Would you do it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2006
Would you do it?
12
Thu, 04-05-2007 - 1:36pm

I am due May 28th with a boy and DBF REALLY wants to name our baby Krystopher since that is his name.

HOWEVER he was in a previous relationship with a girl who had brain cancer and was told she couldn't have children but somehow came up pregnant and ultimately had to end the pregnancy because it was making her cancer worse. She had aggreed to name that baby Krystopher Thomas and I feel kind of weird about it because of that whole situation.

I want our son to be a "true" JR. so he would have a different middle name then their baby would have. Is this all too weird? At first I was completly opposed to this but have since had a change of heart on my own terms. Wondering what you girls think?


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Avatar for midwestmom2000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 04-05-2007 - 1:52pm

Personally, I wouldn't.

But, you should do what you're comfortable with. If you like Krystopher and don't have any bad associations, go for it. Does he go by the full name? What would you call the baby - middle name, nickname, jr? Would your DBF like it as a middle name?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2006
Thu, 04-05-2007 - 2:15pm

I tried to get him to be okay with that being the middle name but he wanted no part in that.

The baby we would call Krys, or Little Krys or Junior or maybe even J.R.!!


Avatar for midwestmom2000
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 04-05-2007 - 3:21pm
If you pair it with a C middle name - you could use K.C. (Kasey) as a nn. I think that's very cute. Not sure if it would work for you, since you said you wanted to use your DBFs exact name. But it's an idea. Good luck! :)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2006
Thu, 04-05-2007 - 3:44pm

I wouldn't do it.

Kim
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2006
Thu, 04-05-2007 - 4:04pm
I never knew the girl and his wanting to name the baby that is in no way an attempt to replace that baby. He just wants to use his name to use his name. And his name came from his Mother's maiden name which is Krystofiak. SO.....???? I am just at a loss

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Thu, 04-05-2007 - 4:17pm

Aborted or not, I can't imagine ever naming my child the same name as my SO's child from a previous relationship. The fact that the child DIDN'T live only makes it worse. Like he either a) feels the need to replace that lost child with yours, or b) feels that the previous child was worthless, since they chose to end his life, so his name doesn't "count."

I know that probably won't come across as I mean it, but hopefull you'll get the idea.

If you BOTH honestly want to name this child for him in some way, perhaps something similar, but not the exact same name, would do. Christian, for example. Or even something more removed, like Crispin.

Anything but the name of his dead child. JMHO

HTH


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 04-05-2007 - 10:11pm

My first instinct is that I wouldn't do it but as I think about it more, I guess it would depend on the circumstances.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2006
Fri, 04-06-2007 - 8:53am
I wouldn't do it personally for two reasons. The first I do believe it would be a little strange and I would be afraid that I would have thought of the previous woman with cancer everytime I looked at my child. The second reason is that I just don't like naming children after other family members. However, I know that many people do and it is a very nice gesture. Do what you are comfortable with.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2006
Fri, 04-06-2007 - 9:27am

Nope.

siggy
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2006
Fri, 04-06-2007 - 9:37am

Thanks for your thoughts! I appreciate any and all input.... positive or negative!

I don't know a ton about the situation with the ex, just that she was probably 3 months or so along and was told she could proceed with the pregnancy but she would have a chance of needing another surgery after the baby came, she didn't want to do that so she aborted and then ended up having to have the surgery anyway. From what I understand it was heartbreaking for DBF and she treated him poorly after this happened and that is what caused them to break up.

Sadly she passed away last fall.


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