Black name white name do they differ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2006
Black name white name do they differ?
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Sun, 06-04-2006 - 9:17pm
It is very difficult for me to find a name for my child in fear of her being discriminated against. Yes, there are people out there who discriminate against you based on your name. Here is an example. I told a co-worker I wanted to name by baby girl KAMEA (menaing precioius one Pronounced Ka-MAY-ah.) My Co-worker said she would never get an interview with that name. Although she was laughing I was offended. I have discussion boards on this website as well as other websites. I wanted to know what people thought of the names that are very common within my African Heritage. I wanted opinions I did not want to be judged. I was very open to criticism but not in a bias way. I have already been discriminated against and judged. I even tried to mix the names I have choosen with middle names (society not myself would consider white) Like Elizabeth and Marie. Most people may not want to admit to this but my Ethnicity and others do have a different style of names. I did not appreciate being told that the names I chosen were trashy and made up. Just because a name is unfamiliar to you does not make it made up. The names that I have chosen all have meanings to them. No, I am not over reacting, I was very hurt by some of the replys I have recieved.


Edited 6/4/2006 9:23 pm ET by kymiah7060

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Sun, 06-04-2006 - 9:36pm

To answer your question, yes, sometimes.

Whether you like it or not, names do influence how others perceive you especially before they get a chance to really know you. Trashiness is very subjective and hard to pin down but we all can think of names that bring this image to mind as well as names we think of as high class or even royal. These assumptions are based on all sorts of things: cultural, racial, socio-economic, religous, etc. What is trashy to you may or may not be trashy to me. But you can bet by choosing a name that is very specific is cultural identification, your child will get the best and worst that offers them. They will get strong cultural identification -- this can be good but it can also be negative (as you have seen on this board...whether it is right or wrong really isn't the issue. It simply is. If you want your child to have every opportunity in every situation, choosing name that isn't so clearly culturally identifying is a better choice. If this doesn't matter to you (and if you don't mind your child having to deal with a life filled with negative assumptions based solely on her name, choose whatever name you want. But don't say I didn't warn you.

The fact is, this is a message board where all opinions are fair. You may not like the responses you get, but never forget you asked for them. If you only want positive repsonses, say this clearly in your original post and most likely, people will respect that. I hope I haven't offended further. Just trying to bring both sides to the table. Oh, and by the way I have 2 black friends named Ann Smith and Ebony Okugado and both are gorgeous, very accomplished women! I just think Ebony has had to work harder against stereotypes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2006
Sun, 06-04-2006 - 10:41pm

The short answer is yes. There is a definite difference between 'Black' names and 'White' names. Obviously, some names overlap and there are certainly exceptions to the rule. But I will tell you this, at the risk of being persecuted for it, when I read your other post, I pretty much got the impression that you are black, or have some African heritage. It has also been proven that people with names that sound black, have a harder time getting job interviews. Is that a total injustice? ABSOLUTELY! But it is also a fact, and who knows how long it will be a problem. That is probably what your co-worker was talking about.


I also agree that there are no right or wrong answers here. You asked for opinions and you got them. I am sorry if you were offended, or if the opinions were expressed harshly, but they are just opinions. Ignore them if you want, but everyone is entitled to their opinion.


As for my opinions, I have to agree that I dislike names that are also words in general. Names like Chastity, Honor and even Grace (which happens to be my neice's name) are problematic because what if Chastity isn't chaste, or Grace isn't graceful? And I must also admit that a name like Serenity makes me think of a stripper. I am sorry if that offends you. It is a pretty word, and a pretty idea, but it makes me think of a stripper, which I guess you could say is trashy. Then the question to you is, do you care? Do you care if people might think of a stripper when they hear your daughter's name? You don't have to. You can love the name and go with it regardless of what people think.


Personally, I care. My all time favorite name is Delilah. Unfortunately, that name evokes lots of negative thoughts - strippers, whores, deceit. As you can tell, that is not what I named my daughter, even though I absolutely love it! If I heard someone with the name Delilah, or if I heard someone say they are naming their child Delilah, I would say "oh you are so lucky, it is beautiful!! I am jealous!" Call me a coward, but I am just not brave enough to name my child something that is so closely associated with strippers and whores. (And it doesn't help that there is a strip club called Delilah's Den somewhere near where I live) Of course, then there is the radio personality Delilah, and she doesn't seem the least bit unsavory. So I guess the point is that it is a personal decision, and you need to take other people's opinions with a grain of salt. but you also have to keep in mind that your child will not live in a vacuum so if EVERYONE is telling you something, you might want to listen. If a couple people on the internet say it, but your friends and family love it, then ignore us. KWIM?

Meg

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2005
Mon, 06-05-2006 - 12:13am

Yes and No. When a parent attaches a name with a strong cultural identity a judgment will be made by the reader. If you feel that connection is desirable, then the name choice is made easy for you. If you are simply railing against snap-judgements and prejudice, well nothing can be done in this case.


There are lots of names which conjure up cultural identities, not just African-based names. I'm thinking Asian (Ming), Indian (Muhammad), Eastern European (Vladimir), Arab (Fatima), etc. Further, and by no means am I lumping these together, but stand-out or truly identity-connected names will carry the same stigma. I'm thinking Elvis, Adolph, or Fifi

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2006
Mon, 06-05-2006 - 12:59am

there are stereotypes because people dont want people of color expressing their heritage in such ways as names. it is preferred that we assimilate ourselves and our children and that assimilation begins with giving them non-ethnic names.

a name like Shaniqua is a cool name, and is very popular among black-american women and girls. It is almost isntantly identifiable as Black, and honestly, I like that about it. Some of the names people create, in any race, are just ridiculous. The spellings, the lack of meaning, it all bugs me. And some people choosing regular objects to name their kids (like Apple or Denim-- a white mother and black mother) are equally weird (in my opinion).

i want my son and daughter ( to have a name that reflects our cultural heritage. I cant believe I shying away from so-called "black" names just to avoid stereotypes or people discriminating against my child (which will happen). If I have a girl, she will be called KAMEA (Female - Hawaiian)
Precious One Pronounced Ka-MAY-ah.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Mon, 06-05-2006 - 8:38am
it sounds like you've already decided...no need to continue this thread.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2006
Mon, 06-05-2006 - 8:52am
I want to delete the other threads, but not sure how...
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-09-2005
Mon, 06-05-2006 - 9:10am
I'm sorry if I may have offended in my comments, but I was just trying to give my honest opinion. I didn't think that you would get so upset as you haven't actually used the name and I wouldn't think that there would be any attachment. However, I am sorry that I hurt your feelings.

                             
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2005
Mon, 06-05-2006 - 10:25am

I happen to like Kamea! It is very pretty. And, if you like it, use it. I am caucasian, and when I was pregnant with my dd I wanted to name her Jacinta. Nobody liked it! I was told by some that it was a "black" name even though it's Spanish, which did not bother me, I just loved the name. But, I do think there are stereotypes out there of what "whites" should name their kids. I don't like that at all as I've always kinda liked unusual names. And, I think someone who is black should be able to name their child an African name if they want without the fear of ridicule. Or,any ethnicity for that matter. I hope I'm making sense. I am also part Native American, and have thought it would be neat to use a Native American name for a child. Anyway, enough about me! Good luck to you and I hope you choose a name you truly love regardless of what others think!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Mon, 06-05-2006 - 11:06am

I think the "trashy and made-up" stereotypes you are referring to (not necessarily in regard to the names you had listed, but in general) has much more to do with the actual names than with them being of African heritage. What I mean to say is that there is a HUGE difference between actual African names, such that you would actually find in use in Africa, and those that are commonly used by many African Americans. For example, here is a list of really African names http://www.behindthename.com/nmc/afr.php

Now, I went to college in Philadelphia, and we had a very large African American population, many of the girls with names like Shonquay, Shaniqua, Sharita/Cherita, Shonquita/Shaunkweeta, Shamilla, Sharmettuh, Raycitah, Nakiyah/Nakia, etc. (these are names of actual girls I knew, and there were others with the same or similar names that I'm not sure of the spellings). First of all, I think it's safe to point out that many, if not all, of these names are NOT actual African names (try looking them up on that list if you don't believe me). Most even joked about how their mothers just made up something they simply liked the sound of, mixing syllables around until they had a "unique" name. This is apparent in the numerous Sh---ay sounding names, which were quite popular, all spelled/souding just a bit different, yet all sounding suspiciously similar (apparently because they make a nice sound if you KWIM).

Also, although I couldn't remember them all, many ended up with (admittedly) made-up names that practically WERE the same, such as Shonquita and Shaunkweeta in my example. However, in an effort to be "unique," Shaunkweeta's mother went with a bit of an unexpected spelling, to say the least (this according to Shaun ... who refused to use the -kweeta ending LOL). So my other point would be that, yes, names like this do appear made-up, especially when paired with an off-the-wall spelling, but this is not limited to names used by African Americans. Even more traditional names like Emily and Corrina can be given spellings like Emuhleigh and Korynah (I actually saw this exact spelling today!) and, quite frankly, most will get the same "trashy and made-up" impression. Just regular names, true, but the appearance gives them an entirely different feel.

So when people see names like these that they've never seen/heard before with what appear to be made-up spellings, they're likely to assume the parents were lower-class, poorly-educated, etc. and, unfortunately, may make the same assumptions about the child. Completely unfair (after all, not many of us get to name ourselves anyway! LOL), but true.

Again, I'm not referring to the names you'd listed, since they're not in this thread and I can't remember them all from the other day when I read your other post, so I don't mean to imply this about any of them.

HTH

~Kelli


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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2005
Mon, 06-05-2006 - 11:43am

Be proud of who you are and where you came from and stick with the name that means something to you and that

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