husband, dd, and I have "j" names. N...
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husband, dd, and I have "j" names. N...
| Wed, 10-26-2005 - 1:44pm |
husband, dd, and I have "j" names. Necessary for dd #2 to have one also?
- Yes
- NO
You will not be able to change your vote.

<
I voted NO, it's not necessary.
but it will seem a little odd.
I don't know which J names you and your daughter have, but here are J girl names I like
Jocelyn, Jillian, Janna, Jenna, Jessica, Javonna, Johanna
lately I've seen Janessa and Jennica (almost like a mixture of Jennifer & Jessica). those have potential.
good luck
I don't think it's *necessary*, and your use of that word suggests to me that you may be feeling a little constrained. You shouldn't have to settle for a name you don't love just because it starts with a J, or forego the name that feels like *the one* because it doesn't. That said, it is worth some consideration. I'm not a huge fan of whole families with one initial, but I have to say, I do notice when only one is different. It does stand out less with only two children, though... if I came across your family's names I would probably assume you just happened to love a J name for your first child, not that you started a pattern and then changed your mind (which I probably would conclude if the odd one out were #3 or 4).
Here are some options: You could give your expected daughter a J name but plan to call her by her middle name... this is not so uncommon. Or, you might reverse your oldest daughter's initials, so that, for example, if she is Julia Charlotte, the new baby could be Clara Jocelyn. If you hope to have more than two children, perhaps you could plan for this baby's first initial to be shared with #3, that way everyone shares an initial with a family member. If none of those options work for you, I would look for other ways in which the two girls' names might seem harmonious together. They could have a similar ending sound or the same long vowel sound, have similar meanings or ethnic backgrounds, etc.
When everything is said and done, though, if you love a name that you can't make *fit* in any of these ways, but which doesn't actually clash with your daughter's name otherwise (I would advise against giving sisters one unisex and one very feminine name, such as Jordan and Clarissa, or one traditional and one modern name, such as Josephine and Destiny, for example), go for it. Have a special story to tell her some day about how you chose her name and what it means to you. If you love her name, she'll value it also, and she'll feel that she belongs in your family because of the way you treat her, not because of a letter.
I grew up with parents who both had common names for their generation, and my sister always had at least two other Lauras and a Lauren in her classes, while I've met only three namesakes in my life, all with different spellings. My sister grew up to be someone who lives a fairly conventional life, though she certainly excells at everything she does, while I'm definitely the black sheep, the unconventional one. In that sense, our names suited us perfectly. I did eventually change my name (don't get me wrong, it's lovely, just never felt quite *right* for me, and that can happen with any name), but I kept my original name as my middle name because I value the love and hope my parents put into it.
So, in the end, give your daughter the name that best expresses your love for her, watch her grow into it and make it her own.
Good luck,
Josie
Like the PP, I'd say that using the word "NECESSARY" implies that you don't really want to. If you don't want to, you certainly don't have to. There's no name police that will ridicule your second DD if you decide not to.
I have lots of J name family experience: I come from a family of all J's (and all girls), but our parents aren't J's. Growing up, I thought it'd be cool if my parents did have J names, but it could be a bit too much if all 6 of us had J names. My parents didn't originally plan to use all J's, but they fell in love with J names for me and my sister (the first two) and decided to go with it for the rest. If you don't find a J name you LOVE or you feel is RIGHT, then use another name.
If you do find the perfect J name for DD #2, a word of advice: make sure her middle initial is different from that of any other family member (or at least DD #1). All of the daughters in our family have different middle initials and my mother used our first two initials (or just our middle initial) as short hand on chore charts, score sheets, etc. I identified better with "JR" than I did with "JF" (my maiden initials; my married initials are the same as one of my sisters' first two initials, so I've never even tried using "JM").
And if you're looking for suggestions, here are a few *great* names. (No idea where they might have come from! ;)
Jordan Rebecca
Jaime Michelle
Jessica Brooke
Jasmine Danielle
So we all had different middle initials. #3, Jessica Brooke, always went by Brooke. She actually tried to switch to Jessi at school for a year, but decided to go back to Brooke. She does, however, resent being called J'Brooke (as when one of us can't remember who we're talking to). Her initials are also the reverse of my dad's (BJF).
People do ask about Brooke when I list my sisters. I almost always explain that her first name is Jessica (in fact, I usually list my sisters as "Jaime, Jessica Brooke and Jasmine"), but that Mom hoped to minimize her confusion by calling her Brooke. (It didn't help.)
My aunt & uncle are John and Jennifer and I thought it would be cute if they named their kids J names, but having both parents and all six of their kids have J names might be a bit much, as I said before.
It's also important to think about future children, as some PP mentioned. If you plan on having more children and have J names picked out for later children, it might be nice to have consistency. If your child #3 turns out to be a boy and you have a J name ready for a boy, then the middle child might feel left out (which middle children tend to do anyway). But if you're still open to all options for DD #2 and any future children, you don't have to wed yourself to one letter if you don't really, really, really, really want to.
In the end, it's up to you. If you find a good J name, use it. But don't feel like choosing a J name compulsory.
Definitely not necessary. To be honest, I rarely think about parents names when I hear the matching initial pattern. (ie in your case, I wouldn't even notice likely that one child "matched" your initial and the other didn't. However if parents Mary and John had three kids - Kristi, Kim and Lizzie - THAT would catch my eye)
I think there are lots of great J names. And if there is one you love, certainly use it. But I wouldn't force yourself to fit that pattern. Use any name you love.
Also, my advice assume you are only having these two children. If you plan to have more children in the future, you need to seriously consider how many J names you truly love and want to use. If you plan to have 4-5 kids and don't have that many J names you love, I'd break the pattern now. Because if you don't, you'll wind up with Mom, Dad and three kids with J names. And pregnant with number four, you'll have to either break the pattern that late in the game or settle for a name you don't really love.
Either way, good luck!