New problem with a name DH likes, help

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2005
New problem with a name DH likes, help
8
Tue, 12-27-2005 - 10:38am

DH and I are still talking about names for this baby, boy #3. This weekend he came to me with 2 names he really likes, but he knows there are issues with these names.

FIrst one was Luke (not sure if he wants Luke or Lucas). I have a cousin with a 4 year old son named Luke. I see her only at family functions like weddings, funerals, grad parties, ect. I do like the name Luke and would not be totally opposed to using it, but wonder if the boys ages would be too close.

The second name is Nicholas. Here is where the REAL problem is. My sister and her DH are trying to concieve and have been for a few years. They have their names picked out already......Elizabeth for a girl and Nicholas David(?) for a boy. DH knows this already and that is where we are stuck. Nicholas is not my first choice for a name, but DH really seems to like this one but we feel that the name is already "reserved".

Any thoughts on this? I personally think we can't use Nicholas at all, knowing my sister. What are your thoughts on this and our other name choice?

Theresa
Mom to:
Brendan Ryan (3--soon to be 4 in about 2 weeks!)
Aaron Michael (2)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Tue, 12-27-2005 - 12:03pm

I personally don't believe in this "reserving names" business, but since you feel it's wrong and don't really care for the name Nicholas in the first place, I wouldn't use it. Luke/Lucas is nice and I don't think it's a big deal for you to use it if you only see that cousin with the ds named Luke only occassionally, no matter how close in age they will be! Lots of families do that on purpose, like my friend who is Greek...every first born boy on her father's side of the family is named Stavros (Steve) including her brother so she has something like 5 first cousins named Steve!!!

Good luck!
~Mona~

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Tue, 12-27-2005 - 2:02pm

I think it would be really really rude to use Nicholas when you already know your sister has planned on using it if she would have a boy. maybe she won't ever have a boy and won't ever get to use it, but that's tough. she has made it known it's the name she'd want and to me, you can't take that name from your own sister

I have mixed feelings on the cousin thing. personally, I wouldn't use any name alraedy used anywhere in the family - 5th cousins or beyond, but that's just me

there are plenty of names out there, keep looking.

good luck

Avatar for mianator
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2003
Tue, 12-27-2005 - 2:10pm

My brother used my baby boy name (Adam), and we're ok. I wasn't pregnant at the time or anything. DH was a bit upset, but we decided that if we ever had a boy, and we still really liked the name and couldn't find another one, we would still use it because they would have different last names.

I wouldn't use Nicholas though, because you said you really didn't like it. Is your sister the type to get upset? My sister picked out her baby names before she was pregnant, and in my mind, those names were out of the running (now they are my niece and nephew). I think you'd be ok using Luke/Lucas though. It's ok to use a name after someone else has, that can be considered a compliment I would think.

Chantel

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2005
Tue, 12-27-2005 - 2:55pm

I might use Luke or Lucas as long as the last names are different. As for Nicholas, I would leave that name for my sister.

Good luck!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2005
Tue, 12-27-2005 - 5:01pm
Re: Luke, I would not worry about it, especially if you hardly ever see them...BUT, re: you sister...I can totally relate to the situation. Being that it took my husband and I several years to conceive, I would have been pretty upset if someone close took advantage of the name before I could...whether it is fair or not, she will likely feel more discouraged about her situation and it will grate on her even more that if only she could have conceived sooner. I would talk to her and be sure that she still intends to use this name and that you are trying to keep her feelings in mind. Let her tell you how imprtant it is to her. She may have changed her mind about the name...GOOD LUCK.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2005
Tue, 12-27-2005 - 8:51pm

I've been through infertility. Please do not use Nicholas. I cannot describe to you the pain of having everyone around you conceive easily, carry pregancies to term easily, and hold beautiful babies in their arms. The pain of waiting with hope every month and having your period come month after month...I won't go on.

I think Luke is a great name. Lucas not so much. (Always makes me think of mucus.) I say run it by your cousin. If you don't see her much she may just be flattered.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Tue, 12-27-2005 - 10:22pm

Personally, I think you should go back to the drawing board. Think up something special for your little man that he can have to himself and you won't have to worry about offending anyone.

Crystal

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2004
Tue, 12-27-2005 - 11:29pm

I would use Luke/Lucas if you like it; I like Jonathan but DH has a young cousin w/ that name...we only see him on holidays so I don't think it's a big deal but DH won't go for it.


I would not use Nicholas. For one, you aren't even that jazzed about it. Secondly, if one of my family members knew of a name I planned to use and "stole" it for their child, I would be amazingly ticked off.


GL! I personally like both names :)




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