babies - how many?

Avatar for dinahgreene
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2003
babies - how many?
15
Wed, 02-16-2005 - 10:01am
ok, this may be the wrong place to post, but i come to this board most frequently and value the fb. i've noticed a lot of moms have many kids. my question is gauche, but, financially, hoe do you do it? my dh makes a good living, but he's away a lot and i stay ar home with one baby. we did want many, but can't see how to do it. for those w/ lots of kids are you just loaded with money or do your kids go w/out? how will you pay for 6 college tuitions? clothes, vacations, a house big enough? cars! food! do you all work full time? i think 2 is all we can afford and live comfortably. if anyone wouln't mind responding i'd love to hear your advice/story

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 02-16-2005 - 11:11am

Good question. I've had a similar one for years. Money is neither here nor there really, to me. I think it's quite possibly good to be one of six siblings and not have tennis shoes in every color to match every outfit. It won't hurt the kids to work and buy a car or co-op through college either. We can afford to give our kids these things, and we're still thinking we'll make them "earn" them. If a big family is wealthy, I suppose that's even better.

I had/have a different concern... Quality time. We stopped with two because we simply couldn't see a way to give them the time/attention/support they would require, and we like time alone with each other. Maybe my family is just too busy, or we strive too hard for perfection, but I still don't see how big families do it today! It's all we can do (my husband & I) to get our two where they're supposed to be on time (games, lessons) and still get all the homework done. Then when you add in supper, baths, laundry...ARGH!...we're constantly looking for creative ways to squeeze in private family time. We have one date night each week too, regardless! That became four times as hard to fit in with the birth of #2!

So, while money should be of some concern, (since I do not advocate kids starving to death), I wonder- how do they do it...and do it well? Funny though, my dh and I watched the 10 year birthday story of the septuplets on t.v. a few weeks ago. When it was over, WE felt inadequate! Their parents are amazing...

Later, Ginger

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Wed, 02-16-2005 - 12:20pm

have any of you ever gotten the feeling on here with some of the posters who are supposedly on # 6, 7, 8, 9 etc. that it's a hoax, also some of the ones that claim they are on their second set of triplets etc? I don't mean to be cruel, but there are some occasional posts that I feel are baby name addicts who are just fooling around on here. I'm sure there really are some familes with the 6 children, but if you look at percentages of families in this country in this era with large numbers of children, the number of people who post on this baby name board with large numbers of children is really out of proportion to the general population. I unfortunately really believe some of them to be making it up.

That said, for the ones who really do have 5, 6, 7, 8 or more etc. I agree with both previous posters - it's not only money, but having time for them.

there was one particular poster a little over a year ago who was having triplets, and was more or less caught up in some inconsistent posts and called on it by a few other posters who realized she wasn't really having triplets. then she showed up two months after they were born saying she was pregnant again. she kind of didn't last long with that post because many people didn't believe her, but I believe there are several screen names posting on this board who are that original person. you can kind of tell by the kinds of names, the having babies really close together (one that I felt was her claimed to be planning the next one just one week after a birth of one).

in reality, how many of you know actual young families with more than four children? I know a few, but really, there aren't many.

Avatar for devonelisa
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-17-2005 - 9:40am

Some of them definitely are fakes.

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Avatar for trblx2x3
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2003
Thu, 02-17-2005 - 10:17am

Okay, I admit I'm addicted to baby names. My husband says that's why we have so many kids. The real reason, though, is that we have a Biblical conviction against birth control.

We have six little girls, and a week from today #7 will be born by c-section (also a girl, and I've never in my life had as much trouble picking out a name as I'm having with this one).

How do we afford it? My husband is an independent contractor. He lays tile. I teach English at the local community college, so I only work 12 hours a week, but make pretty good money. I also work as a substitute for the local school district every once in a while, but I don't really enjoy it. We're careful with our money. If we go out to eat, the girls drink water (unless milk is an option; I don't like to spend a ton of money for them to drink soda, which I don't approve of except for very special occasions), and they never get a happy meal, which helps save money. The best thing we've ever done to save money is get rid of cable. Now all the girls can watch on tv are the dvds we rent. Now, without advertising, they don't ask for much of anything, and when we ask what they want for Christmas or a birthday, they haven't got a clue. It's wonderful! People often bring us big bags of clothes, and I find a lot of cute things in those bags. Actually, we have way too many clothes, and I have a very hard time keeping up with laundry. Big expenses, like the mortgage and utility bills and gas for the car, don't change much no matter how many children we have. Our children just aren't as spoiled as most kids are now. Remember, each child does NOT need his or her own bedroom.

As for spending quality time with the kids, that's not an issue at all. Quality time doesn't have to be one-on-one time, although the girls do get that, just not as often as children from a small family might. We eat dinner together, play video games and board games (we got an xbox for Christmas, and the girls love to watch each other play), read books, watch movies, go for walks, go to church. I think quality time is anytime you spend together as a family, even if you're just washing dishes. Besides that, the girls get lots of quality time with each other. It's not just two adults trying to spend lots of quality time with a bunch of little ones. I'd expect that alone time would be a bigger problem in our house, but so far, nobody's complaining. Maybe they're just too young?

I would encourage anybody (who isn't a drug addict or child abuser or single mother, etc.) to have more than two children. No offense, but I can't imagine having only two, even though I grew up with just one sister.

~Kyndra, mommy to Zoe 9, Eve 8, Sophia 6, Juliet 5, Tabitha 3, Clara 2, and Baby Gumdrop scheduled c/s 2-24

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2005
Thu, 02-17-2005 - 10:20am
My name is Jennifer and DH and I are expecting #3. Our life is good. No, we are not millionaires but we have a nice house and 2 nice cars. Our kids do not go without, if anything, they are pretty spoiled. My husband makes good money so I can stay home and do the "susie homemaker" stuff. I love it. Believe me we never have a boring household. My sister-in-law has one DD and they are thinking about having another one but are nervous too because it's just been the 3 of them for 5 years. Some people aren't cut out to have a house full of kids I know lots of only children who are just fine. We just set back a certain amount in our kids bank accounts a month for college,it doesn't break us. I am 23 and my DH is 25. My parents were not able to pay for my college so that is something I'll be able to do in a couple years. Well HTH.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Thu, 02-17-2005 - 12:47pm

Oh my, I don't do any other boards (since I admittedly am just a baby name addict and now a grandmother, so I don't really have a need to be on these boards, just got hooked on this one when my daughter was trying to name baby girl # 2 in Aug. of 03.)

anyhow, (and this message is for Devon, from your post) - I have not run into the one you're talking about, but that's AWFUL!

I'm glad someone on here also sees that some of the posters are fakes. I don't want to name any particular ones, but they usually involve multiple births, children born very close together, and are often, but not always, highly concentrated on the Irish-type names. she has several she uses frequently, and comes up with new ones about every other week.

anyhow, you're little Phoebe is adorable. I like that name. It was one I suggested in Aug. '03.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2003
Thu, 02-17-2005 - 4:11pm
Finances aside....we have two children, 8 & 10, and the older they get, the busier we are. And our children AREN'T overscheduled. It's just that nowadays, school work, plus one extra activity for each child leave few precious minutes for anything else! I only work 2 days/week as a school nurse, and my husband and I are meeting ourselves coming and going sometimes. I think a lot of people like the idea of "babies" (who doesn't), but they do grow and will need more of your time and energy.
Avatar for devonelisa
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 02-17-2005 - 5:09pm

The Irish-y names sounds more like the 'Heather' one, she also likes 'kre8tiv' and modern sounding names.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2003
Thu, 02-17-2005 - 5:36pm

Devon,


I know exactly who you mean regarding the one with the multiple set of triplets and the dh who comes on and posts.

Mommy to Lawson Michael Binghua - born 8/8/06
miscarriage in November 2007 at 7 weeks
miscarriage in April 2008 at 8 weeks

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Fri, 02-18-2005 - 12:31pm

Devon, in response to your post - in Aug. of '03 my daughter ended up using Sienna.

She also has Delaney, who is 20 months older - they are now 3 and 1-1/2.

hopefully this topic and the responses might scare off some of the imposters.

good luck on your next one.

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