ;)
~Kelli
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Jamie
Jamie
I see Bella come up on these boards all the time. Up to now, I've avoided weighing in. But here goes:
Belle/Bella -- you'd better hope she isn't ugly. What if she is? I think it's really only fair to consider the possibility that your little girl may be the prettiest girl on the playground in your opinion, but other people's opinions will vary. And if she's the ugliest girl in school named Bella, that'll smart even more.
Actually, the more legitimate reason I don't like Bella for a girl is because it makes me think of Bela Lugosi. And Belle sounds like a dog name.
Jamie
I wasn't saying that I thought your daughter would be ugly, nor was I insulting Alley or you or anyone.
It's a simple question of what you do when the *meaning* of a name sets a standard or includes some kind of value judgment. I feel the same way about the names Obedience or Chastity. These names just become cruel jokes if someone chooses to believe that the child is not, in fact, obedient or chaste. They set up an expectation for the child that can, in fact, be turned against them by cruel people who wish to hurt their feelings. I'm not, in fact, one of those people, but I do know that there's potential for it to happen.
Case in point: We did a project in my grammar school where we made a bulletin board based on the meanings of our first names. My name, Kate, derives from Katherine, meaning "pure." A nasty bunch of kids picked on me after my project went up on the bulletin board because as a Jewish girl, they saw me as anything but pure. I was, in their eyes, a dirty Jew. And the meaning of my name gave them an "in" to drive that point home. That screwed me up pretty bad for a while.
I would say that Belle is scary to me because of that incident (which persisted for years after the project) and things like it that happened to girls in my school. I don't mean to imply that your daughter will be anything but a beautiful super-model child, but that there is always the possibility that *crazy, mean-spirited, awful* children could use the name against her if, in fact, they think she's anything but the prettiest girl in the universe. Belle isn't even a name with a hidden meaning like Cameron ("crooked nose"). No one needs to do any research or see a school project about the name to know what it means. And it freaks me out. I wouldn't want to make my daughter feel as though she had to live up to a standard of physical attractiveness and I personally think that naming her "Beauty" might set the bar higher than I'm comfortable with. I'd rather name her "Inner Beauty" so to speak.
*I* am scared to use that name for those reasons. If those reasons don't freak you out, then pay them no mind. I was sharing my opinion, not giving you an explicit instruction.
I hope you can understand that I was not in any way attempting to slander either of your girls. I was just expressing a concern built from *my personal experiences*. Of course, your mileage may vary. My advice is absolutely unimportant. If you don't like it, don't think it applies to your situation, don't think it has a basis in rationality, think I'm mean or crazy or insensitive, then please just move on. I didn't mean to start a fight of any kind. It's just a matter of my having an opinion based in experience that might not have been clearly stated right off the bat.
I also hope that you were not, in fact, chased away from this board. I hope that you will look at this post, read it and consider that I did not have any kind of malicious intentions when I commented on the name. I was just throwing a personal concern out into the ether. I'm sorry it offended you. That was wholly unintentional. I understand that you thought it was inconsiderate, I can see why you might, and I apologize. I hope I have explained myself satisfactorily. If not, please let me know what I can do to make it up to you. I didn't intend to hurt any feelings.
I can make a point of not responding to your posts in the future if that's what you'd prefer. I respect that you don't like my "style" and I won't push it on you. Please don't abandon the whole community because you think that I have a bad attitude. I am in no way representative of the group of posters here. Again, I'm sorry. (And I'm sorry to everyone else for having created trouble; I really didn't intend to. If someone wants to report me and thinks this thread indicates that I deserve it, have at it. I will take full responsibility for any comments I make and have made on this board.)
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