WDYT?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2005
WDYT?
7
Sun, 10-29-2006 - 2:04pm

I know that I've asked this before, but a few months have gone by - and could use your opinion.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2006
In reply to: cl_donalyn370
Sun, 10-29-2006 - 8:48pm

It's not easy to give advice about this, because it's such a personal decision. I admit I'm very biased. I probably won't be able to try for my second until I'm 37...which will give me a 3 year old at age 40.

I think Gabriela will be fine without a younger sibling, so I wouldn't worry about that. I'm one of a trio, and in my experience the youngest is never lacking in attention. The real issue is how badly you and your DH want another baby. "Baby fever" is hard to cure. If you don't try now, you may find yourself at 40 wishing you had tried when you were 36/37. On the other hand, if you really feel your family is complete as is, then the future won't bring you any regrets.

I'm not helpful at all, am I? If you think you'd be happy either way, but just can't decide, you could always leave it up to fate. Play baby roulette--the 'not trying, but not preventing' thing--for 3 months and see what happens.

Hugs,
Allie


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2006
In reply to: cl_donalyn370
Sun, 10-29-2006 - 9:10pm

I don't have kids, so I guess I'm not too qualified here! But your post reminded me of a conversation my family had recently. I'm the middle of 3 girls, and my mom mentioned for the first time that she sometimes wishes she'd had another child, boy or girl. It was random, and my dad was surprised and felt kinda bad because I guess they'd never discussed it much. But of course it may be the empty-nest talking b/c my little sister just moved out into her own place!

I don't think it would be bad at all to have a 3-year-old at 40, except that you'll be at least 55 by the time he/she was out of the house! But since it would be your youngest that shouldn't keep you from having another if you really want. Like pp, I am probably no help at all! But I thought I'd toss those things out for you to think about. Good luck! BTW, your girls are beautiful!

Liz

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
In reply to: cl_donalyn370
Mon, 10-30-2006 - 12:56pm
I had my kids at 34 and 39, and have a 3 year old at age 42! It is fine... I don't think age matters. I think what you should ask yourself is do you want to deal with diapers, etc. again. DH and I have talked about having another child, even at my "advanced maternal age", but we decided against it simply because we like being free from diapers and able to do lots more things as a family without an infant. And we are happy with just the 2 kids... if either of us had a burning desire to have another one we would go for it... because you don't want to wonder "what if?" later.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
In reply to: cl_donalyn370
Mon, 10-30-2006 - 2:58pm
I only have one child so far, but my husband and I agree that we want at least three. He says we will just take it one baby at a time. I do not think that you should have another one just for your youngest girl. After all, if you used this argument, you would be in the same situation everytime you have another. Someone is always going to the youngest. I will say that I have never met a person who has said "I wish I would have had one less child" but I have met several who have said "I wish I would have had one more." After all, a child is always welcome in a loving family. I also would not let your age affect your decision, if mother nature had a problem with a 37 year old pregnant mother, it wouldn't be possible, and who are we to question nature?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2005
In reply to: cl_donalyn370
Mon, 10-30-2006 - 4:57pm
In regard to the child feeling left out, an age difference doesn't have to matter. I am eight and six years younger than my sisters, and we are all very close. I never really felt left out being that much younger. :)

AJ, enjoying life with C.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
In reply to: cl_donalyn370
Mon, 10-30-2006 - 6:27pm

As a pp mentioned, many people regret not having one more child, but you never (or very, very rarely LOL) hear someone say they regret having one. Do you think you might regret not having a fourth? If so, you may have your answer. ;)

FWIW, having a three-year-old at age 40 isn't all that different from having a five- or six-year-old (or however old Gabriella would be then LOL), KWIM? You just take things in stride.

~Kelli


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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
In reply to: cl_donalyn370
Tue, 10-31-2006 - 9:31pm

I am 39 and just had a baby girl...my 4th child.
I feel a little "old" but I still got a few years left on me...
I might even have more!

go for it!

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