Interracial Couples and their children

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Interracial Couples and their children
5
Thu, 01-13-2005 - 1:31pm
My husband is half black and half japanese. I am half white and half japanese. We're having a hard time finding a name that we both like. I prefer more traditional names and he likes more unique names. (Even if they're made up. Braylon, Stryker, etc.) But he's having a hard time agreeing to any of my names b/c he feels they're too "white". Any suggestions on coming up with a happy medium? I'm all for family names (which on his side go something like this: Edward, Ken, Preston, Andrew...) But I really like Luke, Isaac, Noah, Elijah... Any advise would be great. My husband is getting really sensitive about the whole name thing and I don't want to be selfish or hurt his feelings, but he thinks since it's a boy, he should have more naming rights. (P.S. we're not really interested in going the japanese route and we're NOT in a serious time crunch yet. I'm 28 weeks right now.) Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
Thu, 01-13-2005 - 1:56pm

I'm in an interracial marriage (I'm white & my DH is black). We really had our minds set on having different names (definitely not on the top 10 list, but not necessarily not on the top 100)... we wanted something the kid could spell at a young age and that when you look at the name, most teachers could pronounce it easily. Our daughter is named Tiara (we know that she'll often have people calling her Tierra, but she can just correct them), and she's been able to spell her name since she was a little over 2 years.


I'd suggest you go to www.babynames.com and go to the advanced search option and go from there. You can search by boy names only and even by origin if you possibly wanted to check out Japanese and/or African (or African-American) names too. I think that you should each come up with a list of maybe 15 names each and go through the list together to cut some out. Then maybe settle on 5 names that you both mutually like, and then go from there. It sounds like he wants something a little different and not on the top name list. I just know that even though I LOVE some of those names, I just wouldn't want my DD or DS to have 3 or 4 others in their classes with the same name. I had a common name (born in 76 and my name is Heather) and there were always other Heather's in the class. I always was known as "Heather E." and that sucks. I really don't think that Tiara will be known as "Tiara H." in her class... just Tiara.


Good luck with this... I know it can be hard. Especially with DH's who don't really want to discuss it very much. We decided a long time ago that our firstborn son would be named after my DH... Terrance LaMonte. I call him Terry so we'll probably call the baby T.J. (for Terry Jr.) if it's a boy. You could always use family names (I don't think you can ever go wrong there)... and something like Preston

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 01-13-2005 - 2:06pm

I replied this post to you above...

Maybe stop by the PARENT SOUP baby names board and post your naming dilema there. You will get responses from people who know alot aboout baby names! and they like "name challenges"!

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-psbabynames

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2003
Thu, 01-13-2005 - 2:36pm

Hi,


I'm in an interracial marriage as well.

Mommy to Lawson Michael Binghua - born 8/8/06
miscarriage in November 2007 at 7 weeks
miscarriage in April 2008 at 8 weeks

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2005
Thu, 01-13-2005 - 2:38pm
Thank you so much for your reply. I really didn't anticipate so much conflict over our son's name but it's happened that way. My DH's name is Eddie (Edward) and that's also his father's name. He doesn't want an Edward the 3rd so that's kind of out. We agreed on a lot of names until we found out it was for sure a boy and it's been down hill ever since. He really wants an "athlete" and would like our son to have a "catchy" name like Tiger Woods. But my opinion is that that's what nicknames are for. My DH loves the name Braylon (however, I believe this to be a made up name and I don't like the way it's spelled or flows w/ our last name Sampson.) He's also suggested Stryker, and Stromile, but I don't think he was serious. (At least I hope he wasn't.) I've suggested Elijah, Isaac, Isaiah b/c I think they sound not so "white" but he's not really feeling those names. I also went to the babynames.com site and pulled a list of african-american, african, hawaiian, & japanese names that I liked and he didn't like any of the names. I'm just a little frustrated w/ his attitude about the situation. And when I suggest names like Elijah Alexander, or Luke Charles (DH's middle name) he looks at me like I've just offended him in the worst way. I'm going to print your response and have him read it. Hopefully he'll have a change of heart.
thanks again
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Thu, 01-13-2005 - 5:35pm

I kinda like the Name Preston Orion (Orion is pronouced o'ryan) It gives you sturdy family name along with an unusual name. Maybe you both could compromise with an unusual name matched with a more common name. HTH!

Jill