Annoyed with parents - naming MY baby

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Annoyed with parents - naming MY baby
24
Mon, 02-19-2007 - 7:29pm

We just found out I'm pregnant, so my parents ask me if we have any names picked out. I tell them Zachary is a possiblity, and my step-father rolls his eyes. Days later I tell my mom we're thinking of Maxwell Paul or Elizabeth Mae. She thinks the girl's name is "okay" but hates Maxwell Paul. The name for a girl SHE likes is Aubrey Lynn, after my grandfather (and my middle name). First, I'm annoyed they're being so negative and think they'll only like a name that THEY pick out. Second, I'm annoyed with myself for caring so much what they think about it. I don't want them to hate their grandchild's name and I know my parents, they'll give me heck about the name for years.

My husband doesn't care what they think, but it's like now there's a grey cloud over these names, and it's name is grandparent.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Mon, 02-19-2007 - 8:18pm

Grandparents tend to think it's all about them ... meanies! ;) They've already named their own children, but they want a crack at yours as well.

Simple solution: stop telling them what names you're considering. Or, if you really want to have some fun, only "share" the most outrageous, ridiculous names you can think of. That way, when you really name her Elizabeth, for example, they'll just be glad it's not really Raynbough Goo-Goo Bean.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-18-2004
Mon, 02-19-2007 - 8:44pm
Thanks. I love that idea. Raynbough gave me a big laugh. Thanks again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Mon, 02-19-2007 - 8:49pm
You're welcome ... always glad to lighten the mood. ;) Feel free to "steal" Raynbough. Your mom should love that one. hehe

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2006
Mon, 02-19-2007 - 9:01pm

Yep, I agree with that advice. Don't tell people your names ahead of time!! Just smile and sweetly say, "That part's a secret, we'll tell you after he/she is here ... " then change the subject.

The funny thing is, I'll probably be that kind of Gramma, lol! I just love naming babies and don't have enough to use up all the names I like so have already (jokingly) told my kids what they should name their babies.


Darla
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Tue, 02-20-2007 - 5:11am
I had the exact same problem with my parents. I told my mother the names we had picked out and she immediately hated it and changed it to what she wanted. She was ok with the first but wanted me to put my grandmothers middle name, which did not go at all with the first name, so I would of had to change the whole name altogether. It bothered me for a while, but then I just told her " We like it and that's what matters, if you don't like it I'm sorry but to bad" She still wanted me to change it but she eventually got used to the idea that it was ultimately our decision and we had made up our minds. In the end it didn't matter, because we're having a boy not a girl. She so badly wanted a girl, we wanted a boy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Tue, 02-20-2007 - 4:45pm
hello!! well, youve probably already gotten this advice, but ill repeat it-its your kid, name them what you want. the only 2 that have to agree are you and your hubby-the grandparents dont get a say-theyve already had their kids-sorry charlie-that fun is over for them. my father absolutely HATED my oldest dds name-violet-he tried to get me to change my mind-but in the end, i named her violet and now hes there with everyone else that says he likes the name and it suits her. i wasnt loving my sisters choice when it came to her child-sarah-but now she uses it to talk about the baby and i use it too and its stuck in my mind. if this baby turns out to be a boy, im probably going to slip and keep calling him sarah-lol. but anyway, this is your child-if they want to make a big deal out of the name choices, then boo to them-if they liked the names so much, they should have used them before...or they can tell you what they like, but they shouldnt try to get you to change your mind based on their opinions. take care!!
joanne
maman2goons@aol.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-11-2006
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 12:59pm
I completely understand that. My mom has tried and tried again to force my fiance and I to pick a name she likes instead of a name that he and I picked out. Finally, I just politely said "thanks, but no thanks" and went on to tell her that he and I were the parents and had to agree on the appropriate name for our 2nd child. I doubt your mom has issues with the names you're picking, you could pick the most beautiful name and she'd still put it down only because its NOT a name SHE picked out. Don't be rude, but do stand your ground.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 1:25pm

Best advice I can give you is to pick your names and keep them to yourselves!
Really. It is so hard. Not everyone is going to love your choices (when they can still be changed too much can be said). Instead come up with two names that you can give people when they ask (Pick names you don't plan on using anyway). That will keep people happy.

Then keep the names you want a secret between you & your hubby. Once that little one is born they will LOVE (trust me) whatever name they grow into.

I know from experience how hard it can be. We named our daughter Chapel Elizabeth. She is now 4 and it suits her beautifully. The very people who hated it when they first heard her name adore it now. Our son is Sean Thomas and that seemed to be ok with everyone. No matter what someone is going to have something to say.

Good luck to you!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2004
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 3:41pm

My mother has already started telling me what I can't name my children before I've even married my fiance, not to mention I'm not even pregnant (hopefully) yet! My mother and father have names starting with the letter P and named all three of their children with names beginning with P. She has forbid me to name any child of mine with a name beginning with P. Well.. I'm getting married to a guy who's name is Peter. If we ever have a boy it's being named after him. For a girl we both like the name Petra (which is a feminine form of Peter btw). It's something we had discussed long before my mother layed down the law on what I could or could not name my kids. I figure I'll break the news to her after the child is legaly stuck with whatever name myself and the babies father think is appropriate for our child. As much as she would love to have a say in the matter, she doesn't, nor will she ever. We've already decided that if she asks what we're naming our future children once the time comes to actually be naming them that we'll just tell her some random name to keep her happy.

Turdle

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2007
Mon, 02-26-2007 - 9:44pm

I can't help but laugh at the idea of telling my family fake names for the baby, that idea never occured to me.

I do have to agree with the others though, just don't tell them what your choices are. We did that recently with our third child. I was tired of both sides of the family wanting us to name the baby after a relative plus someone always hates every name you choose so we just didn't tell anyone. It became a game for everyone to play, we gave everyone the number of letters and they'd see who could guess what it would be. Since the day Jessica Marley was born, each person we've told the name to has had nothing but nice things to say.




Edited 2/26/2007 9:57 pm ET by cosmicfawn

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