Help! what do you think of "IV"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2004
Help! what do you think of "IV"?
8
Sat, 08-07-2004 - 1:55pm
Ok, DH is named Edward Lee III and he wants to name baby (if it's a boy, of course) Edward Lee IV. I am opposed to this idea because I think it's too "patriarchial" for one, which doesn't fit well with me, but also because I have two girls from a previous marriage that I'm afraid will think he loves his biological child more than he loves them. He doesn't think that's likely, but I think girls are more sensitive to this stuff than boys. I am even opposed to giving Edward as a middle name, but if pushed I would settle on it as a compromise.

Anyone have any thoughts on this? We have been arguing about it for MONTHS!

~Jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Sat, 08-07-2004 - 5:29pm
Well, a few people suggested a "junior" when we told them we were expecting our second (before we knew she was a girl lol), and we told them all the same thing ... no way! We have pretty strong feelings about this, because it seems like you're not letting the baby be an individual from the start. Right away, he's just another "somebody junior" (or the third or the fourth, and so on). We preferred getting to give our child his or her own unique name.

Also, as you said, there can only be one child named after the father, and who's to say the other children won't feel as if this new baby is somehow favored or more desired.

Just my thoughts. Hope it helps. :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2004
Sat, 08-07-2004 - 5:42pm


I agree with your sentiments 100%. My reasons are similar to yours:

1. Confusion as the child gets older with two males with the same name.

2. What about the other kids, will they feel slighted? Maybe ask them??

3. It's kind of old-fashioned

4. I LOVE coming up with names, using one that exists takes away some of the fun

5. I don't think I could get used to my husband and my son having the same exact name. The relationships are just too different.

Wow I didn't realize how strongly I feel about this. I can say that I do understand where your husband is coming from. Good luck figuring this out. This is a tough one.

Peggy

Avatar for noodledance27
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sat, 08-07-2004 - 9:10pm
Jen, I am with you on this one, especially in your situation having two older children from another father. I just feel every child deserves his/her own identity and there is a way to incorporate a family name into every 'unique' name.

I have a third and did not want it that way. I lost.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2003
Sun, 08-08-2004 - 12:37am
I agree w/ you, I dont care for it but I dont even care for Jr's. I used dh's fn for my sons mn and it turned out really cute that way you can still honor your DH.

JoLee

Mom to Hunter James

Stepmom to Baleigh Ann

joLee.jpg picture by mom2hailey

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sun, 08-08-2004 - 12:42am
I think it is more of an ego/macho thing for guys to name their firstborn son after themselves. I think women dont have this strong emotion for this-which is why most women dont name their kids after themselves.

I have seen many families where the first son is the 3rd or 4th kid and is given the Dad's name. I would not make an issue of it. I think you could find a unique nn for your DS as a compromise.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2003
Sun, 08-08-2004 - 8:14pm
I think that child is his own individual and should have his own identity....AND his own name!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2004
Mon, 08-09-2004 - 1:30pm

It matters little what I, or even others, think about this naming decision.

Michelle

  Graham (May 1999),

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2003
Mon, 08-09-2004 - 10:26pm
If you don't feel comfortable with it, I wouldn't do it.

I think the patriarchal thing would be more of the issue. As far as your older children, I think that the fact that they are girls and could NOT have been a "IV" even if they were your dh's biological children makes it somewhat less of a problem. If you had two older boys and then your third boy was named after your husband, I would see more of a potential for jealousy or tension within the family.

It's interesting, b/c my father is a III, and said he would never have had a IV (it's just me and a younger sister). Although if I was a boy, I was going to have my dad's first name and a different mn. My dh is a Jr. and does not want a III when we start having children. I think a lot of men with "roman numeral" names DON'T want to carry on the tradition.

I actually think using the fn Edward with a different name is not a bad idea at all! It eliminates the issue of confusion over having the same EXACT name and lessens the "no individuality" concern. And Edward has enough potential nn that you could call your son a different name. For example, I have an Uncle Ed and a cousin Ned. I like Ned, or even Ted, as a nn to Edward. Also, using Edward as a mn seems like a very fair compromise. Why are you not in favor of it as a mn? I think mn are a perfect place to honor a relative or other special person in the babies' life or the parents' lives. Even if you don't like the name much, a mn is very rarely used...

Anyway, good luck! (although I doubt my meandering thoughts really helped on this one!)