How do you handle the Nickname?

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Registered: 04-05-2003
How do you handle the Nickname?
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Thu, 07-13-2006 - 12:09pm

We are pretty settled on Therese Margot if our baby is a girl. Theresa is my mom's MN.

HOwever, we are thinking of using the nickname Tessa. But DH has some reservations about using a nickname as a name.

So, those who have name one thing and use a Nickname from day one. How do you do it? What did you put on your birth announcement? How you you introduce the baby? Do you explain each time that the name is Therese but the nick is Tessa? DH is worried that people will just call her Therese and not the nick--especially in school and stuff if the formal name is on the forms.

I don't think it's that big of a deal, but he is pushing for just naming Tessa instead of Therese since that's what we'd mostly call her. But I really want to honor my mom (who is seriously ill--it would be such a nice 'gift' to give her at this difficult time).

Anyone have experience with this? Suggestions or advice?

By the way, our pick for a boy is probably Gabriel (Gabe) and he doesn't have any issue with this nn, but he feels Tessa is just so different from Therese in spelling and pronunciation with I understand. sigh.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2003
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 12:24pm

I have seen this before on baby announcements written like this:

Announcing the birth of
Griffin James Harper
"Finn"

I think that there are so many people who use nns exclusively or even just their mn now that you won't see much problem in school and such. I know when I was just registering my kids there is a line for first name, and then name they prefer to be called. BTW, Therese Margot is gorgeous. Excellent choice, and what a nice sentiment with your mother!

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Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 1:30pm

My oldest ds is John Richard, nn Jack. When he was born we introduced him "This is John Richard. We are calling him Jack, after my father." That took care of that. I never even thought of this when he started Kindergarten. I registered him under his proper name and then put (Jack). It obviously didn't filter down because when we went to orientation I introducted him to his teacher as Jack and she thought we must have the wrong room because she didn't have any Jacks in her classroom! Oops! Now I know better. We just got his teacher info in the mail and I sent an email to her so she wouldn't have any issues on the first day. My dd Anna (Annie) starts Kindy in September and I will do the same for her.

BTW, love the names you have chosen. Best of luck.

Mary

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Registered: 10-14-2005
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 1:35pm

I don't think it's going to be hard at all. As for birth announcements, I'd definitely encourage you to include her nickname. There are a number of ways you can do it:


You can start with just the nickname and then add information. (ie A photo and Tessa in a large font, then "John and Jane



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Avatar for haarlasr
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 3:01pm

My younger DD is Julianna, nn Annie. When we sent out birth announcements, we put Julianna (Annie) May on them. In the notice that was sent to the local paper, it said something like, "... would like to announce the birth of their second daughter, Julianna May. 'Annie' was born at 6pm on November 10..."

When she was tiny, and people asked her name, I'd say, "It's Julianna, but we call her Annie for short." Now, I'll often just say Annie although I sometimes say Julianna or still mention both names.

I know that my older DD's preschool entry form has a place to put a nickname, and it also asks what name your child prefers to be called and use on their paperwork. In that case, you'd just be sure to fill in her given name (Therese) in the right spot and also add Tessa in the nickname slot. And yes, she will probably correct the teacher on the first day of school every year, but it won't be a big deal, IMO. Lots of kids go by something other than their formal first name.

HTH!
Stephanie, mom to Megan Joy (6/6/03) and Julianna May (11/10/04)

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Registered: 12-09-2005
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 6:23pm
My name is Nicole, but I have been called Nikki since day 1. As a baby I was introduced as Nicole, but when everyone heard my parents calling me Nikki, they caught on and followed their lead. I know a little girl named Katherine Anne, but is called Annie. (I believe Katherine was a family name as well that the parents wanted their daughter to be named). Everyone calls her Annie, even though she is often introduced as Katherine or Katherine Anne. I love Therese Margot nn Tessa, I don't think you should change it!

                             
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2004
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 6:41pm

Tess is a recognized nickname for Teresa, so I don't think that Tessa from Therese is that big a leap. But yes, I'd probably do something like this on an announcement:

Introducing our Baby Girl

Therese Margot
"Tessa"

She probably will be called Therese on the first day of school, etc., but so will all the Williams who go by Will or Billy, and all the Alices who go by Allie, and all the Katherines who go by Kate or Katie. And now, most college applications and job application forms have a space for "name" and one for "what you go by." I think it'll be fine, really.

*BEAUTIFUL* name, by the way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 6:49pm

It shouldn't be a problem at all! ;)

I haven't gotten to read the other replies yet, but Tessa is a pretty widely-known nn for Therese, so no one should think it's odd or anything. Also, since you're naming her after someone close to you it just makes sense she would go by her nn rather than the same exact name, which could get confusing (and you can always mention this if someone DOES think it's odd or whatever).

If you want her to be called Tessa (which I love, btw) on a regular basis, you can simply use the standard introduction, "Her name is Therese (Margot) ... Tessa for short" or just mention that you call her Tessa. When others hear you refer to her as Tessa, they will likely do the same anyway.

The school problem is really a non-issue, because every school I know of has a section on the enrollment form where you put exactly what your child prefers to be called, and teachers are supposed to honor the student's wishes. So although certain things, like her report card, will still have her full name listed, she will still be Tessa on a daily basis.

Hope that helps ease your (and your husband's) mind! ;)

~Kelli

Ps. Since you are honoring your mother here, I'd stick with Therese as the full name with Tessa as the nn. If your dh keeps pushing to change it to the given name, you can always point out that Therese, nn Tessa, will give her the option of choosing which to use as she ages, especially in a professional capacity once she's an adult. That should do it! :)


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Registered: 09-29-2005
Thu, 07-13-2006 - 6:58pm

I already replied (and then read the other posts LOL), so I wanted to second Annie's suggestion of simply using the nn Tessa consistently.

We use the nn Aila for our youngest dd, and since it's a less-common nn I just made sure to call her that almost exclusively when we were around friends and family so that it would kind of catch on -- and it did. It's actually funny, because now she gets called that more often than her full name, Abigail.

Also, as another pp mentioned, you don't have to go through the "Her name is Therese but we call her Tessa" explanation with every person you meet. If someone, say, at a store or the doctor's office asks her name, I'll often simply say Abigail or Aila with no further explanation. After all, BOTH are her names. ;)

HTH (again LOL)

~Kelli


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Registered: 06-09-2006
Fri, 07-14-2006 - 11:37am

I agree with Kelli. It's often just simpler to give the nickname rather than explaining the difference between nn and given name.

DS's fn is Kilpatrick, nn Kip. Most of the time we just introduce him as Kip, because Kilpatrick usually seems to incite a long conversation about where the name came from (my 2X great grandfather who built half the houses in my mom's home town). We've never had a problem with people who know his fn calling him Kilpatrick probably because it's such a mouthful. In fact the only people who ever call him that are Dh and myself ala 'Kilpatrick Allen S_, crayons are not for drawing on the TV!'. Even the pediatrician who has his given name on all his records never fails to call him Kip.

We did not put the nickname on the announcements however. We just relied on the grapevine of friends and family to get the word out. This never presented a problem. That may have to do with the fact that he's the first grandchild on both sides of the family and had 2 proud grandma's and 2 great grandma's shouting his nn from the rooftops. He was famous before he ever left the hospital and has lived the life of a rockstar ever since. Occasionally we'll hear strangers say, 'There's Kip' because Nana and Grandma have shown his picture to anyone who will stand still long enough for them to pull it out.

I love your name! Therese Margot is beautiful, and definitely one that will grow with her. I agree with pp that Tessa is a great nickname, but not a given name.

Good luck,
Meredith

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Registered: 07-13-2006
Fri, 07-14-2006 - 7:39pm
Hello, the name on my birth certificate is Jacqueline but from day one i have been called Jackie. I think that people just catch on. The only people to ever call me my full name is the doctor and dentist. This way you can still honor your mother and have the name that you love so much as well. When you write up your birth announcement write out Theresa with (Tessa) in brackets. I hope that i was able to help a bit. Good luck.

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