Annoyed with parents - naming MY baby
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| Mon, 02-19-2007 - 7:29pm |
We just found out I'm pregnant, so my parents ask me if we have any names picked out. I tell them Zachary is a possiblity, and my step-father rolls his eyes. Days later I tell my mom we're thinking of Maxwell Paul or Elizabeth Mae. She thinks the girl's name is "okay" but hates Maxwell Paul. The name for a girl SHE likes is Aubrey Lynn, after my grandfather (and my middle name). First, I'm annoyed they're being so negative and think they'll only like a name that THEY pick out. Second, I'm annoyed with myself for caring so much what they think about it. I don't want them to hate their grandchild's name and I know my parents, they'll give me heck about the name for years.
My husband doesn't care what they think, but it's like now there's a grey cloud over these names, and it's name is grandparent.

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I had that problem at first, and then after i realized how annoying everyone was being trying to name my baby, i just started saying i dont know, and when we see the baby, we'll decide then. People eventually just stopped suggesting after that. lol. My best friend named her daughter MaKayla and wanted me to name mine MaKenna, so they could be matching, and I said it depends on if she LOOKS like a MaKenna and when we finally picked the name, we kept it to ourselves until she popped out.
Christie
That's awful! I really feel for you. I could see my husband's family dong the same type thing though. I sometimes feel that nothing I do is ever going to suit them.
Here is my suggestion - Is there another first name that you and your husband both love and agree on? If I were you, I would tell his parents that since they are so disrepectful of YOUR choice, even though you were trying to follow their tradition, you and your husband have decided on another first name, to go with your maiden name as the middle name. Then, stand your ground and show them you are serious. This should make them realize how important THEIR tradition really is to them. If it is important, they should be willing to accept the middle name YOU choose (your maiden name) and agree to call your beatiful baby by that name. If it is not important to them, they will have to accept that you and your husband will decide on another first name all together, one that you both love.
I would tell them, it's their tradition and if they choose to break it, it will be broken all the way. You and your husband will make sure of that - and it will be broken on your terms - you will not be willing to agree to the tradition if you feel they are not going to stick to it. It sounds like they are already ruining the tradition for the two of you anyway.
If they do come around, and you decide to carry on the tradition, tell them you appreciate their acceptance and hope they will be faithful to the tradition, as you and your husband have been by using the traditional first name. If they do call your son by the first name instead of your maiden name after he's born, politely remind them "He goes by (maiden name)." This will not only reinforce the promise that you all made to each other (that you and your husband have kept) but it will also remind them that they are breaking the promise they made to the two of you each and every time they use the first name. I guess my suggestion is all about laying the guilt on them any way you can!
Hope that helps and Good luck!
awww c'mon, you stole my name!
how'd you know i loved that name! lol
how in the world did you think of that one? hahaha
(that names out there guess i'll go with one of my other faves,
Muune Bymme, Zpahrquelle, Twighlah Daughn)
(and Jodie Foster/Nell already took Tayay Enna Wynne)
For our most recent addition (#4), we not only kept it a secret for the first time ever, but we also used a fake name that everyone knew was a fake hehehe. Although, my mom, not knowing *what* dh and I would come up with, was truly worried for a while that our fake name was really our real name :D. We didn't know (again for the first time) if we were having a boy or a girl, which drove my mom crazy :D. But all was well in the end and we got absolutely no grief over any of name selections. We didn't even tell the kids, so they were surprised, too. I think we'll continue this way of doing things, should we have any more kids.
Amy :-) dw to Jerry; CPST and HS Mom to 4 great kids
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