who's last name???? HELP!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2006
who's last name???? HELP!!!!
4
Sat, 09-09-2006 - 1:30pm

Here is my next problem.....My bf and I are having a baby but have no plans to marry. We are discussing which last name to use....his or mine??? I would love your opinions on this! Thanks:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2004
Sat, 09-09-2006 - 8:56pm
IMO, if you don't see yourself marrying the father, the baby should have your last name. That's just my first thought not knowing the details of the situation. For instance, is the father going to be a part of the baby's life? What is his opinion? In general, I think it's nice for the family in the same household (under one roof) to have the same last name unless there's a good reason not to. If your baby will live with you (and you will be his/her primary family), it would be nice for him/her to have your last name. HTH!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Sat, 09-09-2006 - 11:19pm

No plans to marry = your last name, IMO.

It's different if you're planning on getting married soon after the baby's born, but if not, you never know what could happen. If you don't end up together -- and especially if your bf ends up being an absent father -- you may want your child to share you ln. Also, if you don't end up staying together and you marry and/or have other children in the future, you'll almost definitely want your child to have the same ln as you, your dh and other children, so I'd stick with your ln. As I understand it, it's very easy for the baby to take on its father's ln if you do end up marrying, and I think it's just as easy to change from your maiden name to your new husband's ln if you marry someone else, but I think you may need the father to agree to a name change (absent or not) if the child is going from his ln to your new husband's. Others on here have more info on this if you're interested.

HTH

~Kelli


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2005
Sun, 09-10-2006 - 9:53am
Yours. If you are going to have primary custody, he should have your last name. It's just easier and less confusing. If you eventually wind up marrying your boyfriend, it's easy enough to change your baby's last name if/when you change yours. But in the meantime, it's simpler to just give him your name.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2006
Sun, 09-10-2006 - 10:56am

I agree with the others - for all the same reasons!

The only thing I'd add... if you bf isn't too excited about using your ln, perhaps you could hyphenate the names? Legally, baby would have both, but for every-day use, baby would have yours. Just an idea.