Changing last names?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2007
Changing last names?
4
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 5:00pm

One of the problems I have thinking about names is the issue of how the first and last names work together.

I'm single right now, but not planning to have kids for awhile. If I get married before I have kids (and either take my partner's name or hyphenate), their last name will be decided before they are born, and I can choose a first name that goes with our last name. But what if I end up having kids and then marrying and my childrens' last names change? What if I have a girl and she grows up and takes her partner's name or hyphenates?

Do you consider these things in choosing your baby's name (especially for daughters)? Or do you just make sure there are no unfortunate rhymes or jokes with the last name they'll be given and send them out into the world?

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-20-2003
Thu, 04-12-2007 - 7:49pm

It's impossible to predict the future and women have lots of choices if/when they get married and

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2007
Fri, 04-13-2007 - 12:57am
There is no way to know what will happen or what surnames may be at issue down the road. And if you have a girl, she may change her name when she gets married, or not change it, or hyphenate it, or not change it legally but use her husband's name for some purposes and her own last name for others. There are so many unknowns, I think you should just make your choices based on what surname the child gets when s/he is born. Everything else will work itself out at the time.
Avatar for dr_kae
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-13-2007 - 11:29am
You can only control a tiny fragment of your children's lives, so I choose their names for the portion that I can manage and send them out into the world, just as I feed them for the time I have them and clothe them for the time I have them. I can teach them for now, try to teach them right from wrong, try to teach them proper nutrition and good taste and care for the environment...but eventually I have to let them go out and get it right or wrong for themselves. Same goes for whether or not the name my child eventually goes by (whether they marry or change their name or whatever) sounds good to me or not.
<Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Sat, 04-14-2007 - 10:39am

I'm not really sure HOW you would go about considering anything but the ln they'll be given at birth, but I do think giving your child a fn with options can help a great deal in any of these situations (adopting a step-parent's or husband's ln, for example).

For instance, if your dd Nell were taking your new dh's ln or marrying into the Bell family, she might appreciate having the formal name Eleanor to fall back on, rather than forever being known as "Nell Bell." LOL Definitely one of the reasons I would never use a nn as a given name. Even if you think you'll never call her by the more formal version, it's very likely she'll appreciate having the choice (especially if she ends up with a different ln that works better with the longer form of even another nn that can stem from it -- Maisie or Greta, rather than Maggie, if she ends up being Margaret Hagee, for example). You get the idea. ;)


Powered by CGISpy.com